Overcoming Disabilities

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A person I have known for a couple of years online, seems to have this belief that all people who have disabilities are well taken care of and taught to overcome their disabilities.

Recently, there was a discussion about people faking mental illness to get attention, which I stayed quiet, because while these people aren't doctors, neither are we.. So I didn't agree with most of what was being said.. But she made the comment, "You wouldn't even know if someone online had a disability because they are taught to overcome them."

I've been trying to understand her perspective, because I've known people online and off, including myself, who have had a lifetime of struggles. And for myself, it's taken me years to even understand who I am and how too make changes in my life to make things easier on myself. I wasn't just born into a family who knew everything about and me took good care of me.. and pushed me to do better.

I tried to explain some of this to her.. which seemed completely uninterested in even listening to what I had to say, and she told me that I was discriminating against people with disabilities because if we don't expect them to act like everyone else, then we're treating them like less of a person.

I was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this.

This person who you know seems a tad closed minded.

Not everyone is well taken care of and as you know yourself a lot of people have to really fight and struggle in order to get by.

You just stick to what you know and be the bigger person and also try and accept what she is saying.

With some people there is no reasoning.

That's life.

Thank you. That's kind of how I felt about it. The things she said about me being discriminative against people with disabilities has been on my mind. My brother and I both grew up with them and we both have struggled hard and still do. I've heard a lot of stories from people who have grown up in similar situations. But I was still uncertain if my viewpoint was distorted because of my own circumstance. I don't think I will be bothering with trying to reason with her further. I don't see anything good coming from it.

I'm feeling less charitable. This person is an extremely bigoted idiot.

First of all, there are all kinds of studies regarding low hiring rates of autistic people and of disabled people in general, and plenty of news stories about disabled people being murdered or horribly abused by parents or caretakers. I don't have them on-hand, but i can look them up if you want them.

Second of all, how is expecting someone to act differently treating them like less of a person? I don't expect someone with ALS to dance the tango. I don't expect a blind person to fly a plane. There are things that disabled people cannot do. There are also ways in which they can contribute great things. Think of Dr. Stephen Hawking or Ray Charles. There are also accomplished autistic or Aspergian people: Temple Grandin, Vernon L. Smith, Tim Rice, Daryl Hannah, Paddy Considine, John Elder Robison. Your friend/acquaintance has made up her mind with an absence of data, and therefore is a fool, or else she is basing her narrow opinion on her narrow experience, probably of a person that she was envious of for "having it easy." I've found that arguing with fools is a waste of time. Their minds are impervious to logic and too inflexible to allow in new perspectives.

Can blind people stop being blind, can deaf people stop being deaf, can people with mental retardation stop being ret*d, can people with cerebral palsy stop having it?

I don't know what she means and yes some people have overcome blindness and hearing loss but that depends. I overcame my speech delay and other autism symptoms. I have also learned to stay calm so I am not having anxiety and then finding out I had it over nothing.

I'm feeling less charitable. This person is an extremely bigoted idiot.

First of all, there are all kinds of studies regarding low hiring rates of autistic people and of disabled people in general, and plenty of news stories about disabled people being murdered or horribly abused by parents or caretakers. I don't have them on-hand, but i can look them up if you want them.

Second of all, how is expecting someone to act differently treating them like less of a person? I don't expect someone with ALS to dance the tango. I don't expect a blind person to fly a plane. There are things that disabled people cannot do. There are also ways in which they can contribute great things. Think of Dr. Stephen Hawking or Ray Charles. There are also accomplished autistic or Aspergian people: Temple Grandin, Vernon L. Smith, Tim Rice, Daryl Hannah, Paddy Considine, John Elder Robison, and many others.

We can compensate for disabilities, but we cannot overcome or eliminate them, unless some "cure" comes along like a cochlear implant, which doesn't exist for autistic people. We can use technological aids, coping strategies, and learn social skills, but our autism/Asperger's is still there. It must still be factored into our daily lives.

Your friend/acquaintance has made up her mind with an absence of data, or else she is basing her narrow opinion on her narrow experience, probably of a person that she was envious of for "having it easy." I've found that arguing with the narrow-minded is a waste of time. Their minds are impervious to logic and too inflexible to allow in new perspectives.

There's a small subculture that seems comprised of people who have multiple types of privilege. And they like it. But they are aware that the larger culture has been becoming more aware of how it works, and it's telling them that privilege for one person means privilege taken away from someone else. This bothers them because they don't want to think of themselves as being bad, but nor do they want to give up any of what they have. So far, no big deal. But modern mass media including the Internet has brought like people together into subcultures. Sometimes that's good, like when it's something intrinsic, something medical or biological. Sometimes when it's something that truly is a choice - or the culmination of a long chain of them - the effect can be very defensive and in this case, harmful.

Last edited by Edenthiel on 28 Oct 2015, 2:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have no idea what that person is talking about. I am significant special needs. I have serious cognitive and physical disabilities. I have been very well cared for, which has helped me get along better, but I am never going to overcome my disabilities.

Yes you can not tell online that I am disabled. There's plenty else you can't tell about me either.

Me not being taken care of as disabled, would just amount to neglect.

Thank you all for your opinions on this. I was feeling at a loss. I was instantly angry and upset when she said this. I felt like she was being hateful, but with others agreeing with her, I felt like maybe I was wrong, and only considering my own issues, and not the issues of others. After stepping away, I did think about the fact that we don't really ever overcome our disabilities. We learn what works best for us, and push ourselves to try harder. Some have some pretty amazing stories in the ways that they've learned to work past obstacles. But they are still disabled. And everyone's story is different. In my opinion, it's just as harmful to tell a disabled person what they can do, as it is to tell them what they can't do. There's a difference in being encouraging and being condescending.

That is a horrible thing to say, and a horrible way to think.

For a statement like that to even make sense requires the precept(?)/presumption(? I know what thing I want to name but don't know what word names it) that being unable to act like everyone else means you actually are less of a person -- which is about as discriminatory as you can get.

Thank you! I think you just said the words I'd been looking for. I was just really upset and didn't know how to respond.