Why are people proud to be aspies in light of

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K_Kelly
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03 Oct 2015, 6:36 pm

in light of all the rampage killers who were Aspies, why should I want to be proud and embrace and advocate for myself? I'm not proud to have the same condition as rampage killers in history. I refuse to advocate that I have Asperger's to anyone else. I don't want to be mocked for standing up and associating with others in my "tribe" either. It doesn't define who I am. It's all fake and stupid.

In light of this event, it will be more advantageous to pretend we don't have it. I wish we can go back to the 1950s where Aspergers didn't exist and we were just generally "weird" or "eccentric".

I have even considered leaving this site so many times before.

I should never have to tell anyone, not even officials, of my aspie status, it opens the door to abuse and I believe that it violates my constitutional rights.



Grahzmann
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03 Oct 2015, 6:41 pm

Which "rampage killers" had Asperger's? I believe one of the more recent school shooters tried to use it as a defense in court, but I'm not aware of any others.

Quote:
In light of this event, it will be more advantageous to pretend we don't have it. I wish we can go back to the 1950s where Aspergers didn't exist and we were just generally "weird" or "eccentric".

Hans Asperger's paper was written in the 40s and the condition has always existed anyway, even when there wasn't a name for it. If no one knew about Asperger's and people with it were still just labelled as "weird" and "eccentric", then they'd probably live out their entire lives not knowing what was causing their difficulties and wouldn't be able to receive any kind of support for them. You're not under any obligation to disclose to anyone or associate with other Aspies if you don't want to, but that hardly means that the entire world should just go back to the 50s and forget it exists.

Obviously, things are hardly perfect now, but a lot of progress has been made.



Last edited by Grahzmann on 03 Oct 2015, 6:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.

RubyTates
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03 Oct 2015, 6:48 pm

Just as being an Aspie doesn't define who you are- being an Aspie does not define who a rampage killer is. Just because they had Asperger's doesn't mean that the Asperger's was solely to blame. Everyone is different and has their own life circumstances going on which makes people do the things that they do.

I do not tell anyone of my status because it is none of their business. If you do not want to tell people of your diagnosis, you have a right to do so. Do not leave a community just because one person, or several, have blackened the group with their bad behavior.



ASS-P
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03 Oct 2015, 6:49 pm

...ALL types - , politics ,. religious feeling , ethnicities , , conditions etc. - have done bad things ! !! !! !! !! !! :x



sonicallysensitive
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03 Oct 2015, 6:57 pm

Why stop at aspies?

Why are you proud to be human, given the atrocities committed by humans over the years?

Living people have committed terrible acts - does that mean we should not be proud to be alive?



K_Kelly
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03 Oct 2015, 7:00 pm

OK, I got that, I was just making horrible assumptions and I apologize. But I know there is at least one person out there who is not my psychologist or doctor who legally needs to know my diagnosis. I just didn't read that other topic about the recent killer because I wasn't able to stomach the contents of it.



B19
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03 Oct 2015, 7:22 pm

Good for you for apologising when your realised you were wrong.

These 'why are people proud' threads recur time and time again - though not usually with the erroneous theme of ASD people are mass murderers - and the strange thing is that these threads are so much more numerous than the rare "I am proud to be.." threads or the very few declarations of pride. Curious.

The other thing I have noticed is that the 'why are people proud' threads tend to be started - nearly always - by young adults in their early twenties. I've noticed something similar with the "how dare people self-identify ASD" threads. I doubt that this age thing is only an accidental artefact. It may be related to a lack of confidence stage that often occurs in young adulthood, though that's a mystery.

In any event, it is often said 'why be proud of anything you did not achieve on your own merits' - which is fair enough unless you have been previously and unfairly shamed for simply being what you are and have no choice but to be - and this second kind of 'restorative pride' is a different thing, which rebuts stigma and the 'tyranny of the normal' to reclaim the narrative power of self-definition and self-worth. That's a very different kind of pride, and the two kinds rarely distinguished here, being instead treated as the same thing. They could hardly be more different.



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03 Oct 2015, 9:39 pm

I see folks who are out as having Asperger's or autism as being very brave, and I am very envious of that bravery. It takes a lot of strength to put yourself out there, in light of all the negative stereotypes. But each person who puts themselves out there, who shows that there are good people just trying to have a decent life, are showing the world the true face of autism. They are ambassadors to the NT world.

