Doubting if I'm autistic

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Over the last 18 months I've been doubting if I'm autistic because I have good social skills in real life and quite a few friends. I was diagnosed when I was 10 but not told until I was 17 and I've never received an official explanation of my diagnosis. I was set up and humiliated in secondary school due to not understanding other people's intentions and I have struggled with mental health issues because of that. I'm going to meet with my GP in two weeks' time so that he can explain my diagnosis to me. My carers have all said words to the effect that I have mild Asperger's and my parents have said that when I was first diagnosed the doctor said "It might be [Asperger's syndrome] or it might not" although that was in 1995 when far less was known about autism. I'm just worried about whether I fit the diagnostic criteria for being autistic and if I have tried to change myself into something I originally wasn't. Sorry for the rambling post, I'm just a bit worried and wondering if anyone has any advice on what I should do.

As a side note my neurodiverse score was 98 out of 200 and my neurotypical score was 112 out of 200.

I understand your concerns.

What really matters is how you adjust to your environment--whether you're autistic or not. There are people with an "autistic mindset" who succeed quite well. They might come up with twists on things which "neurotypicals" would be unable to conceive.

If you are diagnosed with autism, I hope you don't use it to create for yourself negative self-fulfilling prophecies--owing to the notion that relatively few autistic people hold jobs, have satisfactory relationships, or become independent. Don't let the autism rule you; you have to rule the autism.

If you are not diagnosed with autism, don't be disappointed. Just live your life to the best of your ability. Do well in your courses. Seek to be independent.

Those online tests you referred to are "screening tools" at best. They might offer a general idea--but they fall far short of an actual diagnosis.

Thanks a lot kraftiekortie. That's good and sensible advice that I will follow. Take care, have a good day

Yes I will.

Sometimes I doubt as well. I have recently talked with some counselors about my social skills. Some of those traits are very unusual for an autistic and more NT like. I am social, and for an autistic very social. I can listen and communicate very well, they say.

I may be a bit like Raun Kaufman, but most of the time I am definitely autistic, depite of my communicative skills.

I can sort of relate to this, however, in my case, I was not diagnosed when I was younger- I'm in the process of getting a diagnosis now at 19 years old. I do definitely relate to the feelings of doubt, but at the same time, I also have overwhelming belief that I do have Aspergers. It switches almost every week- one week I feel like there's no way I'm on the spectrum, and the next week I feel like there's no way I 'couldn't' be on the spectrum. It's an odd feeling. It feels good that I'm getting the diagnosis though, and I'm sure it will put my mind at ease.

For that reason, maybe you should get reassessed? It might help you to come to terms with the results. Or if you can't do that, read into it more and find out where you do or don't fit into the diagnostic criteria for the time being. What difficulties do you still face, if any? Do you have obsessive interests? Do you have sensory issues? When you are sociable, is it tiring/mentally exhausting, even if you do manage to fit in well? Because Aspergers/Autism Spectrum Disorder doesn't mean that you can't learn to socialise, it just takes a lot more effort and can be tiring. Ask yourself questions like that and get a better understanding of yourself, and if you feel that you don't fit the description, look more into a reassessment if it's not a label you want to be associated with.

Well I've seen my GP and he says that my main Asperger's trait is difficulty with theory of mind, that is understanding where others are coming from and their intentions. He says that my difficulties socialising come from this. One thing my doctor was keen to stress was that I have worked hard to work around these difficulties and that is why I have good social skills and friends. He also said that I need things in conversation to be explicit and not implicit because I tend to ask people if I have upset them when I talk to them.

My doctor also said that I use reasoning and not intuition to work out what people are thinking or by asking them. He said that my interest in sci fi and anime could be a trait of Asperger's, and so could my memory. I told him that when I was part of a theatre group I was able to remember large chunks of the script and prompt the other cast members and he said this could be an Asperger's trait. My doctor has said that he will send me a letter with my diagnosis in it but that's my diagnosis for now.

My doctor said that the diagnosis was based on what he has observed in me, although when I'm alone in my flat I tend to verbally stim and I still rock back and forth when sitting if I'm stressed or anxious. I used to stim loads when I was a child by clapping my hands. I think this diagnosis is right, although I thought there would be more traits mentioned like the ones I've described. I guess I'm happy about this and I feel a lot more comfortable in myself.