NTs don't take our disorder seriously

Post Reply New Topic

NT1: "You should go out and socialize!"
Me:" I can't. I have Asperger's syndrome."
NT1: "Why is that a problem?"

NT2: "What's stopping you from making friends?"
Me: "I have Asperger's syndrome."
NT2: "Don't take that into consideration. Just go out and make friends!"

NT3: "You're not autistic, you're just stupid!"

NT4: "Stop being autistic! Be normal!"
Me: "I am not normal."
NT4: "You can be normal!"
Me: "No, I can't! You should read the Wikipedia article on Asperger's syndrome."
NT4: "Screw their stupid theories! Just be normal and act naturally!"
Me: "Please leave me alone."
NT4: "You should kill yourself."

Most NTs think that aspies are just introverted geniuses or stupid ret*ds. Many people get mislabeled with Asperger's syndrome, such as Einstein, Edison, Putin, Gates etc.

Telling an aspie to socialize is like telling a paraplegic to get off his wheelchair and walk.

It seems most don't take it seriously as a disability, advice usually comes off sounding like Shia LaBeouf screaming "just do it already" at you



We can improve our situations tho, we have to be able to or else what other options are there?

As for those NTs,
I don't take them seriously.
Not worth my time.

...

Historical figures who are suspected to have Autism had disabilities as well as genius. For example, Einstein had repetitive speech until age 7 and his academic speeches made no sense. Newton had delayed speech, if no one showed up to his lectures he'd just lecture to an empty room, and he had a mental breakdown at age 50.

Having Autism is a gift and a disability for all who have it.

Indeed. I like to see AS and the hole of the Autism Spectrum as a condition rather than a disorder, but that is a different matter all together.

Though it would be unfair to tarnish every NT has being the same, the amount of times I've heard stupidity and outright ignorance from NTs really astounds me to the point where it just becomes expected now. I have to come prepared with a set of answers to some of the most awkward thinks that NTs say. And they say we are socially awkward?! One of these statements being;

NT: But you don't look autistic.
ME: I didn't know being autistic had a look to it. Perhaps you could elaborate?
NT: Well you don't do the hole, flapping hands things that people with autism do.
ME: You mean stimming?
NT: What's that?
ME: Stimming is use of repetitive behaviour that use autistic's use to deal with difficult situations like social interaction and sensory processing problems. Hand flapping is a very common stim and I use hand flapping as one of many stims.
NT: Don't do that! It gets in the way of you making friends!
ME: Why? I don't understand. Am I harming you in anyway? No. So what's the problem? I don't makes friends because I want to fit in with the crowd and be what society calls "cool". I want to make friends who are going to love and embrace me who I am. If you or these friends that you want me to socialise with, have a problem with me stimming then you all have a problem with me being autistic. This reminds me of the time when my old therapist...

(NT leaves at this point)

They may be ignorant but they're not all wrong.

Being autistic doesn't mean you can't make friends or do things NTs can we just do them at a different pace or in a different way than NTs.

I think as autistic people we SHOULD go out and do our best instead of just using it as an excuse not to do something.


I am autistic, and for years I had a great deal of trouble making and keeping friends, now I have a whole group of friends, true most of my friends are autistic but they're friends non the less, I can shower, brush my teeth, clip my nails and wear clothes on my own now, and I can even venture out of my comfort zone ( just not too far out)

NT: why don't you make some friends?
Me: making friends is difficult and takes a lot of energy, I will in time just not right now.

?

My mother, who has been in denial about me having AS since I was diagnosed with it at 13, always acts like my AS isn't real and that denying the existence of ASDs is her right.

My sister also does the same, even though I think she herself is an Aspie. However, getting my sister to get testing for AS would be like getting someone who hates the physically disabled tested for physical disabilities in his/her system.

We often show great intelligence and ability, and then we surprise and disappoint everybody by failing to follow apparently easy instructions, so they think we're not really trying. We often fail to pick up on people's feelings, we don't think of them without being told to, we're blunt and brutally honest, and we duck out of social events, so in the eyes of a neurotypical, we don't care. We often seem to want to spend all our time playing around with our funny little homespun hobbies instead of holding down jobs and contributing something, so they think we're just interested in an easy life at their expense. Sometimes we do the very things we claim we can't do, for a short time, so they think we're just malingering, they can't see the huge effort we've put in, or the stress and fatigue it costs us. We might get really angry about somebody telling a "trivial white lie," or expect tedious attention to detail, so they think we're aloof. We don't look them in the eye, so they think we're dishonest. We don't automatically muck in when it's "obvious" that they need help, we just sit there as if we don't know what to do. We don't follow the herd, we stand out as different, we don't reassure them by taking part in their rituals, we do things that are "just not done" and we don't do things that "you have to do."

Even if they understood autism in depth, it would be hard for a lot of NTs to like us much or to afford us the same status as other NTs. It's so much easier for them to deal with their own kind who speak the same language and share the same ways. But mostly they DON'T understand autism in depth. Autism is so complicated that to understand it, a lay person would need to invest time and effort comparable to a degree course. Why go to all that trouble for somebody you don't even like? And given that 50% of the population has a lower-than-average intelligence, are many of them even capable of understanding it?

To me, the really surprising thing is that some NTs do take us seriously.

For ages I used to believe about myself that I must try harder and that it's only because I'm lazy that I didn't have friends.

Not true though. Aspergers is a disability because you still have trouble even if you get very good at mimicking. Even if you become the best actor/actress you still have it.