Hate being asked "How are you doing today?"

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It seems that I am constantly asked "How are you?" by those I come in contact with on a daily basis. I have been sick nearly every day for months on end and I am expected by society to lie and say "I'm doing fine" when I am not. I would just rather I wasn't constantly asked this stupid question in everyday interactions with people. Anyone else relate?

Yes...it's really just a social more, a way of expressing that one is thinking about the person one is speaking with, even if an actual answer isn't usually wanted.

I've often wondered what people would do if, in response to their asking "How are you?" I answered, "A little worried, actually. Honestly, these menstrual cramps are killing me and I'm concerned about my tampon even though I have backup. I mean dear God the FLOW, Red River Valley, anyone? The rest of my day is going okay, though."

At least the visual of the person's face in response gives me a smile. So there's that.

Yeah, I can relate.

Although, sometimes I'm the one asking people how they are, but don't expect an elaborate response.

But I'm ok with a response like "could be better, but let's stay positive".
I think most people would be.
Of course if you go "smash the negativity in their face" it's gonna be different lol.

The thing is nowadays I'm not really stressed out, so I have better tolerance for s**t like this... my view may be a little skewed, I fear.

I wish I could respond with "I'm really tired, and I need help.". But, alas, no.

I hate it too. I am so tired of going through this routine with people, it just makes me feel like screaming.

I don't mind it so much when people just say it as a greeting, as a rhetorical question that needs no particular response, roughly equivalent to saying hello. What irritates me is when they actually want a response, and seem to expect a really cheerful response.

The worse variation is "how is your day going?" Today this girl said it in a drive-thru, and I just mumbled "okay" or something because I wasn't halfway paying attention (I was surreptitiously fiddling with my phone trying to get their wifi long enough to download something). I guess I didn't look cheery enough because she said she hoped my day would get better. I'm sure she meant well but it came across as really condescending, like "you poor thing."

This has driven me crazy for a long time.

At stores for example, the cashier will say "hi, how are you?" and I'll either say "fine, thanks" but not ask back and then feel rude, or I will say "fine, thanks, how are you?" but then those times they act like I wasn't supposed to and either won't answer and instead will just tell me what I owe them, and I'll stand there feeling as though the conversation is only half over yet they're dismissing me, or else they'll answer and so I'll reply back about a similar thing that I am feeling or have experienced before and then they REALLY act like I'm overstepping boundaries.

Or the newest thing that's happened to me TWICE lately is that someone will ask and I'll say "good, thanks, how are you?" and the guy at Barnes and Noble replied to me "Superman does good. I'm doing *well* thanks."

Like, seriously? Superman does good. This guy does WELL. Apparently I can say that I"m doing great, but I can't say that I'm doing good. There is some grammatical issue with good but not with great. Oh, alright then. Whatever.

I just don't get people, I swear.

LOL NowhereWoman

"How are you doing today" doesn't scare me at all. I've got that one nailed. "I'm fine, thank you!"

What scares me is the next question - which doesn't follow a nice, neat predictable script - and I will have no idea how to answer it, so the conversation will quickly degenerate into awkwardness and confusion.

If it's a semi-social situation and the second question is "So, what do you do?" then my husband has that reply nailed. He says "about what?" and while they're standing there with their mouth hanging open, we escape.

Haha brilliant!

Sorry Noca - got sidetracked by the replies and forgot to answer your original question!

I've had Lyme disease for 23 years, and live with chronic pain and exhaustion every day, so I know how that goes. People expect you to smile, and assure them you feel great, no matter what. Sorry you're going through that too... I certainly hope you feel better soon, but if it's a chronic thing, all I can say is you get used to it after a while.

Wow! what a jerk!

This stuff drives me crazy too. Not sure why it should even matter to me if some random person in a store I will likely never see again asks how I'm doing. It just feels fake and forced most of the time so it doesn't feel good. On the other hand if they act weird about it, it makes me not want to go back to that place again.

Yeah it is the lying part, I am obligated to lie and tell them I feel fine or good, ugh. I wish there was another greeting people could use instead.

What bothers me is when it feels like people who ask the question are lying, because I don't think they really care that much how others are doing. And all it does is remind me that I don't have someone waiting for me at home who actually really cares how I'm doing.

When someone asks me how I'm doing, I just honestly answer how I'm doing. Lately the answer has frequently been, "I'm sleepy". Bipolar-style sleeping schedules are a drain on energy.

Grr, this is such a small thing but it's so annoying, as others have said and so too for me, because of the lying part. I swear I can't physically lie. I even avoided buying a joke tshirt that read "last clean tshirt" because I would't have been able to wear it unless it WAS my last clean tshirt.
People who usually ask this are shop people. They ask "hi how are you today?" And I just smile tightly and say "hello." I'm not going to get into this whole ridiculous exchange, and as I am never just "fine" I can't say so. It's a complicated question with a complicated answer if you're being honest about it, not just making noises for the sake of making them.

I haven't had to put up with this one in a long time due to very few social situations but damn that annoys me. Because it implies they are initiating this whole judgy social pyramid crap where what job you do determines how good you are in a social sense. Like many autistics I find holding a job difficult so am either unemployed or working a job I dislike and don't want to talk about, so this question is moot.

I can totally relate! I don't get the "how are you doing today" a lot, I suppose here in Norway it's more common to just say "hi" or "hello". But whenever I get the question, I answer "I'm doing fine", but I keep thinking I sound fake. If I'm really not fine, I can't fake it anyway. And if I'm abroad, in a shop and the person behind the till asks me "so how are you doing today?", I am totally taken aback because it feels like a very personal questions and I don't know this person! I lived in England a couple of years, where it's common to say "all right?" as way of greeting, and the proper response is to say "allright!". The first time someone said "all right" to me I started saying "I'm doing, fine, thanks, how are you?" and got a couple of funny looks and a laugh, but they brushed it off because I was foreign.