Should I let my son "graduate" from therapy?

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My 10 year old son has come a LONG way from the challenges he faced as a 5 year old with high functioning autism. Years of ABA therapy, accommodations from his school, and numerous other therapies and interventions have done wonders. He is a successful student in a normal school who excels academically and gets along quite well with his peers.

His new 5th grade teacher recently told us she is surprised at his maturity and that he actually plays the role of mediator in group activities. He has went from being a disruptive force in Karate classes to being one of the most dedicated pupils at his Dojo, and often attends 3 or 4 classes a week (begging to go to more)!

It's hard for me to reconcile the boy people see today with the child who threw tantrums when having to sit on the floor or be exposed to stimuli he couldn't stand.

Unfortunately, all this progress has resulted in official re-assessments of his need for continued help and support. His school wonders if they should still consider him as a child who needs special accommodations and/or help. This has left me feeling a great deal of angst. I strongly believe that one of the primary reasons my son has thrived is PRECISELY because of his designation as a child who needs help. His teachers have been far more willing to do small things to accommodate his needs which has made ALL the difference (e.g. letting him sit on a chair when he was in kindergarten instead of the carpet during story time). I have seen how the teachers don't give even modest accommodations to other children who could so obviously need it.

On the other hand, I can't deny my son has made HUGE progress and overcome most of the issues he once faced, at least to the point that they don't cause him undue problems at school. I also think that the types of therapy his school is able to provide has outgrown it's usefulness. My son has mastered all the basic social skills they teach and the group discussions and activities the school therapists run (which group all the kids with disabilities together) don't offer much value anymore. My son has also made impassioned pleas that he stop having to attend these school therapy sessions. He HATES them and doesn't feel he has much in common with the other kids who are still struggling with development problems my son has now outgrown.

I would feel better about just accepting that my son no longer needs help if I didn't continue to see my son face behavioural challenges in non-school settings. He continues to struggle with unstructured environments where he interacts with other children. This isn't a problem at school because it IS a structured environment. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that my son still has problems dealing with chaotic unstructured environments.

What will happen when he leaves elementary school and goes to middle school where things are more chaotic?

Should I just stop worrying about what MIGHT happen and just be happy about the fact that my son no longer needs the kinds of intense help he once did?

Make a pact with him. He can stop going to the school therapy sessions as long as he sees a counselor outside of school once a month. This you'll probably have to arrange privately, hopefully through your insurance.

He has mastered all the challenges of primary school, but things get weird and sometimes vicious in middle and high school. It would be a tragedy to see him fall off that cliff. Remember that puberty (and hormones) have not kicked into high gear yet.

I suggest that you allow him to stop going to the school therapy sessions for kids with all disabilities.
Those seem like waste of time and singling him out for special help that he no longer needs.

I would say if he doesn't need the therapy and doesn't want to go then it's no longer useful. I would imagine if his teachers have strategies/accommodations in place that are working for him and them they won't just suddenly stop with them. Would it be possible to re-evaluate his need for support in middle school?

Well making him go to therapy classes that are of no use to him that he hates, isn't going to help with any remaining issues he may struggle with. Perhaps allow him out of that therapy and look into if there is anything more fitting for his current functioning level.

Perhaps he would benefit from some therapy geared at helping him deal with more chaotic hectic environments that could maybe teach coping techniques....or even appropriate ways to excuse yourself if you get to overwhelmed and need a minute to yourself. But yeah it sounds like he is where he wants to be socially....and feels he's made progress. I can also see how it would bother him if most other kids attending his therapy classes are much more disabled or if theres a lot of younger kids. He probably feels at this point its holding him back.

If your son hates the therapy sessions, he shouldn't be forced into going. If he feels that the sessions are holding him back, he won't be getting anything out of them. It seems to me that he needs to be a kid and do regular kid things such as play and explore interests.