"14 Things Not To Say To An Autistic Adult"

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Each of these 14 things have been cited here lots of times in discussions. It seems very commonplace in everyday life to hear one or another of the 14 articulated by an NT adult to or about an ASD adult. The speakers usually seem to have no idea that their observations are unwelcome, likely to be seen as inappropriate or ignorant or condescending, or all of these.

Here is this short blog commentary which gathers the 14 together, responding to each one from the (autistic) writer's perspective:

https://purpleaspie.wordpress.com/2014/ ... tic-adult/

Thanks for sharing, B19!

I must say this quote is rather interesting:

ugh! i get #5 all the time. it is so annoying.

Excellent article. If only more "nt" folk could read it and reduce their ignorance.

Just yesterday I got number 13, from a family member no less. Actually I think the words were '"you are just pretending to be autistic, no-one really thinks like that"

I'm lucky I guess in that I haven't got any of this said to me, but I think #5 has been assumed before.

Hehe. I got both angry and almost laughed when reading that article.


And yeah I am like Rainman.

My mom says I'm just pretending to have this Asperger's thing.
She says all these things, that I can't have it because...
...
And she hasn't even properly read about it. LOL.

And those a re the reasons why I feel I can't tell anyone about having Aspergers.

I read the list, but one thing that is not on the list but I get said to me all the time is "oh everybody feels like that." When I'm expressing how anxious I am about something at work, people just go, "we all feel like that about work." Ok sometimes it's reassuring because it makes me feel like I'm not alone, but in other ways it's annoying because I do get more anxious that the average person, so things do get to me more than others think.

Another all-time classic: "Knock it off, everyone's a little bit autistic".

Excellent article. Too bad the majority of people who are reading it are autistic themselves instead of ignorant NTs who utter such trash and need to apologize to us all.

I like that quote about not forgetting to pack your autism. I can see myself packing up my suitcase for a trip and asking myself, "Let's see, socks, underwear, toothbrush, did I forget anything? Oh yeah! My autism."

You can't expect every single person to be knowledgeable about every single thing in the world. We're all ignorant on most things. Unless you have a reason to be otherwise (e.g. interested in a particular thing, taught about a particular thing, or a particular thing is part of your job) you won't know anything about it other than maybe have picked up someone else talking about it. So when people say "oh my friend's son is autistic but you're not like him" it doesn't mean that they're dismissing that you are, it's just they're explaining the extent of their knowledge. The problem comes when people pretend to know. I think that's worse than admitting your ignorance.

I think that when people say "you don't look autistic", they think, if they are thinking at all, that an autistic person looks like they're on some other planet, with a completely blank expression and drooling on themselves while not being aware at all about what's going on around them. That is just completely wrong and ignorant.

I have heard about this "Rain Man" a number of times. I have never seen the movie, I don't plan to ever, and now that I know that the real person the character is based on wasn't autistic, I'm more disgusted with NT's than ever now.

Ha! Didn't think I'd relate to as many of those as I did.

I got number 9 (“I know an autistic person, and you don’t act like he or she does.”) from a woman who's since decided she's autistic and suddenly become "Autistic Advocate Woman!" Maybe I should send this list to her.