Non Verbal Learning Disability misdiagnoses think i have AS?

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ive been diagnosed with NLD since ive been a kid. Im now 20 and the past few years have struggled greatly. I have always known ive been different but alot of traits of NLD do not apply to me i can read peoples facial expressions fine, im able to tell if someone is upset with me by tone of voice motor skills arent the best but that applies to both AS and NLD. I have been in denial about having NLD for a very long time i have my family saying i do have it and a psychiatrist saying i do have it but i get VERY hard on myself about it and cant seem to accept it. But on the other hand my friends and girlfriend all say i dont think you have that but i am horrible at small talk like i dont understand how to continue a conversation unless im talking about something very deep or intellectual, im horrible for talking over people but part of me realizes this i dont know if this falls into the AS category but i have obsessed over aliens and blood types for years and on quite a few occasions go on big rants about it. my whole family says im a hypocondriac, im diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, adhd and Major Depressive Disorder i have a very good verbal memory but very much so think in pictures. But i have socially withdrawn and hate myself i have felt like an alien ever since i was a little kid. Alot of times i feel im destined to be alone. The number one song that i say is my song is legacy by eminem. I cant shake this feeling of complete indifference to everybody around me im extremely intellectual but very bad socially meeting new people is hell for me.

i have become what people would call a loner and im very hesitant to change of my regular routine. i have actually gotten to the point of being alone so often that i much rather like my alone time. i cant shake this deep feeling inside me that one day i will take my own life.