Aspie Men are Jerks

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That is what I'm reading all over the net about aspie marriages. Geez, what is going on with the NT women that they have to dump a load of blame on the mean aspies for the failure of their relationships? Oh, and aspie women - they're just very rare and little, if anything, is known about them or their relationships. pffft.

This psychologist is writing a book about the horrible relationships between aspie men and NT women:

http://www.kmarshack.com/news/current/as/faq.html

It is so one-sided. Like we are some kind of monsters. Like we don't have enough problems with self-esteem!

These AS men sound horrible. We ought to assemble an angry mob of villagers with pitchforks and torches and storm the castle.

Ive been in two disasters with NT women and I can safely say it was a case of everyone being an as*hole at one time or another. But I really take offense to this from that website,

"Many describe living with an Aspie as “water torture.” It is the constant drip, drip, drip of small thoughtless behaviors that destroys the relationship."

Wow, that sums up perfectly my main complaint about both my NT women. The Phd got it backwards, but thats how most professional NTs would look at it. course the thoughtless behaviour she's describing are such atrocious things as not wanting eye contact and be unpredictable. Viva le unpredictable AS'ers.

I didn't get the monster interpretation out of that.
I also don't get relationships. I don't know what the Aspie experience is like for other people, but I can choose my obsessions, to a certain point. I've been able to make a girl an obsession, and I've also been unable to even feign interest because I just didn't care.
I don't know any in between.

Yeah, that looks so slanted that I'd almost have to wonder if Dr. Marshack recently went through an ugly divorce from an aspie or something. The whole premise is that an NT and an aspie can't possibly understand each other well enough to make a relationship work, which is obviously going to be false in a great many cases.

Yeah that's what the tone of that article reminded me of. That lady is a lowlife just trying to make a buck by expoiting other's problems.

Hate to break it to the ladies all men are Jerks

And I take bigger offense to this quote;

"Often these relationships are without sexual intimacy."

Wow, have I got a surprise for her.

The article makes it seem as though it is impossible for any Aspie to maintain a normal relationship by trying to understand what the other person is feeling. That is just not true. I can understand and empathize with another person's feelings just fine, as long as they tell me what they are.

YEAH! Women often have trouble with men, and it isn't always the men. With MY parents, BOTH were responsible, even though each says it was the others fault! I heard all the stories, and lived enough with both to see the truth.

And what do NT women expect? It's like those women that marry homosexual men hoping to change them!

As for the "revenge" aspect? YEAH RIGHT! WHY???? HOW????

I'm surprised she isn't more understanding about AS women!

Steve

"Are there women with Asperger Syndrome?
Yes and their lives are probably even more complex than their male counterparts. To some extent, males with Asperger’s are more accepted because their behavior is viewed as extreme male thinking. But women with Asperger Syndrome are viewed as cold, uncaring, and selfish. Many AS women never marry or they marry AS men."

She's a complete idiot who doesn't know what she's talking about.

Look at the women w/ AS on this site. What percentage of us are married? Much much higher than the men.

Exactly. Thats that non-verbal thing that we dont get. NTs have perfected it cause they dont like to just say what it is that needs saying, theres this elaborate f*****g code game goin on that you're supposed to be able to guess what is really being said. f**k that. Im sure thats alot of the so called water torture, making an NT just say what their feeling in a simple and easy to understand fashion. Water torture at its best.

To be honest with you, some of you women could have almost anyone you want, and your different mindset can actually HELP you! YOU will understand the men better, and they will understand you better! It IS ironic! With MEN, it hurts socialy everywhere, but ESPECIALLY with women. With women it doesn't hurt as much, and may help with men. HECK, for all I know, you may even not have much trouble with other women!

ALSO, partially because of that and society, a good man will be more understanding and tolerant than many women. ESPECIALLY considering the laws in most US states, I bet most divorces are started by WOMEN!

But HEY, THAT jerk is a woman, and probably doesn't know the first thing about how men think. I doubt she even understands women.

Steve

I am so glad there is a smiley at the end of that line, Machine.

Call me a naif, but I like AS guys.

One of my gripes about that piece is that the NT women described were shallow, uncreative, narrowminded wenches who need a wrench upside the noggin. Just like Steve said--these women knew what these guys were like--what, they were magically going to change, and suddenly become NT behaving? Doofusses. Or is that Doofi?

Wendy, while there are a good deal of females on the site who are married, that's not scientific, but I do see your point. Being one of the unmarried, never married--I'm just learning why that is. But the author of that book is a goof if she thinks that of AS women. Well, hell, look at what she thinks of AS men.

What's wrong with people? These people are determined to be martyrs and blame others for the mistakes and bad behavior that belong to them.

That thing is slightly irritating.

Bleah.

Extreme male thinking? Pfft. I am about as feminine as males come.

Have you guys read some of the other websites where women talk about aspie men like they are brain damaged and treat them like children? No relationship is cut and dried where everything is the fault of the aspie's lack of empathy. I just don't believe it. There is a lynch mob mentality with some of the NT women that is being fueled by their marriage counselors.

Even in the book "An Asperger Marriage," by Gisela and Christopher Salter-Walker, the tone is condescending to the aspie.

It's depressing and shows how little is known about what we're really like. And you can't hide it from your spouse. You have to suffer patronizing comments, I suppose.