Almost forty years old and have never wanted a girlfriend?

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It doesn't bother me that I don't have a girlfriend, it just concerns me about why I am so different to most people. I am heterosexual in terms of what turns me on etc, but I could never dream of becoming intimate with a real person. Maybe it is an area that I will eventually develop (as people tell me) but I really don't think it will ever happen. I was just wondering if any others on here felt the same way.

I am 44 and have never had a date in my entire life. just like you. I really don't care for it. Just doesn't interest me. But I think that you will find that over 90% of the people on this forum are in the same boat as we are.

I am only married because my husband convinced me. My very first kiss ever was my wedding alter kiss at the age of 34 and the only reason I am still married is because I committed to my husband and I believe in making every effort to keep the commitment. I do love my husband very much and I believe he is a great man and I am honored that he sticks with me. But honestly, if anything ever happens and God forbid he were to pass away, I have no desire to date or marry again. I was not into it before I married and I would be very content to live my life without ever having a romantic relationship again. Now that I have a husband, I enjoy when he is romantic which is pretty much almost never, but it does not bother me if he's not. I suck at sex and I don't like it and I don't even really like kissing. But I do love my husband and will do my best to meet his needs because I love him. But if God needed him back I would not look for another one. You are definitely not alone in this. Don't feel like it's weird, it's not.

<--- Never had a serious relationship.
<--- Never got married.
<--- Never had kids.
<--- Never had sex with a woman; did do it one time with a guy, though.

If I met someone and we hit it off, having a relationship like that would be nice. So far that hasn't happened though so I just remain a bachelor.

I did have a girlfriend, married her and had kids. Now I'm thinking I bit off more than I can chew. A relationship with another person ultimately calls for a commitment, and that commitment requires compromise between the wants and needs of the two people. I made some decisions I regret because of compromise. By all means date, get your emotional and sexual needs met, but if you are a fiercely independent person a long term relationship may not be advisable. In other words, you are not missing out on much by not having relationships! Put that stuff off until you are over 65, so you can have someone around to cal the paramedics when you fall and can't get up.

I'm the same way. Relationships are a low priority. I find it hard to imagine being in a relationship. It would not bother me if I never had sex again. it all seems foreign to me.

I used to be bothered by this a great deal. Now I am more accepting of it. I guess it's because there are plenty of other people like me on wrongplanet.

Perhaps your aRomantic. aRomantics don't experience romantic attraction. I was aRomantic till I got in my 1st relationship & sense then I had a strong desire to be in a relationship.

I personally went from very indifferent (even though I have always been attracted to females) to very interested at the age of 28. Before that, I never went on a date, never kissed or hugged a woman and my biggest fear about marriage was having to kiss. On the lips. In public. It would have been comforting to know at the time I was not alone because it sure felt like it.

I have lived the opposite life to you, but even though I'm not like you, I believe strongly that you shouldn't feel the need to be different from the way you naturally are. If you're not interested, don't worry -- that's the right thing for you and it's completely okay. Don't let anyone or society pressure you to feel or behave in a way that you don't yourself feel or want to be.

I have not been asexual or a-romantic in my younger years, as I was genuinely sexual and romantic in my nature, but I none the less think asexual or a-romantic people should be more accepted generally and not be made to feel there's something wrong with them.

I'll tell you one thing -- it sure does "free you up" to do more interesting things in life! I can say that because as I get older, i have lower hormone levels and I'm more asexual now than I've been in my life, and it's incredibly freeing. It's freeing not to care about attraction and relationships anymore. I never was good at flirting, either doing it myself or interpreting it, so it's great not to have to care about that struggle anymore. It's great not to have a relationship because my time is entirely my own in which to pursue interests of my own.

When I was more sexual it was real and was a genuine part of me, but I look back now and think CHRIST what a stressful waste of time, too! It's nice to live asexually now, and the fact that you already naturally are this way is going to save you a LOT of heartache, trust me.

Enjoy the freedom of not having those feelings -- they tend to cost more dearly (figuratively) than they're worth in life.

Yes, it is more common than you would think. The main thing is to realize that you are not wrong in how you live your life, even if others judge you for it being different. It is not their life to live, it is your life to live.

As a young adult, I wanted a girlfriend and tried to date. But, there was always a problem with the "emotional connection." We go out for a few weeks and she would want more than I had to give. I tried to stir away from women at work. Those situations got awkward. Regrets, yes, missed opportunities, yes. I watch couples and I get jealous. That is life.

it just concerns me about why I am so different to most people

There are a number of elements to be considered.

Males in particular have a chemical drive to varying degrees. For some this drive is low and little interest in relationships may follow. For others there is a high level of drive, but no opportunity for expression. Often these may use something like licorice root to help curb the drive.

Aspies may have a romantic or affection desire but little way of seeing how that can be achieved. Others may feel no desire for affection or romance.

Some may desire a family others just companionship.

The biggest problem comes from trying to pretend that you don’t have an interest, when it is the result of not seeing any way to achieve the desire. Honesty is the best approach. If someone wants a family but is terrified or inept at approaching people to determine reciprocal romantic interest, then one should put the work in to get better rather than pretend the interest is not there.

I didn’t get married until I was 43, but I am glad I did.