Living at home and being drained by parents

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I live with my parents and they drain my energy like crazy. That makes it very hard to function. Since I have a hard time functioning I'm stuck living with parents.

Right now I'm trying to find ways to emotionally seperate from my family. One way is creating an alter ego and not telling my family about it.

They can still drain energy from me, but they can't drain energy from my alter ego. I step into my alter ego when I need to do stuff and I'm not interacting with my family.

My mom has a biased way of measuring how well I'm doing. When I'm connected to her she thinks I'm doing well. When I'm not connected to her she doesn't think I'm doing as well. Even when I'm happier and more productive.

*Sigh* My parents are NT, and my mother in particular is terrible about this. I too live with my family- which is terrible. My family does exactly what you talk about. They literally make it significantly harder to function. I do much better when I am by myself and don't have to be associated with them. However, I am without the means to live alone as of this moment. So, a bit of a catch 22 isn't it? I don't have an alter ego but I keep to myself mostly.

This is a very interesting topic. I live alone but my mother has been in and out of employment and comes to stay with me when she has nowhere else to go. She stayed with me a whole year last year and that drove me crazy and drained my energy as well as made me very depressed. She is now back and I am beginning to feel the negative effects of her being around me. She is an NT and thinks something is wrong with me when I pull away but I don't feel comfortable with her. she just does not understand me. Sadly, my sister, who is NT, will not take her in because she is selfish and my sister and her get into fights a lot. It really bogs me down that I am treated as a dumping grounds by my family. I am currently looking for ways to get her out of the house-even if that means driving her to interviews and telling her what to say.

I suggest that you really try as hard as you can to save up some money and move out. I know its easier said than done, but you don't want to be stuck with them for the rest of your life.

Isn't there a way to learn living independently in a group home with that goal?

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's not an easy place from which to try to build a new life.

One thing that I have learned from my own experience as an Aspie is that sometimes you have to make a decision between very imperfect outcomes. I'm not endorsing any particular option here, just making a general statement that is always a consideration in the society we live in. Your plan sounds good and feasible, but don't beat yourself up if you end up having to go with a backup plan, be it a group home or whatever.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of the right things. I imagine learning to drive in that environment must be really hard, but boy it will pay you massive dividends later. Learning social skills is all about observation and practice so getting a car and getting out of the house is a smart move. Just remember that improving your social skills is a process that will not happen overnight (as I know from experience). This is true whatever your starting point is. Keep that in mind as you are out there building a life for yourself and roll with the punches as they come.

Hang in there.

Entirely understand your predicament. I still feel drained every time I visit my one surviving parent. This is something you are going to have to deal with over your lifetime as I don't think your parents are going to change and I don't think whether living under their roof or living away from them is going to change their attitude towards you. I suggest that you carefully weigh up what your parents say and then do your own thing according to what you feel is right. Then don't blame them if it all goes wrong because you need to take responsibility for your own behaviour.