Dad intolerant to my sensory issues

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Hello.
I decided to write this since my dad seems very intolerant to my sensory/social issues. For example I do not like touching other people, especially their hands. But my dad still insists I shake people's hands even though I have tried to tell him I think it is very uncomfortable to touch people's hands. But he does not listen or understand. It seems to me that he insists that I somehow become a NT. Any suggestions or ideas that could help me?

Perhaps it won't bother you anymore to shake hands if you keep doing it. I think your dad us right. He is teaching you. Sometimes you will be put in an uncomfortable situation but you must stick it out.

Tell him that you feel like you need to pack your stuff up & go move out & be on your own.
Actually, nevermind, considering that you said he was intolerant, just pack up & move out anyway.
Parents these days always seem to be over-rating themselves. You would do a better job parenting yourself.

Hmm okay. I think you will have to wait a few years to move.

Perhaps you can stop interacting completly at all and become machine like, maybe then your dad will accept you as you are and apologise for trying to change you.

Shake their hands if you must but release as soon as you can and limit the pressure of the touch. They will see you as anxious and shy but who cares? It's better than being considered rude by not touching at all.

People won't offer handshakes to you too often once they discover your reaction because they won't want to make you uncomfortable again. And since you are still young you are not even allowed to offer handshake first. The one older/with higher social status or eventually a woman should be the one to offer a handshake first.

Fortunately I am a woman so I don't have to deal with handshakes too often - only clueless idiots(casual setting) or people of high social status(business setting) offer me handshakes first and I never offer it.

But I have to deal with social kisses.

I kiss the air near people cheeks instead of their cheeks and when they "kiss" me I stand still but I give them a hard time by lurking back if their lips get too close to my skin. No lips is allowed to touch me!
Most people already learned how to treat me and a lot of them - especially my aunts - just say "I know you don't like kissing so I won't kiss you" and only do a light hug or just kiss the air away from my skin, without even bothering with the close air kiss, not to mention skin kiss.

I wish I were there so I could assess the situation better.

Maybe your dad wants what's best for you--and he wants you to be successful.

Or maybe he's just a control freak.

Either way, I would really try to shake hands with people. This is how people socialize. The more you do it, the more, perhaps you'll get used to it and not find it so bad.

To be honest, I'm not a fan of "not interacting," in most cases.

Do you have an official diagnosis? If so, maybe he'd understand if you pointed out that it's part of your disability. (Your brain amplifies certain sensations to the point where they become painful or unpleasant.) Or if you don't have a diagnosis, maybe you can look into getting one.

Forcing yourself to do the thing despite sensory discomfort can sometimes reduce sensitivity, but often it doesn't. In order to reduce sensitivity, it has to be just at the threshold of tolerable - if it's over that threshold, exposure will not desensitize you. It also helps if you're in control of the sensation.

So, unless your reaction to handshakes is very minor, your dad forcing you to shake hands will not help.

One of the most common myths about autism (sadly perpetuated by 'autism experts') is that if you can get the autistic person to show normal behaviour, somehow that makes them more normal. It doesn't, really. Research has shown that autistics who learnt to do a normal behaviour that didn't come naturally generally do it using different brain regions than NTs.

For example, Temple Grandin was nonverbal at 3, and then learnt to talk and eventually caught up until she became the well-spoken public speaker she is now. However, fMRIs have revealed that she is lacking a part of the brain normally used for language, and has rewired a bunch of other brain areas to compensate. And her personal accounts mirror this - she feels she has her thoughts nonverbally and must consciously translate them into speech, which always takes effort.

Your father needs to learn that you will never be neurotypical, no matter how many hands you shake or whatever else you do. If you do learn to act more NT, you will do it in a different way and it'll always be somewhat harder for you. In order for you to function effectively, you need to pick what's really worth doing, and what's not worth wasting your energy on.

Do you have meltdowns? If so, tell him that sensory overload is known to increase the likelihood of a meltdown in an autistic person. If he'd like you stop having meltdowns, he needs to stop forcing you to do things you find overloading.

I know what that is like. My wife tells me that I just need to try harder and I can be normal. I am in my home. I can't be myself in my own home? I wish I knew the answer to this because I can't just run from it either. It will take a lot of time I guess.

I don't know, perhaps I would just adapt the Japanese-style culture of greetings, and bow instead.
A bow is equivalent of a hand-shake & is supposed to be a sign of respect.
You could start learning Japanese, become an Otaku-type, and introduce JP-Style Culture.