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EzraS
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12 Oct 2015, 7:44 pm

There is something that often crosses my mind when I visit WP.

Are NT's really that bad, or is it just a case of you being a misanthrope?

See I have always been mainly surrounded by AS people instead of NT's. I have been teased, bullied, threatened and physically assaulted etc. by AS kids in the 10 or so years I have gone to school with them. They can be mean, loud, selfish, uncaring, rejecting etc etc.

This is especially true if you are around high functioning Aspies and have have level 2 or 3 autism. What I recently read one Aspie calling us "hand flapping ret*ds" he did not want to be associated with.

See people are just people, they all suck in a way. What seems like exclusive NT behavior to you, just seems exclusive to NT's because that is who you are around the most.

Believe me, an exclusively AS population is not any better really.



kraftiekortie
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12 Oct 2015, 7:50 pm

People with autism are people, too. They have all the faults and nice qualities of so-called "normal" people.

It would be nice if autistic and nonautistic people would realize this, and treat people like people rather than "autistic" people or "NTs."

It would be nice if people of varying neurotypes would meet each other halfway.



EzraS
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12 Oct 2015, 8:06 pm

Have always been surrounded by AS people who are anywhere from sweet as pie to mean as dirt.



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12 Oct 2015, 8:18 pm

Agreed. I've had heaps of friends that were on the spectrum and diagnosed. They are just like everyone else in terms of being capable of great kindness or great cruelty. But I do find myself gravitating to people like them or people on the spectrum more because I relate to them better. This has nothing to do with hating "NTs" but more to do with feeling comfortable. But I have had some spectacular passionate and hate-filled fights with people on the spectrum and know they can be selfish and mean (I'm probably the same too). So I think all people can be mean and nice but I guess I still relate better to a mean person on the spectrum (or even mentally ill person) than a mean "NT" if that makes sense.



em_tsuj
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12 Oct 2015, 8:40 pm

Thanks for the post Ezra. I agree with you.



CockneyRebel
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12 Oct 2015, 11:43 pm

I also agree with what you said as well.


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iliketrees
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13 Oct 2015, 1:19 am

Title made me angry, but seeing your name below it really confused me. Content, however, agree with.

I saw the "hand flapping ret*ds" post as well. I was shocked anyone would actually say that, especially on a site for autistic people. Really didn't know how to respond to that part.

NT hatred isn't uncommon here. And it's for reasons not exclusive to NTs. And I don't get it. Someone could claim they exclude anyone different, but also say they shouldn't be allowed on WP. Hypocritical.



EzraS
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13 Oct 2015, 2:28 am

I would really like to see "people" or "others" written instead of "NT's". I don't really think so called NT's even actually exist. I hardly ever come across someone in general public forums who does't have some kind if neurological or brain chemistry issue.

There is no such thing as an "NT".



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13 Oct 2015, 4:00 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
People with autism are people, too. They have all the faults and nice qualities of so-called "normal" people.

It would be nice if autistic and nonautistic people would realize this, and treat people like people rather than "autistic" people or "NTs."

It would be nice if people of varying neurotypes would meet each other halfway.


-thumbs up


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13 Oct 2015, 4:18 am

Great post, EzraS, and thank you for bringing it up. What strikes me a lot as a new member is how different people on this site are - the tendency to extreme, " spiky" profiles means that people have some very different experiences in life as well as some common ones.



Drawyer
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13 Oct 2015, 4:40 am

Yeah, EzraS. that's what I'm talking about.


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DevilKisses
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13 Oct 2015, 5:29 am

I don't hate NTs, but there's a subset of NTs that drive me absolutely crazy. They're basically so NT they seem odd to me. They also try to change my behavior a lot of the time. They think it's helpful, but it just causes me to hate myself and them. They often perceive me like a younger adopted sibling. Even if they're my age or younger. I've altered my appearance to make them think I'm acting weird on purpose.


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corroonb
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13 Oct 2015, 6:06 am

EzraS wrote:
I would really like to see "people" or "others" written instead of "NT's". I don't really think so called NT's even actually exist. I hardly ever come across someone in general public forums who does't have some kind if neurological or brain chemistry issue.

There is no such thing as an "NT".


Absolutely. Many, many people have issues very similar to the ones people on the spectrum have. Social anxiety, obsessive interests, depression are not exclusive to autistics. It can make me feel very alone to think of myself as an alien among normal humans. It's really not any healthier to think of yourself as superior rather than inferior. Different is fine but everyone is different. We don't have a monopoly in feeling alone, excluded or weird.



EzraS
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13 Oct 2015, 6:55 am

DevilKisses wrote:
I don't hate NTs, but there's a subset of NTs that drive me absolutely crazy. They're basically so NT they seem odd to me. They also try to change my behavior a lot of the time. They think it's helpful, but it just causes me to hate myself and them. They often perceive me like a younger adopted sibling. Even if they're my age or younger. I've altered my appearance to make them think I'm acting weird on purpose.


I hear what you're saying, and I have experienced that sort of thing too. Usually it's them trying to get me to talk more or "coax me out of my shell". But I am talking about high achiever aspie kids in my school. I think that is the subset you mean, the high achiever type. But that kind of person is not exclusive to the so called NT's, that's all I'm saying.



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13 Oct 2015, 12:14 pm

I must admit that when I saw this provocative thread title with Ezra as the OP, I was a bit concerned. I'm glad I read through it, though, as it reminded me of how much I enjoy your insights, Ezra.

Totally agree on every point you've made here and I will reconsider my over-usage of the NT/ASD false dichotomy in the future. It's easy to fall into a habit of perpetuating that divide in an Autistic community.


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kamiyu910
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13 Oct 2015, 12:34 pm

I think I might have a different idea on what "NT" is and after thinking about it, I think when I ponder NT behavior, I'm thinking of society in general. What is socially accepted, social rules, social cues, and people who understand those. Even while something like stabbing someone in the back is not considered a good thing in general society, many people I've been around don't react the way I do, as if it's just normal. It doesn't seem normal to me, but then I was raised on the outskirts of society (or more like exposed to many different kinds while never being immersed). I imagine aspies who are raised in society have a higher tendency to pick up these habits because they're taught they need to fit in.

And then, everywhere you go, there's a different society to learn about, and here in the US, we have many, many different cultures as well, and it's hard to tell what one group finds socially acceptable vs another. Like lying... the majority of people seem to be perfectly capable, and happy, with lying such as saying things like "Oh you're kid is so cute!" Or "I'm fine." They don't like truths, and my brother and I have had the hardest time figuring that out. I've been trying to study human behavior for a while and I still get rather confused by it.

But like what others have said, I tend to gravitate towards people on the spectrum, or at least those who are not directly "NT" (my best friend is on the boarder) because of how they think. Mom has been wondering if it's an intelligence thing rather than a spectrum thing though.


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