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How do you cope with people not responding to you?

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Velociraptor
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06 Dec 2015, 5:52 pm

I started a new job recently and in the beginning people seemed social towards me. I couldn't always be the same way back but I would smile, nod, say a few phrases here and there. Now though I have noticed very odd reactions towards me from the majority off my co-workers. When we are walking past each other, where they used to give me a fist bump or say hi or something, instead has been replaced with glances to the floor or off to the side. It's like they're purposefully trying to avoid me.

I honestly do not understand it and feel like I should completely shut off and ignore everyone and not even look at them and instead pretend they don't exist.

One guy used to joke, I didn't really get the jokes, now just looks away.

I learned over time the social expectation when two people are passing each other. I have to put effort to do that so it angers me greatly that I am actively trying just to be treated as if I don't exist. It's absolutely baffling. I really don't understand it.

I don't think I should have angered anyone, I don't talk all that much. I acknowledge people, say hi, or nod.



goatfish57
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06 Dec 2015, 5:56 pm

Scanner wrote:
I started a new job recently and in the beginning people seemed social towards me. I couldn't always be the same way back but I would smile, nod, say a few phrases here and there. Now though I have noticed very odd reactions towards me from the majority off my co-workers. When we are walking past each other, where they used to give me a fist bump or say hi or something, instead has been replaced with glances to the floor or off to the side. It's like they're purposefully trying to avoid me.

I honestly do not understand it and feel like I should completely shut off and ignore everyone and not even look at them and instead pretend they don't exist.

One guy used to joke, I didn't really get the jokes, now just looks away.

I learned over time the social expectation when two people are passing each other. I have to put effort to do that so it angers me greatly that I am actively trying just to be treated as if I don't exist. It's absolutely baffling. I really don't understand it.

I don't think I should have angered anyone, I don't talk all that much. I acknowledge people, say hi, or nod.


Have you tried to control your facial expression? Putting on a happy face when you encounter people makes them more comfortable and an honest compliment works wonders.

It is not easy when we feel unwanted.


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Rdos: ND 133/200, NT 75/200

Not Diagnosed and Not Sure


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Velociraptor
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06 Dec 2015, 6:18 pm

goatfish57 wrote:
Scanner wrote:
I started a new job recently and in the beginning people seemed social towards me. I couldn't always be the same way back but I would smile, nod, say a few phrases here and there. Now though I have noticed very odd reactions towards me from the majority off my co-workers. When we are walking past each other, where they used to give me a fist bump or say hi or something, instead has been replaced with glances to the floor or off to the side. It's like they're purposefully trying to avoid me.

I honestly do not understand it and feel like I should completely shut off and ignore everyone and not even look at them and instead pretend they don't exist.

One guy used to joke, I didn't really get the jokes, now just looks away.

I learned over time the social expectation when two people are passing each other. I have to put effort to do that so it angers me greatly that I am actively trying just to be treated as if I don't exist. It's absolutely baffling. I really don't understand it.

I don't think I should have angered anyone, I don't talk all that much. I acknowledge people, say hi, or nod.


Have you tried to control your facial expression? Putting on a happy face when you encounter people makes them more comfortable and an honest compliment works wonders.

It is not easy when we feel unwanted.


I smile, and compliments I don't really get. It took me a while to know just how to respond when one is given, let alone giving them out.



dianthus
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06 Dec 2015, 6:29 pm

Scanner wrote:
I don't think I should have angered anyone, I don't talk all that much.


Not talking much actually could be the reason. They may not be angry with you, or deliberately ignoring you. Sometimes when a person is quiet or not very sociable, other people just gradually stop talking to them. They may not even realize they are doing it.

If it was a sudden change though, I'd be cautious, there might be something going on behind the scenes you don't know about. It may not have anything to do with you personally, could be there is some drama or s**t stirring going on between those people. Also if you are a good worker, or management really likes you, or you get a special schedule or something, people can get resentful over things like that.



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Velociraptor
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06 Dec 2015, 6:38 pm

dianthus wrote:
Scanner wrote:
I don't think I should have angered anyone, I don't talk all that much.


Not talking much actually could be the reason. They may not be angry with you, or deliberately ignoring you. Sometimes when a person is quiet or not very sociable, other people just gradually stop talking to them. They may not even realize they are doing it.

If it was a sudden change though, I'd be cautious, there might be something going on behind the scenes you don't know about. It may not have anything to do with you personally, could be there is some drama or s**t stirring going on between those people. Also if you are a good worker, or management really likes you, or you get a special schedule or something, people can get resentful over things like that.


Management does not like me, not at all.

I do my work, I don't socialize much but I can appreciate socialization. I don't mind it, I am a social person. I think perhaps a number of us are this way.

I am pretty social I like to socialize with people but I really don't know how so I don't, but depending on the person things can go smoothly and I really don't mind.

I know there is a lot of drama, people are always talking about how terrible the managers are (and they truly are, at least for my area) they've seen how the managers treat me so there is absolutely no special treatment there.

Slowly this is all becoming too much for me, I really thought I could deal with working a job like this but I just can't. I'm starting to get headaches (same headaches I get when I'm out with people and processing everything) it's become too tasking. I would rather a desk job (which would also pay double what I make now); however, with school I need the flexibility...