Empathy, Theory of Mind, Mentalising - what's going on?

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Hi
**so you're reading this bit first, but I wrote it last. One of my 'problems' is I am too succinct So please accept my apologies in advance if anything you go on to read seems a bit blunt/off. I'm guessing you can understand and are capable of filling in the blanks!**
So I've come to realise over the years that I don't quite think the same as the people around me. It frustrates me and annoys them, but that's fine, differences exist and I no longer get as angry about it as I used to. Apparently I don't feel the right way about some things and often say something inappropriate. I often think I say the truth and other people are just being polite, but maybe they do actually care about things that don't move me.
So, I've been trying to go through all the ASD research to get to the bottom of empathy and theory of mind and how we just don't 'process it right'. And it's a mess! People approach the topic from different perspectives and with different preconceived notions about what's wrong with us. So, I thought I could do my own research.... gulp.....
I think I should try to keep it simple at first and then delve deeper based on what turns up. Make sense? To that end, I was hoping you could all help me and maybe we could work through this together. At this point, I don't want to get bogged down with labels and terms, just basic ideas and feelings. I'd like to get an idea of how we each think about others and 'feel' in emotional situations. I'll start off by trying to summarise how I process things and then ask you to respond with how you think. Is that OK?

I can usually understand what someone else is thinking and feeling and why they are feeling that way (as long as I have a context for reference)
I can often predict what someone will do next (again, when there is context)
The 'problem' is that I probably won't care or become outwardly (or inwardly) emotional
In group situations where everyone is cheering or gasping etc in unison, I don't join in
I don't like it when people are overly emotional around me (although I am 'better' if people are angry than upset)
I don't want to comfort them - verbally or physically - If I have to, it feels like a burden
I don't feel moved when I see things like adverts on the TV showing me dying children, disaster victims etc ***
I can appreciate it must suck for them, but I don't feel anything
However, anything to do with animals suffering is unbearable for me. I can't watch adverts for animal charities where they show (image or sound) animals in pain
I never cry during emotional films etc and don't really like watching person centred dramas
But again, I love animal programmes and can't stop myself from crying when something bad happens
I don't really use emotional (unless its about being angry) language (so people often think I'm cold, and sometimes, they're right)
I don't think its a bad thing that I don't 'feel' loads for other people, it doesn't stop me from understanding their position

***It's these sort of things where people tell me I'm a bad person. But I can't make myself feel. Then I wonder whether these good people actually do feel or whether they say they do because it's the right thing to do. I get lost with whether people actually do feel/think what they say they do or just pretend in order to be the same as everyone else and demonstrate that they are decent people...

That's probably enough of me going on!
It'd be really great if you could describe how you feel about 'the other', what moves you and what doesn't. Hopefully we can get enough information together to put some pieces together and see where to go next.
Any help would be excellent
Thanks!! !!

i usualy dont know what others are thinking and cant predict their behavior
i dont use much emotional language

I actually relate to some of what you write. It's not that I don't care about people, because I really do feel that other people's well being is important but sometimes I just do not get moved when perhaps I should?! Sometimes hearing about disasters doesn't move me, it's like an anonymous biological mass that I cannot relate to. Then I try to imagine how it must be being a single individual in such a mass and that helps me understand. Yet other times, I get really angry or upset about the unfairness experienced by others, such as when I watched Schindler's list. I too kind of sometimes feel that people get upset unnecessarily and that it's a burden to comfort them, but I still do my very best because I know it matters to them.