Social skills??

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Hello.
Today i was at a small family gathering. I now later realize (after a discussion with my mother) that i was "rude", although i did not think i was. How do i become less "rude"? And how do i connect with people? With most people i feel no connection at all, even if i have known them for my whole life.
Where (and how) could i improve my social skills?

It would have to be an NT you trust to tell you the truth about what things you do that might be seen as rude. They'd have to know you're Aspie, otherwise they will think it's strange trying to answer your questions. What did you do that your Ma thought was rude?

When I saw my uncle I said he looked older and I replied shortly to questions and I wasn't very social. And I commented on my sisters friends shorts.

It all has to do with the words that one uses. I actually came out and told my friend Mary that I'd been friends with for over 10 yrs probably something I shouldn't have said. I hadn't seen her for a while and when I did her hair was gray - I mean gray when it used to be light blonde from a tint she always put on. I was so taken aback that I said "Did you do something with your hair? Is it gray?" She said her hairdresser said that the tint she used wasn't good and she should just go natural. I just came out and said "Is that what you wanted to do? I have to be honest - it makes you look older." She actually said that she didn't like it and I believe she went back to the tinting. Idk. It's all in how you word things. Like your uncle I probably would have said something like "You look different from when I last saw you." If they ask how, then I'd say "You look more distinguished." Like with my friend Mary, I said the new look made her look old, but the way she used to do her own hair made her look young. Kind of offset a negative with a positive.

I wouldn't comment on what anyone is wearing unless it's positive or they ask your truthful opinion.

NEVER EVER tell anybody over 21 that they look older.

It's cool for a 15-year-old, not so much for a 54-year old.

It has to do with the fear of death, as well as vanity.

I think it's usually wise to avoid criticising anything about a person unless you have to. I think it's good to study politeness, and there's a lot of stuff on the Web about it. It's quite an art to please people enough without giving the their own way too much, because it's just as important for you to feel comfortable too. I'm still not very confident about getting the balance right.

I have been immersed in the NT world all my life( 53 years) and I still inadvertently say rude things. All we can do is try. Another little trick I have found that helps is to not say anything when your not sure what to say.