Should I move out? OPINIONS WANTED

Post Reply New Topic

Ok, so I currently live with my dad and stepmom. I spend most of my time in my room and honestly like it that way. I need social isolation cause well... aspergers but when I do interact outside of my room it is not that great. I don't ever have any family or fun experiences with my dad and step mom. When I go out of my room it is to ask about dinner or some school thing or something else I want. I just don't like there personality's and do not have much in common with them. We frequently have arguments over things, actually I would almost say we argue more than we are not arguing. I frequently get the vibe I am a nuisance or unwanted. I know that is NOT the case but yet I get the vibe, or just a negative vibe. Today I asked my stepmom if I could read my psychological testing report when we get it. We went in to do the evaluation for aspergers about a week ago and they send a report. I am 15 years old and am the one who started and asked for this aspergers testing and I don't see why I can't read the report. Apparently it is because I am "only 15 and don't need to know everything" which I think saying that means I can't read the psychological testing report is absolute BS (FYI the testing was done by a psychologist and we did tests like the inkblot test). I told her that I would just get my mom to get the report and give it to me since I knew my mom would be smart enough to know there is no actual reason I can't read it (My mom not stepmom) and then my stepmom said that if I am going to go behind her back and do something like that I should just move out. And I considered it and now I am actually thinking about doing it. I have a way better relationship with my mom than I do my dad or stepmom. I feel comfortable around my mom and get along with her great. She has been sympathetic with all of my mental problems (anxiety, depression) and I just like her personality much better. Much more understanding and has less of a stick up her ass. She lives with her fiance and they have been on and off together for awhile but they have been more on recently. I have very little relationship with her boyfriend but he is ok. Her can be a dick to my mom and I wish he wasn't but he is a decent person. The school situation would change drastically. The school I currently go to is upper class (we aren't rich we just fall into a primarily white middle-upper class district) and has nice facilities and such. I don't have any friends but that would probably be the case anywhere. The school I would go to if I moved isn't as premium. It's not like trash from what I can tell but it is not as fancy. I would probably be fine with it though. I do go to a counselor and psychologist, and there is a risk that since my mom does not have as great insurance that getting me into that would be more of a challenge. I wish I could go more in depth but I honestly don't know how that would work.

So obviously you are just guessing based on a birds eye view and I will make my own decision that is critically thought out. But if you could give me your subjective opinions, I would appreciate it.

In my opinion, you would likely be better off at your mother's, as it seems obvious that your father's wife has no love or respect for you at all.

If I were you, I would start by having an honest conversation with your dad about how you are feeling, and then have a conversation with your mom about what it would look like to move in with her. This will give you both a chance to discuss your concerns and questions. If you feel uncomfortable having these conversations, your counselor should be able to help you. Best of luck, and don't be afraid to be honest. You deserve to have a home where you feel comfortable and supported.

Geez, that's a tough situation. I find it sometimes helps to flip a coin for a decision and see how you feel about the outcome. If it comes out one way and you find yourself wanting to not count that one, that's a good indicator that deep down you want to decide the opposite.

I would also say that if/when you are able to live on your own (obviously some time down the road yet, you're only 15 right now) that you should attempt to do so. For me, the thought was a bit scary at the time but it can be quite liberating.

As far as the insurance, even if you moved in with your mother, you could still stay on your dad's insurance. I know a lot of single parents who have the child's other parent put the child on their insurance.

Just because you are living with the other parent does not mean your father's insurance wouldn't cover you. As for the school situation, unless you are aiming at exclusive schools for college you're probably fine, if you are really at a higher scholastic level you can check out if they have AP programs.

Be sure to ask your mom if she's cool with it though. Maybe mention what your stepmom said and why you're now thinking you shouldn't live with them.