Why are kids with autism easy targets for bullies?

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Aspie202
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06 Sep 2015, 9:19 am

I've read in some articles that kids with autism are easy targets for bullies. Anyone know why?


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Ben_Is_My_Only_God
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06 Sep 2015, 9:43 am

Probably because autistic kids stand out as being different from the crowd and also because autistic kids tend to be loners, without a supporting network of friends who would step in to protect them.


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06 Sep 2015, 10:29 am

Several reasons:

* we're different, and different tends to be seen as bad

* we have more trouble making friends, so less likely to have someone to stand up for us (having at least one friend in the same class greatly reduces risk of bullying and severity of bullying if it occurs)

* we're not generally visibly disabled, so bullying us doesn't bring the same negative judgement that bullying, say, a Down Syndrome kid would

* our behaviour can sometimes be annoying to neurotypical kids, especially if they don't understand autism



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06 Sep 2015, 10:38 am

What 'Ben Is My Only God' and Ettina said is absolutely true. I didn't dress like the other kids, talk like the other kids, was into the same types of music or activities like the other kids so I found solace in only being with myself. Consequently, I was pushed off bikes I'd made from scraps, made fun of because everybody listened to R & B and I was into Queen and KISS at the time, had my winter boots taken off me and thrown across the snowy street by a thug, jumped because I didn't look like the other kids, laughed at because I wore thick glasses and never seemed to have my hair styled just right, and so on. Of course, all the bullying did was make me suicidal which I eventually attempted.

When I discovered that alcohol brought me around to normal I started drinking like a fish. The world became a little bearable because I had "turned it down" - the alcohol dulled my senses. I also dumbed myself down to try to fit in, even going as far as watching those stupid sitcoms on TV. I hope that one day they find a cure for bullyism, not autism. Why should we be forced to "join the world"? Maybe they should take a closer look at ours. They might learn something.



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06 Sep 2015, 10:40 am

redrobin62 wrote:
What 'Ben Is My Only God' said is absolutely true. I didn't dress like the other kids, talk like the other kids, was into the same types of music or activities like the other kids so I found solace in only being with myself. Consequently, I was pushed off bikes I'd made from scraps, made fun of because everybody listened to R & B and I was into Queen and KISS at the time, had my winter boots taken off me and thrown across the snowy street by a thug, jumped because I didn't look like the other kids, laughed at because I wore thick glasses and never seemed to have my hair styled just right, and so on. Of course, all the bullying did was make me suicidal which I eventually attempted.

When I discovered that alcohol brought me around to normal I started drinking like a fish. The world became a little bearable because I had "turned it down" - the alcohol dulled my senses. I also dumbed myself down to try to fit in, even going as far as watching those stupid sitcoms on TV. I hope that one day they find a cure for bullyism, not autism. Why should we be forced to "join the world"? Maybe they should take a closer look at ours. They might learn something.


I also was different. In our old town, every kid there was a crazy basketball fanatic while i would watch them. I didn't really talk like them, socialize with them, or even play with them. It probably seemed very weird to the other kids. I don't remember if this was true or not, but while I was sitting on the curb one day, one kid asked me "why don't you ever play basketball?". Yeah, I was very different


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06 Sep 2015, 10:50 am

Just ones I can think of:

- Can be naive and too trusting of "friends" - easy to be manipulated
- Unable to explain what happened and may actually get the blame - get a bad reputation so kids can twist the blame for anything onto them
- Has nobody to defend them - no friends, which for others will protect and defend their friend if anyone tries anything. A person on their own is an easy target, autistic or not.
- Has more obvious things to be picked on for - can be an easy target. Any odd behavior will get mocked.



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06 Sep 2015, 12:27 pm

redrobin62 wrote:
I hope that one day they find a cure for bullyism, not autism.


I hope too.



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06 Sep 2015, 12:33 pm

We can come off as a bully, for example, we say something that might be considered mean so the other kids might think we are mean

We are naive and if we are a copycat, we might copy the wrong behaviors other kids have done thinking it's okay because we don't know the social cues so that might make us come off as a bully and mean

Stims might be annoying for other kids so they may believe we are doing it to annoy them

Kids are mean in general and closed minded and judgmental so anything different like odd body posture, how someone dresses, tone of voice, outside interests, very naive, kids might pick on you for it

Sensory issues, kids might think we are exaggerating and doing it for attention and to be manipulative so they may start giving us a hard time about it


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06 Sep 2015, 12:58 pm

All the above posts are correct. Yet the question can be summed up in one short phrase: because they are vulnerable.

