Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

What do I tell my boss about my ASD?

Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Previous topic | Next topic

jimmyboy76453
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2015
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 590
Location: Ashtabula

26 Oct 2015, 5:04 pm

I told my boss at work about my ASD today. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I had a golden opportunity, so I did it. But I'm frustrated because I couldn't think of anything to say when she asked me what it was, what I needed, and what issues I might have. I should clarify that I don't need special considerations at my job. I can do it well already. And my boss is a nice person whom I respect and I believe she will treat me well. There have not yet been issues with my ASD, but I wanted her to know in case anything became an issue in the future. I didn't want something to happen, and then I tell her it's because I have ASD and then she thinks I'm lying to make excuses.
I told her it's a neurological condition and that Asperger's, HFA and other diagnoses have been put under the term ASD. I told her I might misunderstand someone of they might misunderstand me. I told her that I have a very specific food schedule that I don't like to change, which is why I don't want cookies or cake when someone brings them in.
But I couldn't think of anything else, and I'm frustrated because I've done so much research, and I have thought about this conversation many, many times, but it all went out of my head and I don't know what I should have said to make it better.

I know that everyone is different, and it will be very difficult to make suggestions since no one knows me exactly, but what is your opinion? What should I have said? What can I tell her?


_________________
You don't need to hide, my friend, for I am just like you.


StarTrekker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

27 Oct 2015, 9:20 pm

I would start with the things that could potentially become a problem for you; things that would make it hard for you to function, upset you to the point of scaring other people, or make you no longer tolerate your job. For instance, how rigid are your work routines? If they were switched up, could you deal with it? If not, that would be something to tell your boss. If you were moved to a noisier or more crowded part of your workplace, would you be okay with that, or would your sensory issues be a problem? When I told my boss about my ASD, I mostly stuck to the things that were a problem for me at work (loud noises, rapid schedule changes, etc.)


_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

28 Oct 2015, 2:43 am

jimmyboy76453 wrote:
I told my boss at work about my ASD today. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I had a golden opportunity, so I did it. But I'm frustrated because I couldn't think of anything to say when she asked me what it was, what I needed, and what issues I might have. I should clarify that I don't need special considerations at my job. I can do it well already. And my boss is a nice person whom I respect and I believe she will treat me well. There have not yet been issues with my ASD, but I wanted her to know in case anything became an issue in the future. I didn't want something to happen, and then I tell her it's because I have ASD and then she thinks I'm lying to make excuses.
I told her it's a neurological condition and that Asperger's, HFA and other diagnoses have been put under the term ASD. I told her I might misunderstand someone of they might misunderstand me. I told her that I have a very specific food schedule that I don't like to change, which is why I don't want cookies or cake when someone brings them in.
But I couldn't think of anything else, and I'm frustrated because I've done so much research, and I have thought about this conversation many, many times, but it all went out of my head and I don't know what I should have said to make it better.

I know that everyone is different, and it will be very difficult to make suggestions since no one knows me exactly, but what is your opinion? What should I have said? What can I tell her?

I think you should never bring it up again. You are trying to get your boss to think about your thinking. You are worrying about "What If" mind games that you put into your ASD gestalt. You went to your boss, and said basically, "I have a problem." She said what's your problem? You had no answer... well, what can I do for you to help you with your problem... nada. How does your problem affect you at work, she asks? But you have no answer... except you won't be eating treats when co-workers bring something in. No this isn't a good topic for you and your boss to get into.


_________________
Everything is falling.


SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,936

28 Oct 2015, 4:07 pm

tall-p wrote:
jimmyboy76453 wrote:
I told my boss at work about my ASD today. I've been thinking about it for a while, and I had a golden opportunity, so I did it. But I'm frustrated because I couldn't think of anything to say when she asked me what it was, what I needed, and what issues I might have. I should clarify that I don't need special considerations at my job. I can do it well already. And my boss is a nice person whom I respect and I believe she will treat me well. There have not yet been issues with my ASD, but I wanted her to know in case anything became an issue in the future. I didn't want something to happen, and then I tell her it's because I have ASD and then she thinks I'm lying to make excuses.
I told her it's a neurological condition and that Asperger's, HFA and other diagnoses have been put under the term ASD. I told her I might misunderstand someone of they might misunderstand me. I told her that I have a very specific food schedule that I don't like to change, which is why I don't want cookies or cake when someone brings them in.
But I couldn't think of anything else, and I'm frustrated because I've done so much research, and I have thought about this conversation many, many times, but it all went out of my head and I don't know what I should have said to make it better.

I know that everyone is different, and it will be very difficult to make suggestions since no one knows me exactly, but what is your opinion? What should I have said? What can I tell her?

I think you should never bring it up again. You are trying to get your boss to think about your thinking. You are worrying about "What If" mind games that you put into your ASD gestalt. You went to your boss, and said basically, "I have a problem." She said what's your problem? You had no answer... well, what can I do for you to help you with your problem... nada. How does your problem affect you at work, she asks? But you have no answer... except you won't be eating treats when co-workers bring something in. No this isn't a good topic for you and your boss to get into.


I was going to agree with StarTrekker, but then I read this and realized that Tall-p is absolutely right. Although well-meant, you drew attention to yourself and that's not a good idea. Go strong at work and only disclose if you have to, and then do what you did, give your own definition. I like StarTrekker's description though. If it ever comes up again, you might want to think about saying something like that.