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I don't want to repeat my previous message here, so I decided to mention it here - I cannot paste URL here, it's under "General Discussion > Getting to know each other" and it's called "Message from Brazil". Sure I can give you more details if you ask me, but I would only like to know if my story makes sense to you - do you think my story has to do with an Asperger lifespan? If not, please tell me why.

I still feel so reluctant to accept it was my story, it all happened to me, everything around it. Sorry I don't want to transform this topic into a public outflow, but I have so many questions. Please help.

I cannot find your other post "message from Brazil" on the forum. Could you copy and paste that message into a reply in this post?

Copying and pasting it. See below.

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Hi there,

first of all I am still reluctant, didn't want to present me because I am too shy to talk about my diagnosis, but I guess here I can find some comfort, solidarity and support.

My name is Franklin (I am brazilian with an english name) and I had a long time (13 years) suspiction of identification with Asperger autism. I don't want to write an enormous public outflow about my entire life, but at this moment it's enough to say I had a very turbulent and complicated life since early childhood. Being able to write and read since 2 years old, I was heavily bullied by colleagues - which doesn't mean my childhood was only bad, given that I have some good memories of that period.

Almost all my personal relationships (girlfriends) were complicated. Also, people disturbing and chasing me - for reasons that are still unclear to me, one man spent 5 years following my steps, punching me and kicking me, and threatening me to death -, having fun and taking advantage of what seemed to be my naivety, how difficult it was for me to fully understand what was going on, how slow I was to realize bad intentions of some people around me, termination of employment for reasons which oftenly sounded ridiculous (and, in most situations, in fact they were), among so many things that are hard to talk about without feeling nervous or even crying in front of my computer.

Some years ago, a girlfriend I had caused me a nervous breakdown which led me to collapse. Since then, I've been lonely, mainly working and studying.

2 years ago I met a physician who diagnosed me with Asperger. It was a mixture of different feelings, both bad (as it is a stigma) and good (it explains a lot what happened to me). Now I have good support from family, healthcare and some friends, but I don't like to talk about it except in some few circumstances. I guess my story makes sense to you.

Please notice I will not come up here very often, but anyway I am glad to be part of this site and meet you all.

So your question whether your life sounds like an Aspie's life, I certainly don't see why not. I heard some well-known autism researcher (Cohen or maybe Attwood, I'm not sure.). He said "if you've seen one person with Aspergers, you've seen one person with Aspergers." If the language nuance is making the meaning unclear, it's a play on words. There's a phrase that says "if you've seen one, you've seen them all." His statement was that if you've seen one, do not think you've seen them all, we are all unique. So you're story is one more unique story from one more unique Aspergian!

Interesting answer. Each one deals with their condition their own way.

I'm still struggling to accept my diagnosis, although I must confess my resistance is not as strong as it was before. There's a mixture of ideas in my mind... I don't want to use my diagnosis as an excuse for when I commit errors, I want to have a normal life and be seen as normal as much as possible but 1) if I hide my condition, people always notice something "wrong" with me; but 2) if I disclose my condition, people begin dealing differently with me, with a little bit of pity and sadness, and that's something I don't want, because I want to live normally, with no special treatment from anyone, even knowing this will not happen.

One thing I haven't forgotten after some years, is a physician who became surprised, then angry, and later shouted and laughed - just because I asked him about the possibility of being diagnosed with Asperger (maybe because he was used to work with children, but this does not mean his behavior was "right"). I was making a question, not asking him a favour. Years passed, I met another physician, he had other point of view, years passed and he says he has no doubt on his diagnosis. I always seek him for medical support, his treatment is much better and more considerate.

At this moment I prefer not to publicly disclose my condition to most of friends, family, or people who simply knows me. I want to be seen as normal as much as possible, even knowing that I will be seen as "strange" and be shunned by others.