Not inferior, not weak, not weird, not obnoxious etc ... Simply vulnerable.

Bullies have an innate instinct that allows them to spot anyone who is vulnerable.



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07 Sep 2015, 4:33 pm

NT students mostly think we are odd and weird. We stim often, unlike the NTs, we do WAY different hobbies than the NTs, we dress differently than the NTs, we listen to different music than the NTs do, we don't have the circle of friends like the NTs, etc etc etc.
It's sad, and it doesn't matter how many anti-bullying assemblies, seminars and news reports there are, bullying is here to stay for a long time in schools and other public places. Especially to ASD kids and teens.



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08 Sep 2015, 2:37 pm

If you stand out, much like a sore thumb then you are going to be easily spotted. Kids ( and some adults too) seem to partake in hive mind mentality, they come to despise anything that is relatively different to them. And in turn, they will ostracize and isolate the said anomaly. We, autistic people are the anomaly. Hell, if you're socially awkward you are the anomalous result among the monolith... It ain't going to be an easy ride. :(


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08 Sep 2015, 2:51 pm

DestinedToBeAPotato wrote:
If you stand out, much like a sore thumb then you are going to be easily spotted. Kids ( and some adults too) seem to partake in hive mind mentality, they come to despise anything that is relatively different to them.


As you get older you'll find that adults, in many cases, are actually worse than kids. It's something that people never grow out of, they merely get better at disguising it or use more subversive tactics to act upon it.



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08 Sep 2015, 2:59 pm

Ben_Is_My_Only_God wrote:
Probably because autistic kids stand out as being different from the crowd and also because autistic kids tend to be loners, without a supporting network of friends who would step in to protect them.


This^.
Not to mention there is not a lot of stuff taught in school about how you should treat others....in my experience it even seems sometimes the teachers encouraged bullying or would help to single me out so I'd be a more visible target. There is a mentality of having to be 'popular' or 'the best' so people that don't really fit in, or aren't trying to be better than the next person and don't play a lot of those games can have a rougher time. I know once when I was a kid some girls told me they were only mean to me because they didn't want to get made fun of too and thus loose their popularity. Maybe if some of this was discouraged a little bit it would help, but if anything schools seem to perpetuate the whole social darwanism thing. A lot of times the 'popular' people are sort of a privileged class of students like teachers and staff cater to them at all times, make exceptions for them and such..at least that is how my highschool was I heard since I graduated it got even worse in that sense.

But its all good cause they passed 'anti-bullying' and 'no tolerance policies'....which serve to stigmatize and single out people who endure a lot of bullying. Basically that means bullies can subtly bully their victim repeatedly day after day then when their victim finally tries to retaliate after probably getting no help from teachers or having it laughed off by them who gets in trouble? Probably the bully victim who finally retaliated but of course they wont listen to excuses of 'they wouldn't leave me alone and no one would do anything'. Seriously this stuff is flawed


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08 Sep 2015, 3:06 pm

Often it's because teachers don't understand them and teach and model acceptance for the other kids.



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08 Sep 2015, 3:17 pm

It's not just that we stand out visually, but bullies like to "play" us for our reactions, like puppets.
I was constantly being "toyed" with by the other kids.

To bullies, vulnerable is the bait, and the autistic reaction is their food.

But really they are scared, because they know we can think circles around them :wink:

As I got older I started to turn it around and play with the bullys heads.
Probably not very nice, it just pissed them off more.
Nobody likes to get punched in their mind.

I'd set up logical inconsistencies in their head on purpose and watch them short circuit.

I was chased home every day in 8th & 9th grade.

But enough of the grudges now, I need to let bygones be bygones.
Bullies are stupid, and they are not going away, some people are just like that.
Many Bullies are just other autistics too, they just don't know it.

I'm sure we can find a number of autistic bullies around here.
When someone is bullied, they sometimes become one in some way, maybe not physically, but sometimes a hurt person will seek ignorant revenge.


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08 Sep 2015, 3:23 pm

pete106 wrote:
When someone is bullied, they sometimes become one in some way, maybe not physically, but sometimes a hurt person will seek ignorant revenge.


And sometimes they decide they don't want to treat others that way because they know how much it hurt them.


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