Do you wave your hands and arms a lot when talking?

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Someone mentioned they did this in another thread. Is this normal behaviour for Aspies?
People have always made fun of me for waving my arms around when I'm talking. I make lots of wild hand and arm gestures, but have no conscious idea what I'm trying to convey though.

People used to call me Magnus Pike (An English TV / science personality many years ago) who also used to wave his arms about a lot. People also tell me not to "direct traffic" or do semaphore. A former boss used to take the p**s and mimic me in meetings by waving his arms around when I was talking.

Is this an Aspie trait?

Some, yes. A lot, no.

I've learned to use some hand gestures while talking, but before I knew I had AS, I didn't do that.

I don't know what to do with my hands when I'm talking...that is probably why I started smoking. I think I might use some hand jesters to explain a physcl/practicle thing...like I mimic what I am trying to explain they need to do. I think that is different then people who use their hands to stress a point, just like they use tone of voice and facial expression. Maybe it is more a "stimming" thing for you? I would personally end up poking someones eye out because I have very poor "feedback" from my body about where it is in "space"....(bit clummsy here )

DO you think you do it more when you are discussing a special interest? I know I have been accused of being angry or to intense on those occassions but I think it is probably that my voice gets louder and I talk faster.

I don't use many gestures at all. I am getting better at doing some small stuff. But really only if I remember to do it. That is, I am not a complete robot, I do have some hand gestures. But they tend to be more functional than anything. Like I will point out a direction if asked "Do you know the way to San Jose?" or make boxing motions when talking about bruce lee movies... but apart from that I tend to have very small gestures if I do use them at all.

Possibly. I don't tend to notice the wild gesturing until someone else points it out (or ducks for cover ) I can certainly relate to the talking faster and louder bit - it is like my mouth can't deliver the words fast enough no matter how fast I talk. On pet subjects I'm often asked to slow down or lower my volume. Occasionally I can detect this is happening because the person I'm talking to looks like I'm assaulting them - which I suppose is what I am doing, but with a barrage of words that they don't get time to assimilate.

Several people have said I'm "intense" but never understood what they meant by that.

I get accused of being too intense when I'm talking about certain things. I also would be speechless without my hands. I'm not crazy about it, because I've learned to moderate it, but I still do it.

At arm's length topic

I call this a "gestim." I do it with my right hand. While hanging at my side, my forearm pronates/supinates, back and forth in rapid succession, especially when I am in sensory overload or talking about a special interest. People who are teasing you about your arm movements are probably in some sort of embarrassed mode. This is their probem, not yours.

Are you worried about this,Tallyman?

No, not in normal circumstances, people think I'm a tad eccentric anyway so it goes with the territory.

I gesture quite a lot, but I think that is because I am of German and Italian descent.

I don't know how to turn it down... There's some sort of bodylanguage thing I haven't picked up yet which says 'it's okay, I'm not going to spin off into space' (possibly not using my hands so much, but that would be difficult . Usually, when someone starts to look a bit uncomfortable (backing up, looking away) I just ask if I'm being too intense. If they say 'yes' I apologize and smile at them, and then change the topic. Ask something about them (weekend, kids, pets). Then they get distracted from how intense I am. Most people like having someone take an 'intense interest' in them, although this can backfire if they think you're coming on to them (which has happened... *sigh*).

(The old aphorism is true: If you want to be boring, talk about yourself. If you want to be intelligent and fascinating ask questions about the other person

not unless i am tryin to distract them from something else

Very true. I knew someone once who used this in a slightly manipulative way in the working environment. He would make a point of asking people about personal things or things he knew were important to them, then at a subsequent meeting would make a point of remembering what they said and asking about it again e.g. "How did little Johnny get on at the dentist?". This allowed him to build up good relationship with the people who worked for him - and they were always keen to help him with whatever he asked them to do. He may just have been "nice" but it did seem a bit too "polished" to be true somehow.

Sometimes. Not sure how to answer the poll with that one.

It's not a bad habit to get into, actually. Even if it's not meant to manipulate, it can smooth relations with people... so when you're having a bad day they'll forgive you for not having the usual social graces (: Well, perhaps it is a bit manipulative, but if you don't do it to gain power over people then it's just doing the same things that NT people do. It's a copy-cat behaviour I've been trying to perfect since I was a kid...

My new supervisor does the same thing. It's a management technique, which, when used in a truthful and kind way makes everyone feel better. I appreciate her for taking the time to get to know me and what makes me tick, when my previous supervisor just said I was s nut-job (and looked like she was worried I'd bring a gun to work).

Last edited by spindriftdancer on 24 Apr 2008, 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm, I don't, but then my arms are usually at my sides, even when I walk.