Page 1 of 1 [ 15 posts ]
22 Aug 2018, 2:27 pm
22 Aug 2018, 2:39 pm
22 Aug 2018, 3:05 pm
22 Aug 2018, 3:53 pm
22 Aug 2018, 3:56 pm
I don't know, I get people (mostly other females) staring at me in the street and that gives me a feeling that it means they hate me in a way. Well, hate is a strong word, but I get the feeling that they're staring to judge, and they want to make me feel bad about myself by making me feel self-conscious. So consider yourself lucky that you don't get stared at by passing strangers. How do you do it? 
I have been asked for directions, but I rather not be, as I'm no good at explaining directions to people.
24 Aug 2018, 7:23 pm
24 Aug 2018, 7:45 pm
Highly_Autistic wrote:
When I go out and walk in the street, I'm being ignored. Almost nobody asks me for directions, less people look at me. Does this mean they hate me? I'm starting to think people ignore me and dont like me and I'm depressed. I saw a lot of people togather (with their friends, GFs, BFs) in the street and now I'm much more depressed. Nobody likes me.
Try asking them where to find a business, cinema or post office even if you already know how to find them. Some people might help you in kind ways, and you might eventually learn who they are (if you introduce yourself and ask their names) when you see them again. All people love being recognized. Saying "hello" to them will usually encourage them to say "hello" to you, too. In time, you could become the person in your community who everyone knows well, and likes.
24 Aug 2018, 8:43 pm
25 Aug 2018, 9:16 am
25 Aug 2018, 10:46 am
25 Aug 2018, 11:09 am
26 Aug 2018, 9:58 pm
Highly_Autistic wrote:
B19 wrote:
Highly_Autistic wrote:
When I go out and walk in the street, I'm being ignored. Almost nobody asks me for directions, less people look at me. Does this mean they hate me? I'm starting to think people ignore me and dont like me and I'm depressed. I saw a lot of people togather (with their friends, GFs, BFs) in the street and now I'm much more depressed. Nobody likes me.
I'd like to break down the various beliefs you have outlined and compare them with my own view.
When I go out and walk in the street, I'm being ignored.
When I go out in the street, I have different expectations. I don't anticipate that people will pay attention to me, I am not their business, and they are not mine.
Almost nobody asks me for directions, less people look at me.
In an era of Smartphones, GPS, Google maps, few people have any need to ask others now for directions. This is about technology, not about you as a person. As for looking, it is considered impolite to stare at strangers, in the street or elsewhere. A casual very fleeting glance is ok. You will get more fleeting glances if you are nicely turned out and walk with a confident upright posture - upright but not uptight. Keep your facial expression fairly neutral (avoid scowling or looking downcast, people will automatically look in the opposite direction).
Does this mean they hate me?
No. It may mean that you are giving out signals that are not likely to receive positive attention and/or responses.
I'm starting to think people ignore me and dont like me and I'm depressed.
You may be unaware of signalling your depression through certain body language. Slouch, scowling, creeping along, looking downcast, send powerful "leave me alone" signals to strangers, apart from predators. Practice some new behaviours with a mentor if you can, ask whoever you trust most for some feedback on how you typically present.
I saw a lot of people togather (with their friends, GFs, BFs) in the street and now I'm much more depressed. Nobody likes me.
You sound very isolated, and it is understandable that you feel inner pain about this. All of the people you envy will have periods of being alone in their lives too, so try and keep that bigger perspective in mind. Everyone is isolated and lonely sometimes. You sound isolated and lonely most of the time. Try something different. Perhaps when you see people interacting positively with others, remind yourself that you could perhaps learn new ways of getting to the same place in your life, and try to find a group or a person that can be a mentor to you and help you set little goals to create a new feeling about your street behaviour and presence.
Only you can start to change the things that are causing you pain. Doing nothing and hoping it will change is unlikely to work. I hope you have happier experiences ahead.
I'd like to break down the various beliefs you have outlined and compare them with my own view.
When I go out and walk in the street, I'm being ignored.
When I go out in the street, I have different expectations. I don't anticipate that people will pay attention to me, I am not their business, and they are not mine.
Almost nobody asks me for directions, less people look at me.
In an era of Smartphones, GPS, Google maps, few people have any need to ask others now for directions. This is about technology, not about you as a person. As for looking, it is considered impolite to stare at strangers, in the street or elsewhere. A casual very fleeting glance is ok. You will get more fleeting glances if you are nicely turned out and walk with a confident upright posture - upright but not uptight. Keep your facial expression fairly neutral (avoid scowling or looking downcast, people will automatically look in the opposite direction).
Does this mean they hate me?
No. It may mean that you are giving out signals that are not likely to receive positive attention and/or responses.
I'm starting to think people ignore me and dont like me and I'm depressed.
You may be unaware of signalling your depression through certain body language. Slouch, scowling, creeping along, looking downcast, send powerful "leave me alone" signals to strangers, apart from predators. Practice some new behaviours with a mentor if you can, ask whoever you trust most for some feedback on how you typically present.
I saw a lot of people togather (with their friends, GFs, BFs) in the street and now I'm much more depressed. Nobody likes me.
You sound very isolated, and it is understandable that you feel inner pain about this. All of the people you envy will have periods of being alone in their lives too, so try and keep that bigger perspective in mind. Everyone is isolated and lonely sometimes. You sound isolated and lonely most of the time. Try something different. Perhaps when you see people interacting positively with others, remind yourself that you could perhaps learn new ways of getting to the same place in your life, and try to find a group or a person that can be a mentor to you and help you set little goals to create a new feeling about your street behaviour and presence.
Only you can start to change the things that are causing you pain. Doing nothing and hoping it will change is unlikely to work. I hope you have happier experiences ahead.
Thanks for replies.
I'm very isolated from social life at the moment. I only talk with my family members, nobody else.
I think i'm inferior to other people. So i dont talk or interact with anyone. I also have social anxiety and aspergers syndrome. Anxiety prevents me from going out freely and i'm usually at home.
Psychiatrist prescribed some medications to change my mindset. They didnt work to be honest, now i'm desperate.
Medication will not change your mindset. It will help control the emotions associated with depression. For 98% of the people medication alone will not and cannot change this. Doctors who tell you that medication will fix what ailes you are simply wrong or lying. Those damn commercials for medication drive me nuts with their "all you need to do is take this and you'll be great" BS. It's a great disservice.
If you really want to see a change you're going to need to get help with it. You can do it alone but it's significantly more difficult and if you don't have to, why would you?
While different things will work for different people, what you may best benefit from based on what you've said is some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) which will help train you to think differently. You can ask your doctor about it or see if there are local groups which you can attend. It's work, but it's not difficult and can make a good change in the way you perceive things. It will not solve things for you, there is no cure for depression, but it can help. It helped me (in the depression aspect, I've too many other things going on
. Your perceptions are off, it will help you try and fix it. Don't feel bad or embarrassed about looking for help, if anyone thinks negatively of it, f' em.
28 Aug 2018, 11:31 am
28 Aug 2018, 12:10 pm
28 Aug 2018, 12:12 pm
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