Dad forcing me to act "normal"

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I feel like my dad is blaming me for a lot of things that arent my fault and is nagging me for a lot of things that are actually my sisters fault. He also says that i have to hug people because "it seems more normal" and when i actually hug someone (or technically they hug me) and i dont "hug back" he looks at me very disapprovingly. Note: right now i dont have a diagnosis of social difficulties (had one but it was removed cause i changed doctors and the doctor i changed to was not so good), but i feel like i am being forced to hug people and go to social gatherings and i have to act "normal".

Sounds like your dad is just being a scumbag. Do you have a mother you can talk to about those problems? I don't know how old your sisters are, but, if they are really nice to you, you should also talk to them about your issues with your dad and maybe give you support. And as long you are a good person, what's so great about being "normal"?

Tell your dad that acting "normal" is uncomfortable for you. Maybe you can compromise and agree to act normal when it's really important, but not all the time.

I don't think he is being a scumbag.

It is important to try to fit in and unless hugging gives you pain it's best to persevere. I suspect your Dad has good intentions.

I don't like hugging - even my children sometimes - but i do it and hug back because to do otherwise would be hurtful.

I totally sympathise - I hate family gatherings where there's hugging all round but I just get on with it. Stiff upper lip (I am sadly British!)

Your Dad is not a scumbag. He's probably trying to protect you in his own little way.

Parents do odd things sometimes, we don't get given a book of rights and wrongs.

Just tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I hate hugging as well.

My old man would bellow at me whenever I wasn't acting "normal".
When I honestly asked what normal was in a particular instance (how else would I have known) he'd bellow at me some more about common sense.
There was no going to my mother since she was merely his robot with no mind (or soul) of her own and would only parrot whatever he said.

Here's an idea-

With regards to the hugging, maybe you could ask your father "Do you want me to just go thru the motions and make you and others happy, even if it makes me feel really uncomfortable?"

You might also mention that while the current doctor doesn't seem to agree that you're on the autism spectrum, the problems you had before are still there, and you need the family to understand that.

Did your parents go "doctor shopping" until they found a doctor who'd say you weren't autistic?

Snowy Owl, I grew up in a family where conformity and social perfection was strictly both emotionally and physically enforced. When there's not a conflict going on, talk to your father. Slowly educate him about what it really means to have sensory issues, to be on the spectrum, etc.. Try to find compromises that both of you can agree on, if he is willing. If you have a mom or another dad, see if they can help. If not, maybe another adult relative you trust? And if the conversation does happen, definitely request a different doctor if this one is not helping make your life fit you better.

A social advocate can be a family member, a friend or even a person assigned to you from a social services organization who is there to make sure that your wishes and needs are being met when possible.

For example, I make doctor's appointments and talk to people on the phone about our bills for my husband. He just signs a paper giving me authority to speak for him, he tells me what he wants and then I talk to the people and set things up for him. Kind of like a secretary.

I do agree that you should suck it up and hug people when you can, only in important situations. Not doing it can cause emotional damage for neurotypicals and kids. But for like saying hi and bye to people you see all the time you can cut off a hug by, say, smiling at them, saying your hellos or goodbyes and then physically moving away from them while talking or asking them a question. Older aspies have done this to me, and I admit that I am an unconscious hugger. It's never hurt my feelings when people just keep talking, smiling, and move away from me.

People can't enforce hugs on other people. It's ridiculous. I would tell your dad that you'll try harder on special occasions but you're not a hugger in general situations and to let it go. It's not a big deal.