Do I really have PDD/AS/ASD? Or just NVLD, anxiety etc.?

Post Reply New Topic

I have the diagnosis of Asperger syndrome since about 6 years. My school founded me it, I was in specialistic centre which diagnoses ASD. My mental health situation should be not so good... They gave me the diagnosis of AS (F84.5) quite easily in that centre.

I have marked dyssemia since early childhood (very poor eye contact, inadequate facial expression, gestures, interpersonal distances etc.). I had serious troubles with social interactions, especially making friends. I think that I have some sort of social and emotional "dysreciprocity" - rather idiosyncratic and limited social needs, tendency to be boring for other (very "nerdy"...).

But I think that I am not so rigid and inflexible. I do not remember so much from my early childhood. I have somewhat wide range of my special, atypical interests. As a child I read for example cookbook, encyclopedias, manual. Some of my first special interests were road signs in early childhood (magic from Poland, who wrote more than 1000 posts few years ago, also had very similar interest in road signs as a child, I read about it in Polish AS forum), I was quite quirky, I "tend to" sit near the window in the bus to observe them (which may be annoying) when I was younger (to about 15 years), I liked to draw them (maybe even full notebooks). I liked maps since about 6 -7 years and like them still. I watched at the same map really much times. Now I have "craze" about AS and similar conditions, which I named colectively "aucorigia".

When I was very young (about 4 years old) I had peculiar customs ("rituals") - not to use some vehicles because of "something", they was "shameful" to me, it is maybe not so easy to describe. I had also other examples of "inadequate shame" - I did not want to say some normal words beacuse they might sound "ugly" or "rude". I had "magical compulsions" (magical thinking) since about 7 years old. At about 13 - 15 they were quite severe, I had very much magical compulsions which are weird.

Here is my topic about my bizarre perversions which I have since my childhood (attention, it is digusting): http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt270095.html I think that it is complex paraphilia which I associate with some type of PDD.

I have moral doubts about my diagnosis. Was I misdiagnosed? Is it just "social NLD" (I think that "social NLD" is a misnamed type of Aspieness, PDD, not a learning disability). Can I be regarded as a person which is disabled due to a pervasive developmental disorder? Can I get "papers" about the "level of disability" (in Polish "stopień niepełnosprawności") due to PDD? If I have not a PDD, having such a privilege would be not so fair.

I have not so much time and have to quit that post. I think that I later wrote next posts in this topic about my symptoms.

What do I have? Does anyone think that I have just NLD or other "milder" disorder?

If someone thinks that I do not have PDD/AS(D), I was interesting why. I have doubts about my AS because of my flexibility. I think I am really flexible. I had MANY different special interests. Not one. I think that my developmental disorder may be not etiologically related to Kanner's autism at all.

Does someone think that I have a good example of something named as "social NLD"? There is a text about this syndrome, which is under wrong, misleading name to me:

There are many children with NLD who present primarily with social skills problems and difficulties with interpersonal interactions. These may manifest as problems making or keeping friends; inappropriate social behaviours (e.g., "weird" behaviour in the classroom, unsuitable conversation, etc.); lack of understanding of personal space, boundary and privacy issues; difficulty maintaining social conversation (e.g., use of adult jargon with other children, inability to take turns in conversation, etc.); "loner" personality; fixation on certain topics or interests out of the normal range for their age group, and so on. Unless their behaviours are disruptive in the classroom, they are more commonly referred by concerned parents than by their teachers. These children are frequently being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, particularly if they are not showing any obvious history of early language difficulties. It is felt to be very important to examine these children's cognitive profiles very carefully in order to distinguish S-NLD children from those who are more autistic-like, and/or from those whose social problems stem from environmental factors, such as inappropriate or inconsistent parenting, chaotic family background, deprivation, or other related social or behavioural factors.

http://www.access.resources.ldao.ca/mai ... dition.pdf (page 41)

Do you think than in North America I would NOT receive diagnosis of Asperger's, pervasvive developmental disorder, autism spectrum disorder, but (rather) ("social") subtype of NVLD?