I came out as a Lesbian years ago, back when it was illegal in some states, and there were a lot of negative stereotypes. The husband of my best friend from high school threatened to kill me. I was afraid it would impact my job. But, happily enough, nobody really cared. They all shrugged and went on with their business. It was a tremendously liberating thing. I didn't have to hide who I was or make up awkward stories about my "roommate." I didn't shove it in people's faces or tape rainbow flags all over my cubicle, but I didn't hide it either.

I'm still trying to decide what to decide whether to be out as being on the autistic spectrum at work and with my friends (I am recently diagnosed). It's a big step. Being out is not for everyone (as an autistic or as a gay person) and I respect it as an individual choice. One has to be safe and secure, and that must come first. I am not ashamed of who I am, whether or not I am out. I know I am a good person. I do not define myself by other people's ignorant stereotypes.


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NowhereWoman
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03 Oct 2015, 9:53 pm

GodzillaWoman wrote:
I came out as a Lesbian years ago, back when it was illegal in some states, and there were a lot of negative stereotypes. The husband of my best friend from high school threatened to kill me. I was afraid it would impact my job. But, happily enough, nobody really cared. They all shrugged and went on with their business. It was a tremendously liberating thing. I didn't have to hide who I was or make up awkward stories about my "roommate." I didn't shove it in people's faces or tape rainbow flags all over my cubicle, but I didn't hide it either.



Oh my God.

I am so happy for you and proud for you that you have received acceptance rather than rejection. I'm proud for the world, too, that we are finally seeing such "differences" (which occur naturally) as normal. Cheeses H., that certainly took long enough, considering there have been homosexual people as long as there have been heterosexual people, at least as far as historic record can tell. Better late than never... (rolling eyes...LOL)

I have a sort-of friend, a parent of a child who was in my son's class (that's how we became friends...she is VERY social and once we met she started calling me, asking to go for coffee and so on). This parent thinks my two sons' former teacher is a lesbian. This freaks her and her husband out. I jokingly said, "What are you afraid of? She's not asking the girls in school out on a date, right?" She said, "Well, no." I said, "So what's the problem then? I can see no other way in which her orientation would affect how she teaches. Can you? She's not putting rainbow stickers on everything and taking the kids on a gay pride march." (Not that I would have minded my kids being aware of and even involved in a gay pride march. Acceptance is acceptance.) I added, "For that matter, why not be terrified of the hetero male teachers who might be a 'danger' to the little girls?" She admitted I was right. Score. :lol: (FTR, I absolutely LOVED that teacher and we are Facebook friends and keep up with one another. She was amazing, my husband, children and I literally cried when she announced she had found a new job at a different school. Creative and funny lady and a genius with on-the-spectrum kids. I don't like her as a teacher "even though" she's gay any more than I like my son's new teacher "even though" he's straight.)

Sorry to go OT, everybody.



goldfish21
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03 Oct 2015, 10:06 pm

How about for all of the engineers, scientists, artists, actors, musicians, researchers, inventors, discoverers etc etc etc who've all been known AS people?

But, I agree, it's no one's business as to your neurological makeup & you shouldn't ever have to disclose it to anyone for any reason. That's a part of why I haven't wanted the stigma of an official diagnosis.


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NowhereWoman
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03 Oct 2015, 10:15 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
How about for all of the engineers, scientists, artists, actors, musicians, researchers, inventors, discoverers etc etc etc who've all been known AS people?

But, I agree, it's no one's business as to your neurological makeup & you shouldn't ever have to disclose it to anyone for any reason. That's a part of why I haven't wanted the stigma of an official diagnosis.


