Should I involve my as bf in my social life?

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I am very, very social and obviously my AS boyfriend (of almost 5 years) is not. He has no friends (other than me) and doesn't care to. Any time I have plans I invite him (out of courtesy) and he says he wants to join, anytime I suggest plans with another couple he agrees. Since the beginning I could tell being around others is not at all enjoyable for him. While I love having him around, he makes my time with friends less enjoyable. I am constantly concerned about him and used to spend my time trying to make him more comfortable. Once I realized this was not possible I would simply socialize on my own and leave him to sit in silence in his chair. My friends are constantly asking what is wrong and worried about him but I assure them that he is fine and happy. The problem is that he always wants to attend everything with me but then sits in the corner, in the car, tries to get me to leave or starts an argument with me. For example at my last high school reunion I asked if he wanted to go and explained that I am very excited to see everyone and will be walking around talking so wouldn't be right there with him. He wanted to go. After the first half hour of introducing him he disappeared. I just kept talking until a number of my school friends asked where he was. I found him sitting in the car. I went back in for a bit determined to not let him ruin my night but then felt bad and just left. If I tell him he can't come because I just want to enjoy myself he gets mad or accuses me of wanting to meet other guys (which I don't). I am understanding of his aversion to being around others and love that he likes to spend time with me but how do I maintain friendships and enjoy a social life when he makes it impossible for me to enjoy myself. Many friends have stopped inviting me to things because of him. I can't function in isolation like he can. What do I do?

If your really social then why are you with him? :-/ doesn't match.

It reads as though you have made reasonable efforts at altering things so that they might work better. If I correctly understand the results have not been satisfactory, then it could be one is down to either adjusting expectations or making difficult choices.

Well, that isn't a given that an AS person doesn't like to socialize. Some of us do. I have AS and I enjoy socializing much more than my NT husband does. He prefers to chill out in front of the tv and at times I'd rather go out with friends. I go out when I want to and he sttays home. I invite him but he doesnt't want to go and that is fine.

Of course we have been married 28years and in the very beginning it wasn't like that. I stayed home with him or he went out with me because in the first part of a relationship, that's how it is.

I'd suggest you both compromise. You stay home sometimes with him when he wants to and he goes out with you sometimes when you want to. Then if you are compatable and still together after a while, you will start to find your groove that works for you. Unless he's one of those jealous guys who have to have their head right up your butt all the time, and in that case I'd suggest not even dating him because that gets old fast. But then, you never know.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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My husband is a lot more social than I am, and I always wanted to go with him because I just wanted to be with him, though I was often awkward and quiet. I never abandoned him, though. It is possible the social situations are causing anxiety problems or something else with your boyfriend?

One thing that really helped with my husband and I as far as communicating went was writing letters (since I'm not good at speaking my thoughts coherently). We tell the each other how we feel about something and try to find a work-around. We find it's better to be completely open with each other so we can be aware of situations and how the other might be feeling. Has your boyfriend told you how he feels in social situations and what might make it better, or at least easier?

I think you should. He'd enjoy that time with you a lot. Even if he doesn't socialize much with your friends, he'd enjoy just being there with you.

I think you have a very serious problem here. I guess all couples have different ideas about how much of their lives they will share, but I think social life is rather a biggie, and if you can't share it without trouble, it's a bad sign.

Do you think this jealousy of his is sexual jealousy, or can he simply not stand you to be friendly even with other women? Do you talk fairly openly with each other about the feelings behind this failure to share social things?

He has to become more secure. You can't make him more secure. He has to do that for himself--with perhaps some help from you.