I think that the name "social NLD" is silly and stupid, I think that it is a mild PDD ("Nerd syndrome") described here: http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/Article ... ldren.aspx (Kids Called Nerds: Challenge and Hope For Children With Mild Pervasive Developmental Disorders). I have rather learning "hyperability" than "disability". School learning was often really easy for me, even pleasant.

So I think that I do not have any (even really mild) form classical autism spectrum disorder due to flexibility of my mind. I think that I not have a learning disability, but an unknown and misnamed mild pervasive developmental disorder which may be nicknamed as "nerd syndrome".

I saw that it was written that I said first word when I was only 7 months old and even said first "phrase" very early - when I was only 10 months old. I had some perinatal issues - illness of mother before childbirth, "dystrophy", bad ratio of birth weight (2150 g) to body length (53 cm) - below 5th centile.

No doubt in my mind, I'm an Aspie!!

First time I got diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (and after I found out it was a form of Autism) I rebelled and refused to believe it.

Years later, after I was diagnosed the second time by a different psychiatrist who knew nothing of my first diagnosis, then I believed it.

Both times I was being examined for depression/suicidal tendencies and it just got picked up.

I forgot what the original question was or where I was going with this but NO!! Despite not wanting to admit I was Autistic, it became rather hard to deny it - with two separate, independent psychiatrists diagnosing me with Aspergers - and now I know all about it, I can see why they made their diagnosis. I am Autistic and I don't regret it at all. It has heaps of downsides but it has PLENTY of upsides. I just didn't know the cool skills I had were part of being Autistic!

I (sometimes) do not believe in my AS diagnosis because of the knowledge about similar conditions (such as "NVLD", which is for me often just a form of AS/autism and complex developmental disability (not (just) a learning disorder), but with different etiology and profile) which fit me not so bad and my "strict" religious/moral rules.

When I look at my case from "not me", "neutral perspective", I name "myself" as an PDDer, "soft" autistic, not as someone with "social NLD" (which is for me just a sort of Asperger's with different causes and symptomatology, but still a type of Aspergian phenomenon, the term "social NLD" is a "potty" euphemism for me which is blatanly inadequate). I think that the current use of the term NVLD and DSM-V criteria just make confusion and may lead to ignorance of "milder" sorts of Aspergerism. In Northern America there is tendency to see AS only as a milder form of "classic" ("rigid") autism without intellectual disability and marked speech delay. I think that it is WRONG way.

I was sometimes told about my autism. In my school by a nun, by some teenager when I looked at the map (it was somewhat "stereotypical" behavior, maps are interesting!), when I went to the centre specialised in ASDs by an unknown person (who told (quite loudly?) "autism" when I walked), by my psychiatrist few weeks ago at the visit ("you have autism"). Pedagogue in my secondary school told to me something meaning "there is 99% chance that it (my disorder) is AS" (Polish: "to na 99% jest ZA"). If I have just a "learning disability", why I was diagnosed with a pervasive developmental disorder, not with LD?

I think that the definition of PDD in ICD-10 is too strict. Repetitiveness and stereotypical behaviors should not be required, developmental "weirdness" (such as "fixativeness", peculiar emotionality) may be a criterium, but not "rigidity". I think that probably most people with "NVLD" have PDD, not just a learning disorder. NVLD should be considered in the terms of pervasive developmental disability (F84 in ICD-10), not a learning disorder. I think that current classifications are unjust and should be changed.

Having a pervasive developmental disorder should not be shameful, many people with this diagnosis have spouse and own children, drive a car, have at least Master's Degree... Not all NTs achieved it Mocking someone because of PDD/autism is not good thing at it looks as a form of discrimination.

