Does it sound like my 4 year old has aspergers?

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For the last couple of years my husband and I have been looking into what's different about our 4 year old. We have started to wonder if she has aspergers. She is due for a checkup in a few weeks but I would like to get some advice here.

My daughter never stopped moving in the womb. To this day she's still hyper. And she has major sleep issues. When she was a baby she never slept like a baby should and as a newborn was sometimes awake for 10 hours at a time without a nap. She used to throw up so many times I had to change her outfits 7 to 8 times a day. Now that she's four years old, she's still hyper, never stops moving and it still takes her 2 hours to fall asleep at night. She still occasionally randomly throws up. She can't stand the heat. We went to a birthday party and she was the only kid inside because it was too hot outside for her. She's sensitive to touch. Her socks and shoes have to be just right. She has to have everything cold, cold foods, cold baths. She has to redo things, like if I walk with her to her bedroom she will tell me "let's start from the beginning" and we have to redo it. She has major meltdowns over certain things. But never has a tantrum because she can't get a new toy or anything like that. She got so mad the other day she bit herself and left teeth marks in her arm. She can't cope with transitions. Since she has been 2 I have given her five minute warnings when something is about to change. She can't change her seat at the dinner table, can't deal with change etc. If she's coloring a page she has to finish it completely before she can move on. She spins almost every day for about 45 minutes.

She is smart, knows all abc's, phonics, colors, shapes etc and has done for a long time. She has an amazing memory and doesn't forget anything. Socially she loves to play with other kids. But a lot of times she will tell them how to play. She never stops talking. She's not introverted. She laughs a lot and loves to act silly.

In a way it sounds like aspergers but in another way she doesn't have one subject that she always talks about like mathematics etc. But she is obsessed with pretending to be a puppy.

I appreciate any replies

A lot of it sounds like ASD. The biting self and spinning is something I relate to along with other typical ASD behavior you listed. Her loving to play with other kids is the one thing that stands out as not typical ASD behavior. But you know the only way you're going to know is to get her diagnosed. There is stuff that is similar to aspergers.

It sounds like it could be ASD, or possibly ADHD: the two can be misidentified as each other, especially in young children. I wouldn't necessarily say that enjoying other childrens' company rules out AS; a lot of aspies like the company of others, they just don't know how to behave appropriately around their friends, the way you describe your daughter attempting to control the way by which the other children play. I would definitely mention these symptoms to her paediatrician during her next well-child visit (don't do it when she's sick, as the illness will be the doctor's primary focus, and he may not listen attentively to your concerns).

Generally speaking, special interests that a child studies exclusively and talks about exhaustively tend to develop as they grow older; many young autistics' special interests can be simple physical things, like spinning a particular toy around and around, fixating on specific objects such as light bulbs or man hole covers, and yes, pretending to imitate animals (I spent almost two years of my life as Garfield the cat between the ages of 10 and 12).

It might be ASD, it might not. It's hard to separate Asperger's from ADHD from KID when they're 4.

My son did a lot of that stuff (and had to be seriously pushed to interact with strange kids) when he was 4. I was, to say the least, concerned. More like absolutely certain, since I have it and it runs on both sides of my family.

Turned out to be ADHD and generalized anxiety. I'm probably the only mom in town who was bloody thrilled to get an ADHD diagnosis (twice, because I didn't believe the first one).

I can see ASD. I can see ADHD. I can maybe see a touch of OCD, in the need to repeat certain behaviors or activities until they're just SO. All tend to go with a lot of meltdowns (with ADHD it's a delayed development of impulse control; with OCD it's a blinding terror that bad things will happen if the ritual isn't followed correctly).

At 4, you may have a tough time getting a good diagnosis out of the pediatrician. There's a lot of neuropsychological hair splitting involved there. If you can afford it, ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist. I got a lot better information the second time-- out of the ped neuro-- than I got out of the guy with a psychology degree whose job was to place 1-on-1 aides with kids in the classroom and get Medicaid to pay for it all.

I'm STILL mad at that dick.

