I do like going on WP but...

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...sometimes I get confused by which traits are Aspie traits and which traits are NT traits. You read everywhere on WP about a certain trait being common among NTs, like noticeably common, then all of a sudden a thread springs up saying about that particular trait is now common among Aspies and that NTs are apparently now have the opposite of that said trait.

Like about the closed-mindedness and being more judgmental stuff. From mine and nearly everybody else's experience here, NTs have been intolerant and especially judgmental, not only towards us but other non-NT neurotypes too, or other mental conditions like depression and anxiety. You could see it from space.

Not saying Aspies can't be judgmental either, but I thought it was more of an NT trait, and is not exactly something I would say NTs are less intolerant or judgmental than Aspies.

In my opinion certain traits are just simply human traits and you don't have to fit into any specific category for that.

My ex for instance was utterly intolerant and closed minded but if you asked him he would have said the opposite.

I could never work out whether he might have been on the spectrum or not but for the purposes of this (and for arguments sake) he was "NT".

Also it could be possible to learn such traits from the people around you depending on how easily influenced you might be.

I don't know anyway....

It's almost as though we're all humans or something.

My take on it is that we acknowledge that everyone is different for a good reason. Every aspect that can be measured has a different spectra and each person - NT or AS/ASD - exists somewhere on that spectra. Aggregate all the traits them together to describe an unique individual. Find general patterns over populations that fit the first or maybe second standard deviation best and we have labels for trends. All of this is really messy. The data is dirty, with outliers everywhere. Often it graphs out as more like a big diffuse cloud, not a line or two nice clean circles representing "NT" and "AS/ASD". And conversations about the traits depend highly on a context that may be very specific. Or it may not. So, yeah...a trait might get attributed to NT people in one context and then attributed to AS/ASD people in another. And often it may be difficult to figure out what trait is *actually* being discussed (might not be obvious) and in what context.

I've found the best thing to do is ask questions. And WP is an excellent place to do so. Because so many of us have our own troubles taking in or putting out communication clearly, people here tend to understand that our conversations tend to have more clarification, more questioning, more words to explain the concept.

I would take all such things with a 'pinch of salt'.

We're all just people making our own observations and most of us are laypeople so don't completely know what we're doing lol

The human condition overall (not separating NT from OTS) is a puzzle as it is. Even completely "normal" reactions among non-special needs people can be mind-boggling and fascinating, so much so that many thousands of researchers over many centuries have made a study of the perplexities of them, going all the way back to the ancient Greeks at the very least as far as written history can determine.

I have seen a lot of "is this an ASD trait?"-style questions on here lately and sometimes I wonder whether we aren't trying to separate ourselves more from the general population; have our own place in this already-confusing world, as it were.

For instance, "do Aspies look like this" (big foreheads, large mouth, certain specific look to the eyes were just a few of the theories put forth...none of which I have myself, by the way, LOL...though I'm a sample size of exactly one) and "do Aspies have different hair than NTs..." and so on. I feel these are partly just what people feel they have observed, partly scientific curiosity, and partly a need to stand up and have an identity and a place in the world. They may also in some cases be people attempting to find concrete "evidence" that they are "really" OTS (hence different from NTs) in the face of others constantly questioning, as well as preconceived notions about autism, etc. I don't think they're questions that shouldn't be asked or that they're silly or anything, but I do question when people seem to think every little thing must be specifically either an NT or ASD trait when in fact, it's just a human trait (whether it's a physical one or emotional or behavioral or whatever).

This is a weird time in history for people OTS because for the first time we have been identified at all (unless we're very very low-functioning, in which case we probably were DXd at least with something or other, accurate or not, in our past), and are attempting to be accepted as we are, the way we are. I feel like "separating ourselves out" is just part of a collection of "growing pains" as we attempt to see ourselves in a positive light rather than being "damaged" in some way and as we attempt to figure out just where we fit in, and with whom.

We aren't experts and people mainly just post their opinions, which vary widely. Also many people assume that every other aspie has the same traits that they do. IMO that's just part of how we think. Its hard to really get it that others may have more or fewer limitations than we ourselves have. I wouldn't put a lot of stock in what you read here about what is and isn't an autistic trait. Just either go with your own traits or if you really want to know, talk to your therapist about it if you have a therapist.

You might enjoy it more here if you had more differing conversations. I'm NOT putting your posting style down or complaining or saying anything bad about it. Don't take it that way. But I've noticed that you usually only post in threads you've started and don't really post a lot of conversational type thing's. I get a very tense vibe from you, like you are tense and only post when you have a question or are upset and need to rant. I think you might really enjoy it more if you posted some positive things along with the questions and rants. Maybe something nice that happened or something funny. That way we could "get to know you" more and others would initiate conversation or you might start to feel comfortable enough to. I know you have social phobia so that could be why you don't, but its why I'm suggesting you try it. I'd like to see you more relaxed and happy. I know I've tried initiating a conversation with you a few times and you haven't responded but that could be that either you only have interest in discussing exactly what you posted about or that you don't like me. Or a combination of both lol. Posting more and also in others threads more might help you like it here more.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I always post in other people's threads. Go and check.

I am feeling really stressed in my life at the moment. I'm sorry if my posting style bothers you. I did once get somebody here tell me that I don't post in my own threads enough, and that it's rude to not give feedback to what people have took the trouble to post in my thread.

Can't win.

What I pick up on is a lot of what is supposed to be an NT trait, something negative usually, I have also seen in a lot of aspies I have been around. A lot of stuff claimed is often stereotyping and subjective.