I think that even not all with "classic" autism spectrum may meet the criteria of a PDD (there are people with "broader autism phenotype"), also not all with something currently misnamed as "NVLD" have a PDD (pure visual-spatial-motor disorder (true NVLD) without severe social ineptitude or (and) "weirdness" is a form of "broader phenotype" of "soft" autism). Higher functioning PDDs and their "phenotypes" are for me a types of developmental condition which I named as aucorigia (acoria, acory) - it is autocontrast (asynchronous development) and originality (weirdness) which makes someone odd since early childhood. It may be not a form of autism, I am "obsessed" whith this concept of generalisation of the terms such as mild PDD/HFA.

I think that it is important to think that people who are developmentally "socially inept" and "weird" (such as "obsessive" or "emotionally peculiar") have THE SAME condition ("acoria"), even if etiology and patterns of symptoms are different. HFA is a sort of acoria, NVLD is also the sort of it. They are different, but are under one name in one class in my personal classification.

I do not feel some emotional needs so strong. It helps and may prevent some sort of sadness, depression... But also may cause some difficulties with understanding feelings of others because some worries are not own (they are not experienced, at least in larger degree). And it is "atypical", someone may be viewed as a weirdo because of autistic mentality.

I am not so interest in being loved. My moter once said that I never said to her "I love you". I had also thoughts that I never had felt misery. It may look for me as a... strength, not deficit. I am less emotional in some areas. "Poor" NVLDers, who have normal emotions, want to be loved and accepted. They need compassion and help. I think that Aspies and NVLDers have other types of the same phenomenon ("aucorigia", "acoria") which makes people socially inept and atypical in some way. They are from the same family, have similar problems. I am nerdy and kooky, but other Acorians are often more "normal" than me. Dyssemia (impairment of nonverbal communication) may be really destructive.

I think that autism and PDD are so strictly defined. Autism is developmental "otherness", a form of general ineptitude. It is state of having "original" mentality, marked lacks in social reciprocity which diminished and (or) idiosyncratise social needs and is associated with large social ineptitude and emotional abnormalities and other psychiatric or neurological phenomena. I think that autism can have different "hardness": mine is a "soft" one, Kanner's autism is "hard".

PDD is a type of generalized mental developmental disability (GMDD) which can occur in all levels of intelligence - from profound intellectual disability to profound giftedness (for example, Michael Weistein has classic, full-blown autism (http://www.goldenhatfoundation.org/abou ... blog-70211), but his IQ is 192).

Symptoms of PDD (generalized "neuroatypicality") may be grouped in some classes (rather not all people with PDD would have all of them mentioned above):

1. Social - such as marked dyssemia, pragmatic deficits, failures in social contacts (especially with peers), lacks of social and emotional reciprocity, deficits in theory of mind
2. Emotional, such as:
* peculiar, odd emotionality (such as paradoxical laughter, inadequate shame, sometimes "psychopathic" tendencies), emotional immaturity, strange fears, high anxiety, angry outbursts, depressiveness, flat affect
* obsessiveness (of interests: "strong", "excitating", atypical, often impractical, narrow, repetitive interests), rituals, routines, strange customs, OCD, troubles with changes or novels
* thinking (not in all cases) - delusional ideas (suc as grandiosity and suspiciousness), atypical (especially more absorbing) fantasies (such as about special powers), magical thinking, blatantly bizarre thoughts, sexuality disturbances (especially in childhood); may be in schizophrenia spectrum
3. Activity, such as:
- hyperkinetic behaviors, hyperactive behaviors (such as ADHD), "stimmability" (stims), tics
- troubles with attention (such as ADD); difficulties in organization, planning, complex tasks, making a decistion; concentration deficit disorder (sluggishness, being "drowsy", "spacey" and pronne to daydreaming)
4. Cognitive, such as:
- speech and/or language, auditory problems ("verbal learning disorders") - symptoms may include speech delay or lack of speech, dyslexia, auditory processing dsorders, grammar and semantics problems, larger dominance of PIQ over VIQ
- visual-spatial motor disorder ("nonverbal learning disorders") - symptoms may include clumsiness, weakening of visual thinking and spatial ablities, Math problems, larger dominance of VIQ over PIQ
- deficits in central coherence, abstract thinking
5. Sensory, such as:
- disturbances of five senses (touch, taste, sight, smell, taste); lack of strength and endurance; vestibular and prioprioception issues
6. PDDs appear to be associated with genetic or (and) perinatal issues or other health problems or injuries in pre-natal period or early infancy; they cause marked impairments in normal life and have significant symptoms in early childhood; people with PDD may tend to be viewed as generally "odd", "wieird", "abnormal", "other" etc.