It could be ASD. Girls with ASD are slightly different to boys with ASD. When I was a little girl I was similar to your daughter, except I didn't spin around in circles and wasn't too compulsive with having to do certain things perfectly. But, like your daughter, I was sociable with other kids, although sometimes bossy with them too. I didn't have meltdowns, but I was still having tantrums at 10 years old, if I couldn't get what I wanted. I would sulk easily, and act like a spoilt brat. I never had obsessions (special interests) until I was at least 11-12.

But wait and see what the person at the appointment says. Some children can go through phases. I know a young man who is very NT with no Aspie traits, but when he was 4 he seemed more like 2. He was still messing his pants and had noticeable speech delays, and he didn't want to play with other children if they didn't play by his rules. It wasn't his upbringing because he had two older brothers (one was 2 years older and the other was 4 years older), and they didn't have speech delays and they were potty-trained by age 3, and they weren't awkward around their peers. But this little boy grew out of it when he got to about 8. The doctors found he had a bowel problem, which was the cause of his delayed development with bowel control. His speech suddenly improved when he got a bit of extra help at school, and he caught up socially and intellectually with his peers by 9, and had no more issues or difficulties. His parents had another baby boy when he was 5, and he didn't have any difficulties or oddities through babyhood, so it was not anything to do with how the parents brought him up.

But it is normal to feel concern for your child, because you love her. So just wait and see what the doctor (or whoever you're seeing) says, and if they seem unsure or reluctant to diagnose anything, then just wait a few more years to see if she improves or changes or grows out of any of these things.

Thank you all for your replies. She's actually just going for her 4 year well checkup with her pedi but I'm going to ask her to refer us to a specialist. We have seen stuff for a couple of years but still thought she would grow out of it but my parents are visiting from out the country and believe we should get her seen because they say it's not fair on her. The OCD thing is not extreme we usually only have to redo something once or twice at the most.

I forgot to mention she will still also lick surfaces every now and then. The other day it was the post office counter.

With socializing when she's at the park she will ask me if she can go play with someone I tell her of course and she stands there and quietly waves at them and says hi. But this could just be shyness. With her more familiar friends she gets upset if they don't play like she wants. Which could just be being a kid.

But if she has a meltdown she is in another world, almost starts hyperventilating, gets herself in such a state.

Just today when she normally gets up I'm normally in the kitchen but this time I was in bed so she pleaded with me to move to the kitchen and do it like normal. And she had to leave my room and get back in her own bed and start from the beginning and us do it right.

Sometimes I just think they're quirks but if it's more then I would like to get her diagnosed so her teachers will be understanding.

Thanks again I appreciate any more input.

I'm no expert....let me emphasize that!

I don't see ASD as much as I see possible Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or perhaps even a stubborn, "normal" 4-year-old.

She has friends, and she seems to play appropriately--if my impression is correct.

I hope you seek a diagnosis soon, so "treatment" could commence.

Especially since the brain is so "plastic" and flexible at a young age, it's better that she's diagnosed now, than later.

And I forgot to mention she covers her ears in restrooms. When she was a baby I could never change her in a public restroom because she would go nuts crying.

Sounds pretty "sensory" to me. There's something called "sensory integration disorder," I believe. This might be more applicable than the DSM 5 diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1.

As far as aspergers go, it isn't really something that can be accurately diagnosed until around age 5 or 6. They could, however, see if he is on the spectrum.

A big maybe - some things sound like autism spectrum disorder/asperger's but I was never, ever hyper as a kid. I was a quiet kid - kind of like a little professor.

Good luck - hopefully the specialist can help.

I'm the OP and I just wanted to give an update...my daughter was diagnosed with high functioning autism by a developmental behavioral specialist. She is now five years old.

When I originally wrote this post I said she didn't have an obsession, but that has changed! She has talked and obsessed about birds for the last year. And she constantly acts like a dog (crawling on the floor, hiking her leg , making dog noises). She's now doing occupational therapy and speech therapy.

I just wanted to give an update.