I find the fact I'm a minority within a minority... several other oddities too... depressing. Not the clinical kind, at all. Circumstances can be very depressing, especially without a certain dissociative...
I mean, I listen to radio 4 all day, my constant companion... but even then, the average age is in the fifties... not that it matters, but they just described someone as isolated and it might as well describe my every summer. Summer might be an idyll for the really young, but for some lonely person who rarely goes out and yet is besieged by the aforementioned people who think summer is all so sweet when in reality it's hell for others.
Oh, and there really isn't an easy way to get out of my loneliness... I did in fact just check the 'what's on' of where I live... indeed, it's just pubs, or outrageously priced films (what's the point, when I'll still be fundamentally alone, and can watch films all on my own anyway exactly where I am?)
I don't think I can even wonder about somehow living in London (where everything happens) or so, either, with 'gentrification' around (just listened to someone who had to get out of her childhood borough due to high prices... now getting out of my borough seems to be my way out of loneliness, perhaps, but it's all impossible...)
I'm in such a minority within a minority I was even barred, entirely due to bureaucratic reasons, from the local aspie meeting room in the college I went to... so not only have I been alone for three entire years or so now, I've been fundamentally alone during the last year too... the resulting papers (for an 'Access course') are entirely useless, anyway...
04 Aug 2015, 10:41 am
