Whats the difference between arguing and sharing an opinion?

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People always say im arguing when im just saying what im thinking. Whats the difference?

When you don't accept another persons opinion as valid and try to shove your own down someone else's through is arguing

The primary meaning of 'argument' for me is an exchange of views in which the participants adopt differing, or opposing, stances. In that sense it's a 'neutral' word and I don't have any problems with being in an 'argument' so defined.

I think the difficulties arise when one gets into an 'argument' in the secondary sense of the word, ie a 'row', often involving abusive language, unfounded accusations against the opposing party and so on.

One would like to think that the difference between the two is obvious, but that sometimes seems not to be the case, on this forum and elsewhere.....

So if my opinion is different than someone i shouldnt say it?

Respect and Kindness

No idea. I see NT's exchanging differing opinions all the time, but if I try to join in I'm called argumentative.

It's more a matter of how you state it. If you say it as 'this is my opinion, but you might think differently', you're not being argumentative (though people might pick an argument anyway). If you say it as 'this is obviously correct, and anyone who thinks differently is wrong', then you are being somewhat argumentative. If you say 'this is obviously correct and everyone who disagrees is stupid or evil', then you're definitely being argumentative.

That's not what I was suggesting at all! Why shouldn't you say it, assuming that it's relevant to the subject under discussion and stated in a calm, unthreatening manner?

If you take a look at this thread, there's an illustration of what I meant. At one point Poster A (myself, as it happens) offers a perspective or opinion which is pretty matter of fact and not calculated to inflame, but which is opposed to Poster B's viewpoint. I would categorize this as legitimate 'argument'. Poster B then responds aggressively with a torrent of words in capital letters, exclamation marks and swearing. This I would categorize as the second, 'rowing' sort of 'argument'.

Then again, that's only my opinion - you, and others, may well feel Poster B was justified in so responding.

And as I said before, whereas the differences between 'legitimate' and 'non-legitimate' argument should be obvious, when emotions become involved it's rarely that simple.

I personally try to keep arguments 'logical' and evidence-based, but am perfectly happy to engage with people who want to 'argue' on any basis, even if its based on emotion and is to some degree aggressive. For that reason I'm one of those people who expresses dismay when certain threads (usually in PPR or Love And Dating) are locked, though I'm not denying that such measures are occasionally necessary.

"Sharing an opinion" leaves room for other opinions to be expressed without being attacked. There is a smooth communication of ideas presented in an even-keeled voice.

"Arguing" does not leave such room. If one expresses an opinion in variance to that of the speaker, the speaker attacks that person (at least) verbally.

Depends on the situation...is this happening at work? Sometimes people label it as arguing because they just don't want to hear what you think...for example, an insecure manager who just wants employees to do whatever they say without question.

To me, the difference is usually repetition. If a person says what they think once or twice, that's sharing an opinion. If they keep saying it over and over, it comes across as arguing.

I was wondering about that. Was that angry-looking post really aimed at you? I couldn't see anything in your post that could induce that kind of response. I'm really puzzled.

I see no difference. It just means not agreeing and it means to disagree. So basically if you have a different opinion than someone, you are arguing when you share yours. I have also gotten the same so I assume people like to express theirs but don't want to hear mine if it's different than theirs. They will also accuse me of things and then not want to hear how wrong their perception was of me.

There are very, very few people with whom I can share my opinion. Once I do, it is usually the end of any chance at friendship. I *guess* people think I am argumentative? All I know is that things are over once I share my opinion, and I have to be very, very careful who I can open up to.

But here's the thing:
I don't use bad language.
I don't put down other people's ideas (just offer another one.)
I don't call people names or call them stupid.
I am polite and respectful in my speaking manner.
I don't speak in an emotional manner about these things.

All I do is say what I think in a simple, straight-forward manner. I am convinced the problem is that I say something that counters what the other person said, and they don't know how to refute what I said. So, therefore, I must have "shoved it down their throat" and been rude.

What an interesting question. I always wonder why people (NTs) do not like to hear other opinions (mostly mine). And I am always amazed how other NTs agree right away to someone's oppinion without using their brain to see if what that person has just said is logical or not, only because they considered that person, I don't know.... Intelligent enough... That is when I try to give mine and it is not welcome at all, even though I say it with respect. I like hearing others oppinion, and as I use my logic all the time, for me it is quite difficult to hear something that makes no sense for me and not say what I think. I do think that everyone should be able to do this and others should not get pissed.

I think at one point, people did. A couple of hundred years ago, during the founding of America and previous, people were *publicly* disagreeing with and even insulting each other. What has happened?

Society has become soft, sterile, fake, and wimpy.

To me, if you want to make a statement, be ready to back it up. If you can't, be ready to learn. If I disagree with you, thank me. I'm helping you exercise your brain.

And they say autistic people have this issue but it seems like normal people have this issue too. They don't want a different perspective, they think they are always right, they don't seem to understand different views.

Yes I do like to hear different opinions and see different perspectives. It's how I learn about reality and be aware of what others might be thinking and see from a different viewpoint.