how to deal with the realization?

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It's refreshing to read this forum; it's illuminating to read all the lengthy discussions and personal struggles y'all are dealing with.

I certainly can relate to a lot of it.

So the topic at hand; dealing with it all after testing into the spectrum although not properly diagnosed. That will take time. I need health insurance first.
(I'm on a smartphone, sorry if grammar is bad)

. Personally I feel very depressed. Like I don't won't to believe it although there is obviously something to it. Do I talk with my family? Is there anyone at all I can talk to?

. I'll spare all the details and ranting. I'd rather hear how learning about occupying the spectrum affected you at first and how you dealt with it?

From what I've read here, the general consensus seems to be that it's wisest not to tell other people right away.

Unfortunately, this goes against our straightforward, logical, literal approach to communication. It's just not in my nature to have a 'hidden agenda', or try to deceive other people, in order to gain social status.

My own attitude is that if people can't deal with the fact that I'm autistic, I have no interest in socializing with them anyway, so I just don't care what they think. But that's a decision we each have to make for ourselves, and family dynamics and work politics can make it trickier for a lot of people.

Good luck figuring out your own approach - and in the meantime you've come to the right place to talk about it!