Nonverbal when under stress/meltdown?

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Anyone else become completely nonverbal when you have a panic attack or meltdown? When I have them I cannot physically speak. My mind is saying words but my mouth just isn't. Anyone else have same problem

Yes and wasn't too long ago. Unfortunately my mum took it as meaning I was mad at her or something and just kept coming after me when I tried to get away saying "what did I do? I haven't done anything to you". I tried keeping my door jammed by keeping the weight of my body against it but unfortunately I don't weigh very much so she managed to get in and got me cornered. She just kept asking me questions but I just couldn't get the words out for some reason. She threatened to take me to hospital (what? ) and I was just terrified as f**k and managed to get "no" out but I don't know how many times I said it. Don't even know why I can't talk when stressed, seems weird.

Yes, I absolutely get this way, and it has caused me problems in the past.

iliketrees, I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope your mother realizes now that there are better ways to handle a meltdown.

Than chase me around the house at midnight? Can't think of any better way than that personally. Don't know if she learnt anything from it. Not sure what I can do.

Sounds like she's coming at you from a selfish standpoint (I have to know RIGHT NOW if you're mad at me!) instead of a standpoint of concern for you (she needs time to calm down, and we can resolve the question of whether she is mad later). She is making things worse by increasing your stress, which is the worst thing a person can do during a meltdown. It's like throwing dry brush onto a fire.

Yep...that has happened to me.

I'm not non verbal but my throat gets tight and sore to swallow - does anyone else have this?

I don't know if it's melt down or pschosomatic. Same thing?

Happened recently and I excused myself from work to come home and rest.

I'm new to this and trying to work things out. its happened before and I thought I'm fighting a virus but wonder if it's a warning .... It does make me slow down so it works!

I'd like to know if anyone else experiences this - it would really help

I'm not diagnosed yet; the psychologist and psychiatrist both agreed they should have Adult Diagnostic look at me.

Before I ramble on: When I go nonverbal, my jaw clenches. Usually my throat doesn't do anything. Mouth can simply tighten. Other times it doesn't even to that. I simply know I can't talk. If the jaw hasn't tightened I can eventually force out words but that hurts... in my head? That doesn't make sense as it isn't really a headache although my whole body feels funny, but it is like my mind doesn't want me speaking. There can be screaming in my head or taunting or all sorts of nonsense. It's me being horrible to myself, not voices.

Anyway, I had been somewhat concerned that I was perhaps wrong in my assumption because I didn't always go nonverbal and not as much as now when I did - then I found out about burnout/"regression" and fluid adaption.

For me, I think that my "refusal to talk" when in trouble as a child could have been partly me going nonverbal. It wouldn't have been a problem to me then as I had no desire to talk to any of them. In high school I couldn't say anything back to bullies and would "withdraw". Later there would be times I would go nonverbal during sex; not great if you practice BDSM.

I used to think I was trying to torture myself or validate how weird and horrible I felt by making bad experiences happen. Nowadays though, with adult issues and my own flat and piles of stressors, I lose the power to speak. I think it started consciously one day when my brain told me that if I didn't speak and rocked a bit, the person would understand how upset they were making me. Fortunately the rocking felt relaxing and familiar - blocked out most of childhood but I must have rocked then - and unfortunately my voice wouldn't come back.

As time went by I'd lose my voice more often. I can sometimes grunt and whine and such but of course that was no help to anybody. Other times I can't so I originally tried to sign for what I wanted in a manner which I thought was obvious. My carer rarely understands and of course if you've gone meltdown -> shutdown* it can be extremely frustrating. When I'm not too tired I make the sign of scribbling on my hand or typing. People know I'm ready to try to communicate that way. Eventually I get out of it and can talk.

One ex tried to take the paper off me and write his response, despite him not needing it. I think I death-glared him. He said he wanted to join in because it was "cute".

An easy way to bring me out of nonverbal is to go find one of my cats and let me stroke them for a bit. The person should talk to the cat and not me, or ask me questions about the cat. If I were outside and there was a dog, same deal. Bring me an animal and let me connect with them, and eventually I can talk to you while still focusing on the hopefully furry thing (I guess a frog would work but not as well as a fluffy creature). I've always preferred animals to humans and I especially feel connected to cats. In lieu of that, you could try giving me a very luxurious feeling soft toy.

