i have realized my diagnosis is nobody's business!

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campboy92
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27 Jul 2015, 10:17 pm

only about 4 people know about my autism diagnosis and one of them always tells me, that more people will understand why i do the things that i do or why i create the things that i create, or that my perception on the world would be more valid if i opened up about my autism but do you know what? screw that...

my diagnosis is nobody's business, it is not a badge i need to define me - my diagnosis has helped me understand myself and saved my life, and that is something personal, for me - if i open up about it. do you know the reactions i'll have to deal with? the eye rolls... the condescending responses, the "oh, sure. you're just so special" because everyone feels so threatened, so easily. why should i put myself through that?

i know we are all living in the era of transparency and defining ourselves by 950 different labels but i feel like this is something i want to keep private and it's not hiding it. maybe, it's protecting it?



DevilKisses
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28 Jul 2015, 1:25 am

I agree with you. In my case autism was never an accurate diagnosis. It just got me some help. I accept that no label is really accurate. That's why my diagnosis is no ones business. It just leads to more misunderstandings.


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Norny
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28 Jul 2015, 4:03 am

I think that sharing a diagnosis is fine, as long as the person isn't in my face about it as if their entire identity revolves around a label. By that I mean alluding to, or performing actions to manipulate me into thinking about their label. Yes I can understand them better by knowing but no, I don't define anyone by a diagnostic label.

I think such people need more help than they have received, for their identity crisis.


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28 Jul 2015, 4:14 am

You don't have to tell everyone. I only tell my employers; once I've been hired because it can affect my work. My family know too but I don't make it common knowledge


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campboy92
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14 Aug 2015, 1:56 am

Norny wrote:
I think that sharing a diagnosis is fine, as long as the person isn't in my face about it as if their entire identity revolves around a label. By that I mean alluding to, or performing actions to manipulate me into thinking about their label. Yes I can understand them better by knowing but no, I don't define anyone by a diagnostic label.

I think such people need more help than they have received, for their identity crisis.



I AGREE WITH YOU!



Sethno
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14 Aug 2015, 12:43 pm

campboy92 wrote:
only about 4 people know about my autism diagnosis and one of them always tells me, that more people will understand why i do the things that i do or why i create the things that i create, or that my perception on the world would be more valid if i opened up about my autism but do you know what? screw that...

my diagnosis is nobody's business, it is not a badge i need to define me - my diagnosis has helped me understand myself and saved my life, and that is something personal, for me - if i open up about it. do you know the reactions i'll have to deal with? the eye rolls... the condescending responses, the "oh, sure. you're just so special" because everyone feels so threatened, so easily. why should i put myself through that?

i know we are all living in the era of transparency and defining ourselves by 950 different labels but i feel like this is something i want to keep private and it's not hiding it. maybe, it's protecting it?


If someone has a bad back or a heart condition, they may look fine, and may be asked to help lift and move something heavy. They've got to explain, and not just say "No".

You can't isolate yourself from other people that way. It's humane to explain if you're a little "different". You know what some people say about high-fuctioning autistics...until they know the truth. (And even after that, in some cases.)


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Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".


lostonearth35
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14 Aug 2015, 12:52 pm

I think being diagnosed with Asperger's may have literally saved my life, so I am very thankful and I'm no closet aspie. I've had the absolute gall to even tell people on YouTube about it, especially the geniuses who say autistic people are stupid.

For years I asked my mother why I was so different, and neither she nor anyone else knew the answer until I was in my mid-20's and my life was almost completely ruined. And then suddenly things about me did start to finally make sense. Especially after I learned about typical traits of female aspies, which is still so woefully overlooked.



timf
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14 Aug 2015, 12:58 pm


i have realized my diagnosis is nobody's business!


Good for you. We each have to find and use the coping strategies that will allows us to function.



Hyperborean
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14 Aug 2015, 1:05 pm

Each person on the spectrum must approach this in the way that best suits them and their circumstances. You're right to say that labels, and the sometimes patronising responses that go with them, are generally unhelpful. If you are going to tell anyone about your diagnosis, they need to be someone you can completely trust - and people like that are few and far between.

So you do whatever you're comfortable with.



kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 1:11 pm

It's not a mark of shame to be autistic--but neither does one have to tell the whole world.

It's nobody's business, really.



Sethno
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14 Aug 2015, 1:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's not a mark of shame to be autistic--but neither does one have to tell the whole world.

It's nobody's business, really.


Unless they have to interact with you and might be troubled by certain things Autistic says or does. HFA people can sometimes hurt others by the things they say and do. It's only right to let such people know so they at least have a chance at understanding and not being hurt or offended.


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Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".


Rockymtnchris
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14 Aug 2015, 1:55 pm

Everyone should have the right to privacy with any diagnosis. There's laws (at least in the US) to try to protect such.
I have no problems with those who wish to closet their ASD diagnosis. No two or us are really the same thus some may find getting through life better without others knowing their situation.
In my case though, I choose to practise two levels of disclosure...
I "rock" my disabilites with government agencies, my employer, and my healthcare providers. Doing so helps each get an advanced picture of what I can and cannot do, and provides me the opportunity to receive reasonable accomodations.
With my circle of friends, however, some know and some don't. Generally I don't bring up my neurodiversity in the social setting until there's a valid reason to do so. (Of course hanging out with "the boys" cheering on football games with a pacifier in my mouth will cause questioning from those not already familar with me.)


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Neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 125 of 200
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Total score-161.0 Language-18.0 Social relatedness-69.0 Sensory/motor-39.0


kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 2:20 pm

One could apologize for one's "indiscretions" by not alluding to autism directly.

They can say: "Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed--so forgive me if I don't respond to you."

Things like that. Alluding to your autism, but not alluding to your autism.

There's nothing WRONG, per se, with mentioning your autism. But it's your RIGHT not to disclose.