Am I crazy?

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I'm obsessed with the brain and how it affects our behavior and also abnormalities with it yada yada.... I sometimes can't help but figure out what my own brain is like and/or what other peoples brains are like based upon their behavior and responses that they might give to a simple question. eg. if someone displays a lack of an ability to pay attention then they likely have structural abnormalities that inhibit normal activation of the prefrontal cortex and so on or so forth.

am i crazy?

No. You should probably be a neurologist or a neuro surgeon is all.

Im analyzing everything so much. it actually allows me to become paranoid. i mean, i cant stop thinking intensely about everything. sometimes i become intoxicated just to alleviate the pain of being at work with a bunch of people and thinking too much

Having an obsessive interest in the human brain and how it affects us doesn't make someone crazy. If you think it's okay to kill innocent people because your dog told you so, that's crazy.

You just have a special interest in neurology. You should make a career out of it. I turned my interest in abnormal psychology into a career and I love it.

I think it's only concerning if it is making you unhappy or leading to destructive behavior. It sounds like you are concerned about your drinking and the need to use it as a numbing agent. You're covering up pain temporarily without dealing with the root cause--your work people situation. Can you get counseling to talk about obsessive thoughts, if that's what it feels like? You can still enjoy an interest in the brain and its workings, so long as this is not causing you distress. It's natural to wonder about the organ that is the seat of our personality, especially if you have an atypical brain, like an autistic person does.

The obsessive thoughts ive been told is treatable primarily by ssris. But they induce acute mania for me making me impulsive and naive.

That doesn't sound crazy to me. It just sounds like you have an intense interest. Many people (including NTs, I mean) have at least a passing interest in this subject - how the brain works and why it does what it does seems to be a fairly frequent topic in magazines, TV shows and the like - it is an interesting subject. You have more of a specific and intense interest, but well, if you're autistic (I don't know if you are? I don't want to assume as NTs come on this board as well), that's not unusual.

My psychiatrist said that antidepressants by themselves can induce manic episodes in people with bipolar disorder. In bipolars, antidepressants need to have something for the bipolar disorder to balance out the moods. She treats the manic episodes with Lithium and Effexor for the depression (I'm bipolar, ADD, and ASD). You might want your psychiatrist to look into this possibility. It also may just be that you need to try other meds. Some of the newer stuff like Abilify just makes me ill, and other things like Depakote just don't work. Everybody reacts differently.