Just diagnosed with ASD

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Hi everyone,
I just got my diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder this week, at the ripe old age of 49 (never too late, I guess). I started researching this nine months ago, when a friend of mine whose daughter had ASD posted a link on her Facebook page. The link was to a quiz, and it blew me away how many of these things applied to me. I had been chuckling to myself about things that this girl did that reminded me of me at her age... and now I knew why.

My feelings are really still a jumble right now...
- Hope that I can find ways to cope
- Happiness (hey, I'm not crazy!)
- Sadness over failed friendships and flunking out of grad school
- A little shame (that I haven't always treated people as well as I should, especially my wife)
- Just overwhelmed--I'd come to believe I was on the spectrum for months, but the diagnosis makes it more REAL somehow

It also confirmed that I am lousy at predicting what people will do--I was certain the doctor didn't think I had ASD and wasn't going to help. I thought she was dismissive and I totally misread her.

I want to thank everyone for their great posts and answering my questions. There were so many things that I had never realized were a part of the spectrum. I'd always thought I was kind of nuts and broken. You really gave me hope.

Hi there - I'm 42 and diagnosed a couple of months ago.

I get the I'm not crazy - that's a relief right?

It's the weirdest feeling when one first twigs that Aspergers fits - it felt such a relief but I feel a bit flat post diagnosis.... "What now?"

...So , official DXs have different " levels " , you saying you were DX'd as " moderate " ?
You in the UK ?

no, I'm in the US, so we are working from the DSM-V. She used the ADOS-IV to generate the score: Social awareness: 58 (normal range), Social cognition: 74 (moderate), Social communication: 71 (moderate), Social motivation: 79 (severe), Restricted interests and repetitive behavior: 68 (moderate). Total score: 73 (moderate).

She highlighted reciprocal social behavior as being one of the more severe issues, which surprised me because I consciously try NOT to be one of those people that dominate the conversation and show no interest in what someone else is saying. I guess I didn't do as well as I thought.

I was surprised that I wound up with as high a score as I did (3 points above severe total score!). I figured I'd be mildly ASD or on the border of ASD and not having it, but the social thing is REALLY a challenge. I often find myself racking my brains trying to think of something to say when chatting with a friend or co-worker. I'm fine talking about work, but draw a blank if we talk about personal issues.

Congratulations on finally finding your "why"! Everything you're feeling post-diagnosis is totally normal--just ask your fellow WP aspies. Wrong Planet is an invaluable community, I've found, and I'm glad you agree.

I think this kind of surprise is probably very common in late diagnoses. I was certainly shocked by the things that came out in mine.


This sounds like a feeling I know only too well. In order to avoid this, I tend to avoid meals with co-workers.

I have noticed that as the intense initial reaction to diagnosis has worn off, some unsettled emotions came in, mostly in the form of unexpected moments of profound sadness and some very troubled dreams. I wonder if you will experience anything similar.

In any case, congratulation on your self-discovery and growth in understanding.

Last edited by Adamantium on 18 Aug 2015, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Me too. I was diagnosed at 38 in 2007 and still have troubling dreams of childhood and past relationships.
And I've been reconciling my struggles in life now that I know what caused them.
But I am struggling with self identity problems. I spent so many years trying to live up to everyone's "there's nothing wrong with you."

How much have you all told family and friends, and how did you go about it? I've told two friends, who were very nice and accepting, but I'm unsure how to tell my family. I've got a fairly complicated relationship with them: I know they love me, but we've also have had some colossal fights too, along the "why can't you just act normal" lines. My mom thinks of me as very smart but rather different. She doesn't seem to take change or surprises too well (she was furious when I changed my major from biology to art). My brother converted to Catholicism a few years ago and now disapproves of me being gay (even though I was out BEFORE he converted), so now he's a bit huffy toward me, even though he was the wild teen doing drugs and having to be bailed out by my parents, while I was the good student.

Well, you don't have to tell your parents. Do what's best for you, not them. If you think they will give you grief, don't tell them. Or...wait, bide your time until an opportune moment occurs.

The problem is... I have no idea how they will react. I am very bad at predicting people's reactions to what I say or do. I want to tell my Mom and brother (Dad's dead), but I don't know if they will be supportive, disbelieving, angry, or what. I want to tell them so they understand me better, and because I hate secrets. I don't know if this will help them or not, but I would think that understanding my quirks and why I do the things I do will help us be closer. I think it will help them know that I sometimes hurt their feelings because I am clueless, not because I want to piss them off, and that I dislike doing certain things because they make me ill or hurt, not because I want to be the center of attention.

When my wife read the description for Asperger's syndrome, it helped her a lot by explaining how my mind works, and why I can be so smart with some things and really struggle with other things. I am hoping for a result like that with Mom and Brother, but we have so much more history (some good, some bad).

I haven't told anyone other than my husband and oldest child (14) - I did talk about possibly going for a diagnosis with 2 friends but neither have asked since so I've not mentioned it. I don't think they get it, as in you seem normal or, I do that too (roll eyes!)

Not told work but I have said things that explain me and how I might want to do something a certain way but not used the A word

At first I was bursting to tell but the longer I wait the more I feel that it was right not to tell