:?: distracted by other conversations

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risingphoenix
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04 Apr 2007, 8:49 pm

I've quite some time been wondering what this is about: When I have a conversation with someone and simultaneously someone else is talking I get so distracted by that that I can't follow "my" conversation anymore. It's not like I will turn my full attention then to the other speaker, but that I will simply notice that he speaks. The consequence of this is however that I have to make an extreme effort to listen to what my conversation partner is saying and when it's my turn to talk I will constantly forget what I just wanted to say and just constantly make pauses and get a blank stare some seconds, trying to reorganize my thoughts again and figure out like, which words should come out of my mouth next and what topic we are on again at all. It's not entirely impossible to carry on the conversation, but almost.
Strangely enough I'm especially distracted when one or two other people speak and my environment is silent otherwise but when I'm in a restaurant or something with music and lots of chatter around I don't seem to have that problem so much (I will get quickly annoyed by all the noise though). I don't know, does everybody have this? I always feel like for other people (for example the person I'm talking to who should be distracted then too after all) this is never a problem, but maybe I just don't see it.


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nutbag
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04 Apr 2007, 9:06 pm

When more than one conversation is happening around me, I find that my mind is flipping and hopping all over and picking up snips of every conversation in the room. Is that what you mean? Rather unhandy.


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04 Apr 2007, 9:19 pm

It happens to me all the time. I have CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder) and am unable to regulate or filter extraneious noise. I have to concentrate very hard on conversation to decode it. It is a problem with the brain, not the ears. I'm not sure if all aspies have it.


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Vegasadelphia
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04 Apr 2007, 9:46 pm

Out to dinner with about 12 coworkers, I found myself constantly switching between the 2 main conversations. I would not know what was said in the 1, and try to catch up, thereby losing my place in the original conversation. I keep switching back and forth, not being able to pay attention to either conversation enough to enjoy myself. This happens to me all the time.



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04 Apr 2007, 10:07 pm

Yes, it happens me frequently, and I think it's a brain problem.



ZanneMarie
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04 Apr 2007, 10:14 pm

I have it. I can't even work if I hear conversations between other co-workers. My boss just set me under a nosiy air vent. That noise is constant and doesn't bother me. It's also just loud enough to block out all the sounds around me so I can work in peace. It's wonderful!



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04 Apr 2007, 10:15 pm

Sounds like CAPD but I think it is pretty common on the spectrum. Until I learned about it I thought I just wasnt paying attention enough when I was kid even though I would try really hard. I also have trouble distinguishing between background noise and someone speaking. It is like there is a short time delay between what someone is saying and when I can decipher it. If someone is speaking very clearly with no distractions then it isn't really an issue, but if someone has an accent or if there is noise around then it can be very difficult. Too many distractions and I get overloaded and have told people to stop talking or have had to get away from the jumble of noise.



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04 Apr 2007, 10:40 pm

I have a similar problem. I can't listen to music and do anything else at the same time. My brain inevitably focuses on the beat and the lyrics.



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04 Apr 2007, 11:21 pm

Yes! If I ruled the world, there would be a universal vow of silence, to be broken only at specified times in specified places, which I would avoid.



nicklegends
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05 Apr 2007, 12:02 am

Yes! I couldn't have described that phenomenon any better myself, risingphoenix. Happens to me all the time. I find a similar thing happens when I'm trying to sleep when my brother is playing on his computer in the room next to mine, or has his radio too loud. I don't try to listen to the faint chattering of the keyboard nor the topic on his favorite radio station, but it makes it entirely impossible to go to sleep just because of that noise.



Ian
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05 Apr 2007, 5:42 am

Does anyone find that when listening to music that they have trouble picking out the lyrics from the instruments.

It's really difficult with some music



risingphoenix
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05 Apr 2007, 6:37 am

walk-in-the-rain wrote:
Sounds like CAPD but I think it is pretty common on the spectrum. Until I learned about it I thought I just wasnt paying attention enough when I was kid even though I would try really hard. I also have trouble distinguishing between background noise and someone speaking. It is like there is a short time delay between what someone is saying and when I can decipher it. If someone is speaking very clearly with no distractions then it isn't really an issue, but if someone has an accent or if there is noise around then it can be very difficult. Too many distractions and I get overloaded and have told people to stop talking or have had to get away from the jumble of noise.


With the background noise, that happens to me, too. For example when I'm at the train station with someone and the train arrives I find that the noise of the train distracts me too much. Also when I'm on the bus with someone what he/she is saying will frequently sound to me similar to "Today I went to the park and ... white noise ... do you think?" and so on, leaving me only the option to either ask "huh?" all of the time or pretend to understand. Also I can hardly concentrate on a book when the tv or radio is on near me and just as well, when I'm watching tv in the living room and people are talking in the kitchen I'll shut the door as I find the indistinct chatter too annoying.
Another strange thing, I don't know if this is related to this at all, is that I find it hard to walk up and downstairs and have to talk to someone at the same time, especially if there are no banisters to put my hand on. If it's possible I'll stay silent on the stairs and will also prefer the other person to be quiet and then carry on (or start) the conversation afterwards. It's like a task as simple as walking stairs takes up all of my attention, it's weird but that's what it's like!


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05 Apr 2007, 9:54 am

Yes all the above happens to me! I think it has to do with our aspie brains and not so much wih our ears. This morning I was listening to the radio and it was very windy outside and it was witsling outside and I couldn't separate all the sounds. Last night at my aspie support group there were multiple coversations going on and I was so distracted by all that was going on. Tjis is a daily occcurance for me. Some days I get so wound up that I lose all ability to focus and I can't get any work done!



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06 Apr 2007, 5:57 am

Most of my thoughts with regard to this subject are pretty well covered here, so I'll just say: "Yup."


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06 Apr 2007, 6:12 am

It is WIERD! During the day NORMALLY, I don't have a problem. When I talk to someone, am under stress, or trying to go to sleep, it is like any internal filter SHUTS OFF! When I sleep, my normally quiet heart is almost deafening.(Especially now with an artificial valve) During the day, it is like eveyone starts screaming, and I just want to scream SHUT UP!! !!

Steve



ExeterChris
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06 Apr 2007, 6:13 am

My main problem is separating conversation from background noise. I had an incident a few weeks ago where I was trying to order food in a restaurant. I had to lean so far forward to hear the barmaid that she thought I was drunk :oops: (I am teetotal).


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