I agree. I don't wave a flag or wear a "proud to be on the spectrum" T-shirt or anything (although who knows, I might if I came across one that I liked...I just don't go out of my way to do these sorts of things). To me, it's a personal thing. I don't tell just anybody. There are other things about myself that I don't automatically tell people that don't have anything at all to do with autism ("Guess what! I forgot to wear underwear today"...okay, that was a joke), so it's not shame of autism specifically, it's just that I don't feel all the details of me and my life are open for discussion with everyone I meet. I tell all of you here because I'm anonymous here. :)

Now...as for ASD being associated with murder, I don't have any stats handy but I have to think it's not a defining factor. Most of the time when you hear about an antisocial personality becoming a murderer, it's attached to a disorder such as paranoia, psychopathy/sociopathy, paranoid delusion, antisocial personality disorder or whatever. Not that some conditions can't be comorbid with ASD, but I'm not seeing ASD as being a stand-out characteristic of murderers throughout history.



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03 Oct 2015, 10:30 pm

NowhereWoman wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
How about for all of the engineers, scientists, artists, actors, musicians, researchers, inventors, discoverers etc etc etc who've all been known AS people?

But, I agree, it's no one's business as to your neurological makeup & you shouldn't ever have to disclose it to anyone for any reason. That's a part of why I haven't wanted the stigma of an official diagnosis.


I agree. I don't wave a flag or wear a "proud to be on the spectrum" T-shirt or anything (although who knows, I might if I came across one that I liked...I just don't go out of my way to do these sorts of things). To me, it's a personal thing. I don't tell just anybody. There are other things about myself that I don't automatically tell people that don't have anything at all to do with autism ("Guess what! I forgot to wear underwear today"...okay, that was a joke), so it's not shame of autism specifically, it's just that I don't feel all the details of me and my life are open for discussion with everyone I meet. I tell all of you here because I'm anonymous here. :)

Now...as for ASD being associated with murder, I don't have any stats handy but I have to think it's not a defining factor. Most of the time when you hear about an antisocial personality becoming a murderer, it's attached to a disorder such as paranoia, antisocial personality disorder or whatever. Not that some conditions can't be comorbid with ASD, but I'm not seeing ASD as being a stand-out characteristic of murderers throughout history.


Yep, I agree. I've typically been that way about being gay, too, with the exception of the flaming rainbow hawk I had my hair dyed in this past Summer for Pride as a big F U to homophobes after defending myself at the BC Human Rights Tribunal for a year. That experience made me want to be a bit more overtly out about it, but I'm still no flamboyant stereotypically gay guy day to day. It is nice to be out about it at work, though, as the jokes between myself and coworkers are nothing short of hilarious.

As for ASD symptoms, I don't really have to be out about it to others because I've learned how to minimize them via natural medicine/probiotics etc which, IMO, is far superior to having quirks that need explaining in the first place.


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04 Oct 2015, 2:56 am

K_Kelly wrote:
in light of all the rampage killers who were Aspies, why should I want to be proud and embrace and advocate for myself? I'm not proud to have the same condition as rampage killers in history. I refuse to advocate that I have Asperger's to anyone else. I don't want to be mocked for standing up and associating with others in my "tribe" either. It doesn't define who I am. It's all fake and stupid.


In light of all the murderers, rapists, and slave owners throughout history who were neurotypicals how can they be proud of themselves. Come on man, just because some people are f****d up and share a neurological condition doesn't mean they represent everyone who has that condition.

Also how many rampage killers through out history have been confirmed Aspies? Not that many. Maybe this guy and the Sandy Hook shooter to my knowledge, most of them have some sort of condition, but I doubt Asperger's is the prevailing one.

If you want to hate yourself, feel free, but quit trying to shove your self-loathing onto the rest of us.



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04 Oct 2015, 3:20 am

To answer the question literally I believe Aspies should be proud of surviving their added struggles in life as compared to the average person. Living with sensory issues, excess fear and especially the relationship difficulties would be no easy task.

Everybody else has covered the crime parts.


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04 Oct 2015, 10:33 am

We have the same stigma as Muslims. People seem to think that all Muslims are terrorists. I used to, but not any more, because a lot of Muslims would go out of their way to save non-Muslims from being killed or hurt in a terrorist attack.

Also men are more likely to murder than women, but that does not make me have stigma against men.

I have a lot of bitterness in me about having AS, and I have been horribly jealous of my NT peers, and I hate a lot of people from school who made me feel isolated ane worthless, even though I don't know see them any more, but I still wouldn't kill them. I can't even kill a fly, literally.


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04 Oct 2015, 10:54 am

That would be against people-first language. Whoever in the spectrum is not defined just by that.