My Autistic Son is scratching, poking, driving me crazy

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CaliforniaMan68
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03 Aug 2015, 1:10 pm

My son is four years old. He's on the spectrum. One of the things that he does is to scratch me. Or jab my scalp. Or grab or stick his foot in my groin. I don't think he does this to be malicious; I think it's a game or a joke to him. His ABA therapists have told me to intercept his behavior and redirect him. I've tried to do this hundreds of times. At times I get furious, but that's just what he wants. I do my absolute best to intercept behavior and redirect him. It's improved to some degree but he's still doing it. I wonder if at some point he does this to the wrong child or wrong person, and they hurt him. Not everyone will know how to deal with this like we do as his parents. As parents we are doing the absolute best we can for him. But I wonder just how much he will improve. We want the world for him.



kraftiekortie
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03 Aug 2015, 7:41 pm

How is your son functioning? Is he able to say words?



ZombieBrideXD
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03 Aug 2015, 7:59 pm

I used to scratch, pick at and bite my dad, I'd kick him and hit him, never ever wanted to hurt him I didn't even know that what I was doing was causing him pain, that was just how I showed him I loved him.

When I got really excited over anything, I'd tense up and start hitting and biting; this went on all the was to my early teen years and even today I catch myself biting and hitting people.

It will take a lot to remind him not to hit, scratch, and kick. It could be from excitement or showing affection.


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maglevsky
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18 Aug 2015, 4:56 am

Sounds just like my 4 year old!
Best things I've found:
- Keep redirecting. Preferably to something he likes doing. Often I hand him a sheet of paper and some pens and wave them right in front of his nose, that usually makes him crouch down on the floor and start drawing.
- Do other high-energy things like run, jump around, play tag; or even better, if you don't have the energy, get some other kids to do it. Thankfully my boy has an older sister who is on the one hand very understanding of him and on the other, bursting with juvenile energy that needs an outlet - a real win/win.

About "if at some point he does this to the wrong child or wrong person, and they hurt him" - this is a delicate one. When around other people I often spend a huge amount of effort explaining to them, redirecting him, and generally trying to steer things away from trouble. But energy is running low - I have 3 other kids - and he has to learn somehow, sometime. So, occasionally, I "strategically" let him to get himself into some mild trouble rather than intervening to prevent it - e.g. letting some random stranger yell at him when he takes their stuff, rather than intervening to prevent that from happening in the first place.


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Ettina
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18 Aug 2015, 8:17 am

CaliforniaMan68 wrote:
I wonder if at some point he does this to the wrong child or wrong person, and they hurt him.


I'm usually not in favour of corporal punishment, but if someone causes him a bit of pain in retaliation for this, it might teach him not to do it. I've heard occasionally that persistent painful-but-not-intentionally-aggressive behaviour can be interrupted by retaliation. Kind of like how my puppy learnt not to pester our cat.