Whining & Excuses

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Searched Youtube; found this video.
Discuss.

I think he is right and really funny. I agree totally. If there are things you legitimately can't do than you can recognize them and respect them. If there are things that you could do if you put in HUGE MONUMENTAL effort than you need to be honest about it and if you just don't want to do something for whatever reason, you just need to be honest about that too. I think people really respect honesty. What you are capable of doing or not doing is really not as important. I think what people react to and call BS is when we are not honest about things. I think that is what he is talking about and I agree with that.

I heard a mom tell one of her coworkers the other day that she had to drive her kid to school because she is Autistic. Then she said, she's three. This is one of those situations where if I was the mom I probably would have said, "I have to drive my kid to school because she's three," and left it at that. Now when I was three, they just put me on the school bus with everyone else but where we lived 45 years ago you could do that. Now you really can't. But that was one situation where I asked myself, is Autism really the issue here? Maybe she is super sensitive to who drives her and it has to be mom. But mom could also be a single parent, I just don't know. But without knowing any more details, I just thought to myself, this might be a situation where Autism does not have to be an excuse for the reason you have to drive your three year old to school. Bottom line is she is three and you have to drive her to school because she can't get herself there.

The mom was was saying it more in the context of she has to take her kid to school. Whether it's on a bus or a plane or a submarine or a car, she has to take her kid to school regardless of whether she is Autistic or not. That was the issue I had with her sentence. Her kid is three. She has to take her to school because a three year old has to be taken to school. It does not matter whether the three year old has Autism she still can't get to school by herself. That was my only issue with that. In my personal opinion she could have just said, "I have to take my kid to school because she is three." I just did not feel that Autism had to be reason you had to use to justify why you have to take a three year old to school.

Now if she meant that she, specifically, as opposed to anyone else on the planet, had to take her kid to school then Autism might be a justification. Like if her kid, for some Autistic reason, only accepts to be driven to school by her. But most three year olds have to be taken to school whether they have Autism or not. So I just found it odd that she had to use Autism to justify why she had to take her kid.

And I don't think the guy in the video ever said that you can't do something ever just because you can't so it now. I did not get that impression. I think he was trying to stress that there are things that people legitimately can't do but there are things that they can do if they make huge amounts of effort. Those particular things are up to the individual to know and decide as he understands himself. What I got from the video is something that I say myself all the time to myself and to other people. What is important is that you are honest about the reality of what you can and can't do vs what you are not willing to make the added effort to do. Those things are very different.

There are some people who legitimately are not capable of making friends. There is nothing wrong with that perse. But there are others who can make a friend if they make the accommodations and really do the work that needs to be done and the friend does the work as well that he or she needs to do. It is possible sometimes. But in that case it might simply not be worth the effort. I think this is what he is saying. It's okay to be honest and it is important to be honest if something is not worth the effort. I think that is the message he is trying to get across. That was my impression anyway.

Well on her (the mother) specifically, perhaps nobody else wanted to take the kid to school? When I was 3 my parents never took me because both of them worked full time (and still do), so I'd get taken by other parents (and driven because it was several kilometres). But I was mildly autistic, and wasn't diagnosed then. Maybe she doesn't trust other parents, or maybe other parents don't trust themselves, or some sort of combination, which is why it has to be the mother specifically. In the case that there are other parents available to take the kid then being 3 is not reason enough - being autistic would be, however.