Nonverbal for me has calmed down - only in high stress or extreme input environments, or when there are a great many life stressors, or [insert other severe situations]. No other sense really assists and unless you are a long-term partner, touching me makes it worse. Even then it might still do no good. The only ways are animal communion, texture stimming, or waiting it out. No music, even if it is soothing ambient.


So what am I saying to you? I may be autistic, I may not be. Other people can go nonverbal too. The thing is, I found out what aids me. You can too, though it might be a different sense. If you have a pet, even maybe a hamster as long as it isn't too wriggly, try focusing on it for a while. Something about their being is calming for certain individuals.

Darcygirl: For work, a small soft toy or fluffy piece of fabric or a key ring with fur to stroke, if texture helps.


*Don't know how common that is but I get it. I rarely feel relieved after the meltdown, I need to let all systems drop for a while first. A lot of the time it isn't a choice

Thanks nyxbean

I do find stroking a bump in something soft soothing so I'll look into that defininely.

It's pretty rare for me, but I've sometimes found myself not very articulate when in a stressful situation - usually when I was under some kind of attack, like being rebuked by more than one person in a workplace. I put it down to evolution. Can't expect a person to be very intellectual when they're full of "fight or flight" hormones. My best coping strategy was to withdraw and wait till I'd calmed down a bit. It's got better over the years.

Yes. I have found i forget how to talk. The images and feelings come into my head but i can't attach any words to them. I realized after reading Temple Grandin's book that I think in pictures too, and then add the English words to the pictures so I can talk to other people about them. If I get very upset, excited, or even just very happy, the picture-to-English translator starts assigning words more slowly and eventually stops working. If the words come slowly, I stutter or pause a lot. if the words stop coming, I wind up doing a sort of frantic charades, pantomiming the pictures, because I can't even write down what I want to say. When I was a kid, I just pretended I didn't want to talk because I was too embarrassed.

Very same thing happens to me. It's seems pretty common. Before I was diagnosed I thought I must have some kind of seizure or brain problem that made me unable to talk or move much.

Hmm. Interesting. What usually helps me is if people go away and if I'm in a dark room.

This is similar to how I feel when stressed to the point I can't talk. It hurts, like I'm being electrocuted, especially in my face and tongue, and my jaw clenches, and no matter how much I want to yell at the person, I can't. If I do manage to force myself to say something, it really hurts, like how I imagine swallowing lightning would feel. It also makes me dizzy, like I'm going to pass out.

It's really interesting to see the variation in this thread. I think I "prefer" mine to yours although that is mean to say, probably. I'm not sore when I'm not talking except for the potential tight jaw and the shouting in my head. If the person isn't pestering or if I have my earplugs and/or a blanket to hide under, the not being able to talk can become oddly peaceful. If I feel safe and don't need the toilet or a drink or something (because if I'm nonverbal it is almost certain that I am also stuck to where I am standing or sitting) then it can feel almost "zen". I suppose that might be a bit of dissociation as it doesn't seem adaptive; it's just a pleasant thought to not be making words...

It's when I'm trying to force or actually speaking through it that it hurts. Not lightning but I do get dizzy and sometimes feel like I might go a bit faint. The dizziness and "wrongness" hurts in a way in which I can't actually accurately describe, the dizzy becoming more than dizzy. What I do notice is a crushing sensation not only in my head - jaw clenching as I have to speak through my teeth usually - but also all around me. The room can tip a bit. Ugh. The next time it happens I'll try to remember to observe so I can explain better in the future.

There are other times though when my body is limp and there isn't much dizziness. This is when I really truly am drained. If I manage to talk I feel a bit weird but I don't think anything in me has the energy to "attack" any more. The words come out stuttered, stammering, mispronounced, and in a tiny kid's voice. I might weep somewhat when it is like this.

I suppose if I am found on the spectrum that this could be meltdown/shutdown versions. Wild guess.


Sometimes I can quite happily be nonverbal on the occasions I can wander around and get what I need by myself. I flap people away when they try to talk (people being my carer since he's the only one here). It's more than not wanting to talk, I know it will hurt. However, I don't mind because I'm not requiring aid. It is rare and probably fits into dissociative issues which appear in me, only in a kinder way than usual.

If I am not on the autism spectrum, I wonder what it is? Sudden urge to look into it a bit for the sake of it.

yeaah, usually when i go into shut down mode, formulating sentences can get really really hard, most of the time i only get half the sentence out.

Always. Selective mutism or vocal paralysis.