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Owl68
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07 Sep 2015, 4:58 pm

My parents want me to move into a group home. I do not WANT to live in a group home and don't know what they're like. Does anyone have experience either working in or living in one?

I am not group-oriented. Who got the idea that disabled people all want to live lumped together? I prefer quiet and solitude.

The idea of having staff running the house bothers me. I'd like to have my own place, with my own rules.

This one isn't going to be fair, but it is what it is. I don't want to live with people who have global cognitive impairments/Down's Syndrome/clinically low intelligence/behavior problems.

To say nothing of the money the home takes and leave you with a "comfort allowance" of, I believe it was, less than $200 a month. I want to be a contributing member of society. Not at a dead end with no way out.



starfox
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07 Sep 2015, 5:14 pm

Hmm would it be possible for you to move to another area and start your own life? Do you have income?

If you think you can't do that; why not? Perhaps I can work put what can be done. :) you shouldn't be forced into a go up home if you don't want to be there. I'd tr not to get placed in one as getting out again will become difficult a bit like a prison.

Do what is right for you. Prove you can take care of yourself. Don't let people hold you back even though they mean well.


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2wheels4ever
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07 Sep 2015, 11:22 pm

Your best option if you wish to remain living independently is to get in somewhere with a room to rent/ shared house. They are a lot easier to find near colleges and can usually be gotten through Craigslist. The kicker though is most people who rent rooms to normies want them to pay but not spend much time there or use the amenities, so they will usually insist on the renter having a full time job.

Trust your gut (and me) on this one: you do NOT want to live in a group home - the ones in residential neighborhoods make you share a room and you can't choose who with. Many of the other residents are extremely low functioning or fresh out of prison. The owners will take most of your money and provide the bare minimum requirements for meals and you may have to arrange your own transportation for appointments and shopping. They may not even want you hanging around during the day, the responsible homeowners in these neighborhoods often complain about lowered property values and attracting an undesirable element. I knew a handful of people who lived in nearby group homes and it didn't dawn on me until later on that there was usually a reason they were living there and not independently or able to fall back on relatives.


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Tawaki
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08 Sep 2015, 2:17 am

What is going down that your parents are forcing this on you? Why not a studio apartment? Can you live by yourself?

Parents don't usually start talking group home unless they feel there are no other options. What do you do during the day? Do you take care of yourself doing your self care?

Do you think this a threat because they view you as "doing nothing all day", amd just fight with them?

Not saying you do any of the above. You write too well to be group home material to me.

Group homes can be wonderful or snake pits. Some won't make you do damn thing, and don't care if you sit in the same clothes for a month. Others will almost force you to do self care and interact with the other residents.



Sethno
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08 Sep 2015, 4:16 am

I also wonder how old the OP is, and how old the parents are.

It's possible the parents see a future where they're concerned their child will suddenly have to deal with new circumstances at home due to the illness (or even death) of a parent, and they feel their child living in a group home will spare the child of some of the negative effects of such a change.


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Rockymtnchris
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08 Sep 2015, 4:40 am

My college varsity wrestling team used to volunteer to help Special Olympics during our off-season. A huge chunk of our athletic participants were living in the group home lifestyle. From what I saw and remember, group homes might be fine for highly EXTROVERTED residents only. I cannot imagine how anyone on the PDD spectrum would be appropriate for such places, unless they were so out of touch with their surroundings (maybe severe or profound autism) where having others around at all times might end up some sort of benefit.
As pointed out previously, I don't see where there could possibly be any privacy, especially in the types of group homes I visited. IMO I believe given the choice I would rather reside in a private hospital room with pass priveleges than in a group home setting where I would have to constantly interact with situations like MRCP and Down Syndrome every day.


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ASS-P
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08 Sep 2015, 4:52 am

...I have tended to think the below ~ and you (someone here) know my situation/background , right ? :? :(










I'd tr not to get placed in one as getting out again will become difficult a bit like a prison.



ASS-P
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15 Sep 2015, 12:57 am

...Um , what sort of hospital rooms with passes are there ?
Frankly ~ Practically speaking/" how likely it is " I mean ~ that sort of sounds like the archetypical " trying to have your cake and eat it too " .
Especially me , no money now , no nearby friend , let alone family . :cry:


Rockymtnchris wrote:
My college varsity wrestling team used to volunteer to help Special Olympics during our off-season. A huge chunk of our athletic participants were living in the group home lifestyle. From what I saw and remember, group homes might be fine for highly EXTROVERTED residents only. I cannot imagine how anyone on the PDD spectrum would be appropriate for such places, unless they were so out of touch with their surroundings (maybe severe or profound autism) where having others around at all times might end up some sort of benefit.
As pointed out previously, I don't see where there could possibly be any privacy, especially in the types of group homes I visited. IMO I believe given the choice I would rather reside in a private hospital room with pass priveleges than in a group home setting where I would have to constantly interact with situations like MRCP and Down Syndrome every day.



Rockymtnchris
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15 Sep 2015, 4:18 am

Rehabilitation hospitals are good examples of "private room with in/out priveleges". I've worked at a few in the past.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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15 Sep 2015, 6:16 pm

My mother has threatened to send me to a group home because she refuses to
come to terms with her own anger issues.


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Girl_Kitten
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15 Sep 2015, 7:26 pm

I was in a group home for a week when I was 13. I was miserable. No one was allowed to touch each other, at all. Another girl and I weren't even allowed to braid each others' hair. I am undiagnosed Autistic (I was in the group home for other mental health issues and no one knew much about Asperger's in my rural area at the time), so they didn't know about my sensory needs and tried to feed me food that I couldn't eat. Everything I did was scrutinized and I was trapped. It was an awful, traumatizing experience.