Either I'm misbihaving or all my family has f-ing borderline

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Hello.
I'm in Iran. Which is a nice place really. visiting grandmothers and uncles and aunties and such.
The problem is, I'm too disorganized to manage such a trip on my own. ok that's not the problem. well the fact is I'm here with my sister and my mother, in a 40 qmeter flat. ok the place is nice but smal. but that's not the problem either.
The problem is that I'm accused by my mother and my sister of misbbehavind randomly. (note, I LIVE with my mother and my sister in Germany all the time! this is not a culture clash or any thing. I'm totally fine with the ACTUAL iranian people. relatives, cashiers, ANYONE although I was away for 16 years and I possibly have aspergers!! !! !)
At times I am sure I have GREATLY misbehaved and I go like a paranoid person "DID I MISBEHAVE?? SORRY SOOORYYYYY" and they goo naaaaaaahh you are paranoid again calm down.
and then, out of no where, there is argueing and getting super p**sed for no apparent reason.
For example my mother ordered food today on the phone and she gave our address wrong, or rather incomplete. I told here while she was on the phone. she didn't react. then I told her afterwards whether she wants to call again and tell the dude the complete address and then she held a a 5 minute long loud speech for me about how much of a bad person I am and I controll her and I should not command her to do stuff. Basically I just wanted the god damn food to arive because I was hungry. magically it did arrive because it was a local delivery service and they new the house.
Another example. My sister was very p**sed today generally. she would start arguments about everything. like she would tell me open the window and then she would mock me for not opening it wide enough. then she shouted a question, which was apparently directed towards my mother. I thought it was a general question and answered it. and in the middle of my answer my mother answered it. then I got accused of talking in between of my mothers answer. then I was pissed and maybe talked in betweend of my sisters endless loud preaches, whicle she paused, once or twice.
THEN I GOT ACCUSED OF TALKING BETWEEN MY SISTERS TALKS SINCE WE ARE IN IRAN. AND THAT I'M THE REASON FOR ALL HER MISERRY SINCE WE ARE ON OUR TRIP IN IRAN,

Particularly. I was accused of talking in between of my sisters talks when my aunt was there the day before. It's very strange. While EXACTLY on the same day, While my aunt was there, I got paranoid about misbehaving, i pulled my sister aside, we went into our "cigarette room" smoked a cigarette and I asked her whether I'm behaving well. She was VERY nice to me, She told me I'm behaving WELL. ITS ALL IN MY HEAD, AND IT'S ALL WELL. And today, after some misunderstanding, and after I talk in beween of my mother speaking (well actually my mother did it) somehow a time travel happens and I start to misbehave YESTERDAY?

This crap just doesn't make sense.

another funny thing is, that my mother once said to my that my grandmother (my father's side) and her whole family are dirty degenerates who wont wipe their asses. Ok. fine. But I once told my sister that my grandmother from fathers side is rather easygoing and wont ask too many questions if you tell her something about yourself as the other grandmother (mother's side) who would rather dig deep and ask questions. And guess what. LONG AS* LOUD ANGRYY SPEECH WITH GESTURES AND GRIMASSES even someone in coma would get about how immoral it is to judge and compare people! I'm in a coma. someone please wake me up.

The interesting part is after the whole loud talking and argueing and making grimasses that look outright spooky, these two people, after like 1 hour, go on with f-ing life and me JUST AS LIKE NOTHING HAPPEND!! !! it just scares the crap out of me! do they know what they do to me? right now, they are totally happy and chearful!! !! !!

The other thing is, They wont let me do crap. When we need to decide where to go, what to do, they say "ok lets talk about it and decide" (they preted like they are democratic) but if I say what I want and they don't like it, if even if I say I'll DO IT but I'm not sure it's the best thing to do, they use emotional blackmail. like "I dont feel good anymore, lets go home" " you made me feel bad. now I have headache" " lets go back to germany" " do you wanna go home alone from HERE (read: middle of nowhere) and we go to where ever we want? (this last one is funny because I'm not F-ing CAPABLE of comprehending the iranian bus and tube system and it's unwise to go alone (criminality). I f-ing moved to germany as a child)"

Congratulation to me. Before re-reading this I didn't even know. Know I know. I'm stuck with lonatics.
Thank you laptop keyboard. maybe I'm just emotionally crippled by my family and don't have asperger's
Any comment welcome.

Hey op I hate to tell you it but it's you, and you're family is getting sick of your behaviour and you're just too autistic to realize it.


"My mom didn't give complete address", yeah because she didn't need to because its obvious the delivery driver would find the place without the information, and if they needed it I'm sure they could call her back for better directions or have asked on the phone, I'm also going to go out on a leap and say you phrased your question very poorly.

I wasn't there for the window thing, the mocking may have been uncalled for but if their putting up with someone like you(autistic) their eventually gonna grow to be pissed at you.

It's also very possible you are the source of all her misery, since more than likely your out of touch with reality and can't understand how your actions affect others.

Also they act like nothing happened because it's not a big deal and you need to stop overacting over minor things.

Did you ever hear of passive aggression? It's how I deal with people who don't like me.

Next time your mom makes a mistake, don't correct her. Let her learn from her own mistakes, and never admit that you knew she was making a mistake in the first place.

Next time your sister orders you to do something, quietly wait for her to say "Please". She is likely to end up doing it herself, anyway, so it's win/win for you!

Don't answer any more questions, unless you know that they are directed only at you.

Never let them know that you care for their opinions - asking if you are behaving well puts you into their trap. If they say 'yes' and you're not behaving well, then they are setting you up to be yelled at again. If they say 'no' and you really are behaving well, then they're just messing with your mind.

As long as they know that they can provoke you into losing your temper, they will be able to do so anytime they want, and for their own amusement - and yes, it's for their amusement, like throwing things at a caged monkey just to watch it scream and go crazy.

Don't be their monkey.

Then tell me why everyone, EVERYONE, except these two peaple think im smart and polite, and why these two people happen to find many people other than me, who are completely fine imi, also totally obnoxious, EINSTEIN.

He coulda phrased that better, but he DOES have a point. This is one of the biggest problems with autism: NOT knowing when we're doing something incorrect in a social context. It can cause all sorts of trouble, and can be extremely frustrating, and there IS a good chance that is part of your problem. And furthermore, if your mother and sister do, as you say, find alot of people to be obnoxious too.... just think of how angry they can get if you are having a constant "dont know you're doing it" issue all the time. Even when dealing with normally calm people, if you're dealing with them often enough, it can still wear them down to the point where they'll snap every now and then. I know this one from experience.

Of course, the derpy part is the bit where you're specifically asking them if there's been any problems and they are telling you that there havent... ugh. I hate when people do something like that.


I'll also agree with alot of what Fnord said though; sometimes passive aggression really can help, particularly when the other person is all flared up and ready for a fight.