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Cherokee
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29 Sep 2006, 8:48 pm

Not only do I not like to be touched, but a lot of times it really bugs me if people are near me at all (especially certain people). Is anyone else like this? I’m not sure if this is part of my AS or just something completely irrational. A lot of times I will ask people to give me space and this bugs them, which makes me feel guilty.



Fraya
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29 Sep 2006, 9:05 pm

Actually thats odd because its usually the other way around.

Having a personal space "bubble" is normal and most of us lack that unless we are conciously trying to cater to the NTs irrationality.

If Im not paying attention Ill stand way too close to people for their comfort but generally the only problem I have with people being near me is worrying that they will touch me (which is probably your problem).

Its probably not them being near you that bothers you its the fact that the closer they are the more likely they are to touch you.


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walk-in-the-rain
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29 Sep 2006, 9:14 pm

Cherokee wrote:
Not only do I not like to be touched, but a lot of times it really bugs me if people are near me at all (especially certain people). Is anyone else like this? I’m not sure if this is part of my AS or just something completely irrational. A lot of times I will ask people to give me space and this bugs them, which makes me feel guilty.


I also do not like strangers especially near me and will even avoid going down a shopping aisle that has people in it or will wait until they have moved far enough from what I want before I get the item. This may be more OCD related however but I also think that sensory issues can contribute to this - ie you don't like to be touched so therefore you have a heightened sensitivity for that potential.

And I am not really sure about this being competely opposite from AS because although some people with AS may have difficulty with intruding into "other" people's personal space that doesn't mean it is a universal Aspie trait or that peope with AS are unable to determine their own comfort zone. So if you are approaching someone else the person unable to properly determine boundaries may either stand too close (or too far?) to be considered appropriate. Also if it was strictly being close than that is very acceptable in certain cultures so then it would not be considered part of an inability to "read" or conform to social cues.



Claradoon
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29 Sep 2006, 9:28 pm

Are there 2 different kinds of situation? In a crowd of strangers, I could explode from having people close to me. But in a one-on-one conversation, I am likely to disregard boundaries. It sounds a bit like 'all or nothing' doesn't it?



Starbuline
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29 Sep 2006, 9:31 pm

Claradoon I do the same thing too.



AlexUK
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29 Sep 2006, 9:50 pm

I find just walking a major operation. But i do have major problems with space like in a shop or cafe like if im crowded i will freeze and be unable to look around in sheer fear of eye contact or unnessasary verbal contact......

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29 Sep 2006, 10:25 pm

My mother told me lot of people don't like people standing near them. Why do you think someone is standing way away from you when you are at a vending machine or at a ATM, looking at the map, putting money in the bank etc. So I have been working on personal space.



DrGonzo
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29 Sep 2006, 10:32 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Are there 2 different kinds of situation? In a crowd of strangers, I could explode from having people close to me. But in a one-on-one conversation, I am likely to disregard boundaries. It sounds a bit like 'all or nothing' doesn't it?


I'm the same way. If i'm around people that i know and trust i tend to stand closer than they would like. People sometimes have to tell me to step back a little bit. At the same time i can't stand for strangers to stand too close, i get a lot of anxiety if it seems that people that i don't know are crowding me.



werbert
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29 Sep 2006, 10:44 pm

My personal bubble is the size of the Earth. I hate it when people in California, South Africa, Bolivia, and France stand so close to me.

I don't like it because I am afraid the other person will want to strike up a conversation with me. However, if it is a female, my irritation is inversely proportional to her beauty.



29 Sep 2006, 11:01 pm

Of course if you're standing in line like at a checkout or waiting in line at a movie theater to buy tickets or it's real crowded somewhere like on a elevator, it's different then because its when you can stand close to people.



rainbird
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29 Sep 2006, 11:09 pm

i can't stand going in aisles with other people either. for me other people's presence is an itchy electrical feeling. I believe it is my own bio-electric field standing out around my body at about 36 inches all directions. If someone elses energy cuts through it i feel rage and anxiety, like i was touched or jostled, even though no one actually touched me at all. I also have an unerring sense of navigation/orientation to magnetic North and can dowse water and electric lines. Anyone else this sensitive or share this feeling?

this is my first post
(scared)



Starbuline
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29 Sep 2006, 11:19 pm

You're not alone rainbird! Don't be scared, this place is wonderful. :)



werbert
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29 Sep 2006, 11:21 pm

Are you part shark, rainbird?



rainbird
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29 Sep 2006, 11:54 pm

Not a pool-shark. too clumsy. Not a loan shark, too poor. No sharkskin suits, i hate the feel.
well, i have always lived within 20 miles of the Pacific ocean and i can imitate gulls flawlessly, but, not, i'm a simple vegetarian, i hate the taste of coppertone SPF 30.

8)



werbert
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30 Sep 2006, 12:01 am

I hate the taste of Coppertone SPF 30, too. Unfortunately, beef stroganoff doesn't taste quite the same without it.



Mnemosyne
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30 Sep 2006, 12:28 am

I'm the same way (with the hating other people to be near me) and always thought it was odd considering the "aspies lack an understanding of personal space" thing that you always see. As far as I'm concerned, all the "normal" people lack an understanding of personal space. If I can't put out both my arms and spin around without touching someone, you're too close to me.

For me, I think it comes down to sensory issues a lot. The closer someone stands to me, the more I can smell them and hear them. I hate to be able to hear someone swallow. Or sniff with their nose. And I really don't like smelling other people, even if they don't smell bad.