Mother doesn't understand and refuses to let me get tested.

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Hello all. I've been told by several different people that I have the telltale signs of aspergers and even had a psycologist tell me out of the blue, without my mentioning it, that I seem like someone with Aspergers Syndrome. My mother absolutely REFUSES to believe it and just thinks mild ADD is my problem. I tell her how I feel and such and she says its me searching things on the internet too much.
Sigh. The whole reason I even go to the internet for help regarding my feelings is because nobody cares to listen. All of these problems have been around my whole life but she is quick to forget this. What problems?

I have always been awkward in social situations, I can't focus very well and its very hard to maintain focus for extended periods of time unless I'm doing a hobby, or really interested in the subject. I prefer being alone a lot of the time because I get tired of being around people after a while and need *me* time. I have difficulty remembering to do things because I get so wrapped up in hobbies that I forget about everything else. Sexuality has also always been like finding a needle in a haystack for me. I still don't know where I fit in. I started just calling myself Asexual for lack of a better word or identity. There is a lot more to it than this but I really don't feel like stating every tiny symptom. I also took the AQ test and got a very high score. A few of my family members also feel that I am an aspie as well as a close friend with a psychology major. Sigh... Why can't my mom see it? I NEED HELP. I want to live a better life and maybe resolve some of these issues with therapy or something. I don't know, I just want to fix myself. It's really stressful and causes much depression for me.

When i was younger I used to go to my mom once every couple months telling her different things like the status of my sexuality, my social anxieties, or my gender issues, I guess she got tired of hearing it and just decided I was confused. YES I AM confused and I'd appreciate it if I could finally find somebody who may know where I am coming from and help me settle these issues once and for all.

Any advice?

Um... am I reading your profile correctly that you're 33 years old?

I can't imagine why your mother would have any say in this decision.

Are you legally an adult dependent? As in, your disability is such that you are not able to consent to your own medical treatment?

Getting out there and getting your own test might be a very empowering decision. Or you could declare your independence from the medical establishment and simply decide that that this label benefits you. As they say in Jersey, "I'm just sayin'..."

I'm legally blind and she helps me with transportation as well as daily living. I live in an apartment above her home. I can't really go anywhere on my own and I've done about all I can do on my own. I asked her for a ride to an appointment but she refused.

I pay bills and am pretty self reliant in all aspects asside from transportation and I occasionally require assistance in dusting and deep cleaning my house. As for general upkeep and chores, I do them all fine.

Well, that makes it more understandable.

But you still have legal rights as an adult. As a blind person, you should be able to get help with further evaluation of your disability status from the state. Are you on medicaid? That is a potential source of funding for your autism testing.

My advice would be to get on the phone and arrange the testing yourself. This could be of significant benefit for you. There are way more resources out there for autistic people than for blind people.

What happens if your Mom dies? Does she have a plan? How will you survive if you have to live without her? If you test positive for developmental disabilities, you are in a much better place to get assistance if anything happens to her.

There are social services that provide transportation to medical appointments. But I wonder if your mother would be more agreeable to drive you if you had it all set up and it was clear that you are intent on going. The logic and practicality of the matter is clear.

It all seems like a good way to metaphorically take the reigns of your life. But as you are thinking about getting evaluated, you may want to talk to a disabilities advocate about the advice I'm giving you here. I have some expertise in helping autism, but limited experience with the blind community. There might be special rules that apply which you need to know about. The point is that this is worth the effort to figure out how to do on your own.

I do have to wonder if some of your symptoms could be a manifestation of the frustrations of living blind in a sighted world. For example, its harder to learn social skills when you literally can't see body language. I don't mean to be discouraging. I just want to be balanced.

If you need more help figuring out how to get help, let me know. I seem to have developed a need for these boards over the last week or so and I've been here quite a bit. Understanding myself as an autistic person has really opened my eyes to some things about myself and my past these last few days. I guess its a case of correct timing. I've known I'm spectrum-esque for a long time, but I never spent enough time on that thought to get any juice out of it.

Wait. I think I misread your last post. Sorry. Been online too long.

My advice probably doesn't apply as you seem to be a lot more independent than I thought. Everything except the transportation services to medical appointments. That exists in most states. If you live in Vermont, I can even tell you how to get them. I used to live there.

Thanks for all your imput. I am sighted, but my sight is bad enough to be considered blind by the state. I also rely on my other senses a lot. As for body language, I can see people if they are close to me, I just cannot see things that are far away. Peoples facial expressions and body language sometimes confuse me though. As for government assistance and Medicaid, I have those. I also have medicare off of my moms. I live in Oklahoma and all we have is the lift for transportation. The lift is not always on time though so it can be hard to get a ride for appointments. I will try my best to take care of it though. ^_^ I am also working on getting a job. Its very hard for the visually impaired here.... I've been turned down by almost everyone with the statement *you are a liability* sigh. It gets me down.

I can imagine! Or rather, I can't really. Driving is out of the question, I assume? lol

You just need to find a job that pays enough for a hired driver. Easy!

You would need a very specific job with all of those qualifications. Aspies are so known for their desire to be independent, and it seem to me that having sight issues would really make that more difficult. It also cuts down on the costumer service, just talking people down and not really needing to count change or do anything visually orientated, jobs. We aspies can do jobs with people though. I'm an acupuncturist. I interact with people all day long, but I do so one at a time, so I can handle it.

Did you know that blind people are reputed in Asia to be gifted in energy work like acupuncture? Its a real thing. They think there is some mystical power to blind people that lets them move the chi better. And it is true, from a certain point of view. Relying on senses like smell and hearing allow them to make diagnosis in ways that sighted people struggle to do. And when they look for the acupuncture point, their highly trained sense of touch assists in needling well.

Well, I was in college for animation but some bad family stuff went down and I was in a bad depression on and off for nearly a year. I plan on going back soon. I want to do something where my gifts can be used. I love every kind of animation from the old style to the 3D video games. I also draw and do crafts. I like doing anything with my hands as well as my mind. I have a knack for memorizing pictures in my head and being able to visualize things as if they were right in front of me. Customer service.... eh. I tried it before. I am not a people person at all.

And yes, driving is out of the question. I have an ID but it clearly states *Not a license to drive* on it. xD yea I'm not allowed to drive.

It could very well be that you have both ADD and AS. That is more common than you think to have multiple things present. My sister is both ADD and OCD for example. I wish you luck in getting your mother to understand, it can be hard for parents to accept things sometimes. I had to sit down with a list of AS symptoms with my mother to explain why I fit where I do. She just thought I was always a bit odd, but nothing more. So, it is natural for parents to not accept that their kids are "different" than others.

As for being blind, never let that stop you from doing what you want. I once taught a blind undergraduate student general chemistry laboratory techniques because it was a requirement for his major in paleontology. He had to be able to analyze the minerals within the fossils. We had to make some accommodations due to his limited sight condition and he did have a good lab partner who could help him when needed. He is within a year of graduating with his degree and then off to grad school. Many people sold him short because of his sight, I told them that they were the one with the vision problem, as he could clearly see what he wanted to do with his future. My job was to help him in the road to getting there the best that I could. I wish you luck in whatever road you decide to take in life and remember you are the one that decides which route to take to get there from here.

Um, taxi?

About the taxi thing, That's not really possible. We don't have the money.

Plus, people take advantage of my sight issues. I've had cab drivers rip me off in the past, as well as say horrible things to me like I don't matter because I am a disabled citizen. Its no my fault I was born this way.