Late bloomers?

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Do you think aspies are late bloomers, in that we are succesful later in life? Or do we never bloom at all?

From what I've read and from my own experience I'd say we mature late. In my case, pretty much everything has always been around a decade late. These would range from emotional milestones to social developmental ones and even culture-based appreciation of certain things like movies, books, clothing styles, etc. (although to be fair, I've also done a fair number 3-5 years *before* they caught on with mainstream culture ...by which point I was done with them).

I don't think there is one model for who blooms when. I think it depends on the individual and the definition of what it means to "bloom".

I agree. Cultural success and maturity even has different meanings in different locations within the same country. For example, Compare and contrast the US southern states with CA. What it means to be mature and successful in one doesn't mean the same in the other. You could do the same between European countries, or between Asian countries. It is exhausting trying to keep up with people, daily activities, self care, and any unexpected extras thrown into the week. I'm thinking, maybe maturity means being able to find a workable solution for handling all those things without messing up too much. There is a saying about full plates and juggling a lot of balls. The handling part is what counts. Not allowing too many things to be thrown your way is part of it too. Knowing your limits and figuring out how to get people to respect your limits.

I've seen examples of both. I myself am definitely a late bloomer - I only started socialising in my twenties, entered the dating game later than most, I'm in my mid twenties now and still studying and living with my parents - I could easily give up on life I guess, and I have been tempted to but I want a career, to own a house etc.

My other friends with AS are in a similar place in life. We're still young however so it will be interesting to see where our lives go.

On the other hand I have an uncle with AS who has never been able to hold down a job or a relationship. Things might have been different for him if he'd had the same kind of support that I've had when he was younger

I think aspies can be late bloomers. I don't know about other people but it took me years to develop the coping skills, experience, and masks needed to allow me to work among NTs. At 55 years of age, I can now pass for an NT ... but I remember being very awkward at 17 and so self conscious that I could barely walk for fear of being noticed.

I pushed myself to get right to work after school, to live independently, to raise my child, etc. right on time or perhaps even earlier than many people, including many NTs, but I definitely don't feel I was mature or "ready" - I was just playing a part and suffered tremendously for it. Particularly, I had very high anxiety nearly all the time and even fainting spells due to fear and anxiety as I knew I wasn't actually ready for those things and didn't have the social skills to do them correctly, so I always figured someone would "figure out" what a fake I was somewhere along the line and fire me, not let me rent from them anymore, might question my parenting abilities, etc.

Pushing myself didn't make me actually ready, it just made me functional within societal standards.

I am pushing 50 at this point and only now feel even the slightest sense of inner maturity coming on (as opposed to my maturity "acting"), and even there, it feels like a very delayed maturity for my age.

But I can say, to give a work example, that I have been a very good writer for as long as I can remember (not in my own estimation, but rather in others'; especially teachers), yet I didn't start an actual writing job until 1999. At that time I had already been in the workforce in non-writing jobs for 14 years. It took me all that time to feel "ready" to work a "real career" - writing - v. a job that would simply pay the bills. And as relationship examples, only now, 13 years into my second marriage, do I feel I'm at all a mature partner who can give-and-take, and only 29 years into being a parent (my oldest is 29; my youngest is 9) do I feel I'm becoming a good mother as far as handling things without severe anxiety, being able to see the bigger picture, remaining calm and so on.

Yes, this is definitely my experience. On the physical, co-ordination side, I was late learning to walk (age 2), tie shoe laces etc. I didn't learn to swim until age 20, or drive a car until 30. I was a social disaster at primary school, and even more so as a teenager, but pulled out of it very slowly starting at university and continuing with a career (in software) shaky at first, then getting more solid. I can well pass for normal now, aged 61.

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There is no doubt I am a late bloomer and every single Aspie I know is a late bloomer as well. If there is one common thread among Aspies I know it is that they are far younger than their biological age. Even my NT-but-with-AS-traits Fiancee looks and acts like someone 10 years younger than she is.

^^ This seems to agree with my own understanding.