Not buying the "neurotype" thing.

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I guess I should get this out of the way now; I've actively avoided any community like this for a while now. A lot of that comes down to fear. A lot of the time when I talk in depth about Asperger's/ASD/whatever-we're-calling-it-now with someone else who has it, things end poorly. I get angry, they get angry, one of us just gives up and things remain icy from there. I'm actually more comfortable talking about it with "NTs" where I have more room to frame it and there's just less on the table.

That doesn't inspire confidence in me interacting with a whole group of such people. I'll say it; I'm very nervous here.

One of the big things that just kills it is the idea of "neurotypes" or "neurodiversity". I'm just not on board with this stuff. I probably would have been if I'd been aware of it earlier in my life, but at that time I don't know that it was even a thing. I didn't come across these concepts until I was in maybe my early 20's, and had been aware of my Asperger's for the better part of two decades. At that point? The idea that something I was working around and trying to overcome was simply a "difference" was flat-out offensive to me. It was offensive to think that all the help I had received and that I still appreciate was just because of a "difference". It still is.

For me, it is a deeply held belief that social interaction is of paramount importance. It is what makes life worth living. It is essential in creating everything that's good in the world (that's me philosophizing here, we don't need to discuss that). My difficulties with it were and are a problem, not a simple difference. Suggesting they're the latter? To me it feels defeatist, lazy and selfish. That's irrational on some level but I have a visceral reaction to it. I try very hard to bite my tongue when people talk about it and it has a strong tendency to simply ruin my day if I even hear a discussion about it. I'm trying to be more tolerant of it; I am of other opposing views, but this feels personal. I tell myself that others have had different experiences but it's hard not to get upset.

I want to clarify that I do believe that society discriminates against us and things would improve with greater awareness and understanding. I simply don't believe that autism is adaptive, useful, beneficial or really a good thing in any way, shape or form. I am vehemently opposed to any attempt to celebrate it and can't help but feel deep contempt towards anyone making such a claim. I don't believe it should be accepted as "just different". That sounds like an excuse, or asking to be given more than one's due. To me this is a disability, it's a problem I have and not something good; I have joked with the very few people I tell about it that someone really phoned it in when they were wiring up my brain. I'm half-serious when I say that, and I don't feel bad about it.

What I want to know is; does anyone else relate? Does anyone here want to talk with, share experiences and thoughts with, and interact with other people with autism while not buying into this whole "neurodiversity" idea? I've felt very isolated thinking nobody does. It's probably left me feeling more alone and alienated than anything else that's happened in my adult life.

Alternatively... am I wasting my time here? Is this not a place I should be? If so, knowing now would be nice so I can move on and continue searching.

Or am I just misunderstanding the whole thing? Maybe the people I've discussed it with before were just really terrible advocates for it.

I'm really putting myself out here, it took me a long time to build up the courage to try this.

I think there is diversity in views here, wp is not all neurodiversity yay.
Many people have more negative views about autism than you do, but I think overly negative approach is not good.
Some are neutral and think it is what it is, I generally take this view, as there are good and bad about it for me, but I try to live my life the best I can.
Some think more positives than negatives, but I think overly positive approach is also not good, seems to me fanciful or wishful thinking.
I think there are definitely plenty of social deficits in autism, and I consider social problems to be real deficits of social brain, I am quite sure that my social brain simply doesn't work as well as most other people's, and my abilities in social cognition are simply lower than most.
Some neurodiversity advocates may say that such view is internalized ableism, at which point I usually want to vomit when I read such things.

I don't agree with neurodiversity. To me it seems to go against my own views that more services are needed for autistic adults. Neurodiversity advocates don't seem to like those as they don't believe there's anything wrong with being autistic and we just need acceptance rather than actual help. I think autism is a disability rather than a difference. It makes stuff harder, and no, not just because of society.

I have read a little bit about neurodiversity but I am not knowledgeable enough about the movement to really have much of an opinion. I read your OP and I do feel what you are saying. I feel that this is very deep for you and I just want to say that I hear you. I have not really had time to digest what you have said, sometimes it takes me awhile, but I wanted to respond anyway because I do hear you and feel something. I am not sure what I feel but it is not a bad feeling towards you, it's more like, wow, I never thought of it from that perspective before and it's a very interesting perspective. I am not feeling anything negative towards you at all just trying to really understand. I do appreciate where you are coming from. I hope you can feel comfortable here. I would like that for you.

OP you have misattributed something that iliketrees posted to Wilburforce. Wilburforce has been misrepresented by that mistake.

I can understand where you are coming from on this but you are likely to find that many people with Asperger's have had such a bad time with the people around them that referring to other people as 'neuro-typical' has become a defence mechanism for the frustration of being misunderstood and mistaken.

I believe neurodiversity is real. Some people have different perspectives on things.

OP: Have you read about Temple Grandin? She's a prime example of a quite neurodiverse person who has succeeded despite her salient autistic characteristics. Without her unique mindset, her inventions wouldn't have been possible.

The same for many prominent advances in many fields.

Autism doesn't have to be a disability....but services/accommodations are still needed for many on the Spectrum.

In my own case, I feel that autism is a disability - but that there is no shame in having a disability.

I don't quite understand the 'autism is a difference' attitude either. The DSM-V specifies that "Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning."

Maybe I don't understand the semantics, but to me, 'significant impairment' equates to 'disability'.

[EDIT]: Others have pointed out that we have unique gifts to share with the world... And I would argue that the same could be said for people with a variety of different disabilities. Having a disability doesn't mean you have nothing valuable to contribute to the world.