Emotional Shockwave

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Do any of you ever feel shocked speechless when you thought you were doing something nice and someone turns around and gets ANGRY at you? I mean your intentions are noble and the person just misinterprets everything and every word you say digs a deeper hole? This makes me so upset that I will almost shut down. Afterwards, I feel shame and self-loathing. I just HATE it and I can't completely avoid these situations no matter how carefully I try!

Yes. It's the story of my life.

Very upset, yes.

And it's happened more times that I would like. It's embarrassing and it's very traumatic.

One time I was trying to do something for my ex-wife's sister's computer, which had a nasty virus on it. I can't remember what it was I did wrong but she suddenly started yelling at me for doing something she asked me NOT to do.

I got so upset and embarrassed that I got up and walked back to our house, which was a good hour away on foot.

Yeah it happened recently with an AS friend...needless to say, I was left hurt and somewhat bewildered and had to take some minutes to calm down or I would have lashed out in total rage. It can tend to deter you from even trying to show any kindness to anyone, I must admit, but ah well. I guess some can misinterpret kindness, feel indebted or resent what they see as interference.

Shocked into silence,yes,but I am pretty used to it,so I dont spend to much time thinking about it(only hours now,not weeks).I dont usually beat myself up over it as long as I know my intentions werent bad,I am just a bad communicator and they are a bad interpreter....takes two to communicate.

Yeah, I hate it when that happens. Like just two weeks ago, I was visiting the models up at the front of my neighborhood with my Pom, Zack. (Darlene the seller loves him so she doesn't care if he goes into the houses). Anyway, there was this old lady that was walking in the other door as I was walking out. She took one look at me and said "brat". I didn't even do anything! It's her and many others that have given me an irrational fear of old ladies. Trust me, old ladies in my lifetime have not been nice!

Yes, that happens to me on occasion!

I do think part of the shock comes from having your reality questioned about something that you thought was grounded.Like when you know that 2+2=4 and they tell you that it not only equels 5 but you are rude to say otherwise......Kind of feels like some one slipped you some acid and the floor is moving up to meet your feet when you thought you were the one walking.

Well, it used to.... until I realized that I tend to think more logically than NTs seem to.

For example, I was at a friend's house for dinner. She was cooking. When I cook at home I don't wash up as I go along but make a big mess and then clean up after I eat, even though the mess seems overwhelming then and I often just leave it... for days. But at her house it suddenly occured to me that I could HELP by starting the washing up as she was cooking, so that's what I started to do. She didn't say anything but just kept cooking. Suddenly she shouted "Just sit down, will you?" I was shocked and must have looked it, because she said she'd been 'hinting' that she didn't want me in the kitchen. Like I could catch the hints....

Anyway, I've learned to ask if there's anything I can do before I just jump in. The quote I remind myself of when I'm tempted to help is: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

Also, big surprise, NTs like to do things THEIR WAY, too!!

That's the way I feel it, Krex. It's as if reality has suddenly sucker punched me. Misreading nonverbal communication in some cases results in the floor moving. It's painful for me to make such misjudgments.

People are very silly. Hints are a terrible way of getting what you want. I don't think anyone ever teaches their kids to be direct.

There are times I just want to walk out of all society and close the door.

Yes. It happens to me. Especially when I become convinced that I can finally read eyes, faces and body language, then get some incredibly emotional reaction to something I've done. I quickly realize I can't read any non-verbal communication at all. It's always better for me to just tell them I can't. They seem to get less upset.

To put it simply, yes. I hate that feeling! Just when I think I have everything figured out and I'm trying to be amiable and happy, that spirit gets sucked right out of me by somebody snapping back at my behavior. It unsettles me further to realize I may have rubbed people in the wrong way in the past without any indication. Brrrrr. Shivers!