I read about many Aspies. They appeared generally less "versatile" than I. I do not know what is my IQ, but I read about someone with IQ above 160, who do not function so very good as a person who is severely gifted intellectually. But that person has Master's Degree, driving licence, was in other country... that person has also "classic" type of AS. The person has quite large achievements despite being an Aspie, but NTs with such intelligence should function much better.

I can do many simple things, but some are hard for me. I do not know what to do about job. I may be involuntarily irritating for others because of my dyssemia, obsessiveness, possible SCT (maybe even quite severe), strict moral rules (which are not bad things).

I have doubts about my PDD because od having (relative) broad mind. Rigid routines appear for me to be nonsense. I had many "magical" obsessions earlier, but severe need for sameness look illogical to me. I have "physical" or "existential" fears. I am not a visual thinker - I am good in verbal thinking and verbatim memory (even if my auditory memory is not so good). It is really useful in school. I may have not do much need to think in pictures. I am not "robotic".

I think that I should have a PDD, but not of a "classic" sort. My interests in childhood were described as "narrow" in the centre specialised in ASDs in which I got diagnosis of AS. I know that I do not fit to the picture of a person with "typical" ASD. Social ineptitude and obsessiveness were large problems for me. NLD is about scholastic difficulties, not about obsessiveness and emotional pecularities. I do not think that everybody with (even severe) NLD has to present marked impairment in nonverbal communication (especially expressive). I think that traits such as very poor eye contact are Aspergian. The name NLD may be used in really misleading way in my opinion. I think that NLD with social ineptitude and obsessiveness is a sort of AS, not (just) a learning disorder. I have problems with "unsuitability to world", but scholastic abilities are in general my strength, not weakness. I think that "NLD-like" Aspies (such as I) may have other etiology of their disorder (which may be "less genetic", maybe even not genetic at all, at least in some cases). I think that it might be not related to Kanner's autism, but it should be named as a PDD. I think that the name "learning disorder" is not appriopiate to describe my developmental mental health problem.

I had quite large number of relatively wild stims today. Why stimming tends to be accompanied by agitation and really pleasing feeling? It probably looks as a behavior of someone who has IQ well below average.

I may be obsessed with single words. I am quite easily "excitable" and often "hyperkinetic". I may feel as an Aspie now. My pattern of interests was atypical, "obsessive". I do not have "robotic" form of ASD. My interests, behaviors may be more stereotyped, restricted and repetitive than it may seem to me. I think that I have some sort of autistic social dysreciprocity - idiosyncratic and limited social needs, tendency to be very "bore" during talks, limited needs for being loved by others... My interests in people may be "autistic" - name and surname may be very important, also appearance, descent, having disorders similar to mine or not...

I have "idiosyncratic" mentality. I may feel "strange" now. I am not a pattern thinker. I have "more simple" verbal (mostly) or picture thinking. I am not interested in IT. I read about IQ results of two important Aspies from Polish AS forum. They have AS diagnosis, but one had VIQ 29 points higher than PIQ and other had VIQ more than 50 points higher than PIQ! I am similar to them. They had larger problems in Maths, I suppose. But I do not think that they are just NLDers! They are Aspies. I named this sort of PDD as "oververbal ASD". I think that the term NLD makes much "evil" and confusion when it is used to name something which is a type of PDD/Asperger's/ASD in my opinion, not a "learning disorder".

I had strange feeling today. It was a feeling of being "disabled" "handicapped", "weak", hard to describe. It is somewhat "humilitating". I may name it as the "feeling of having pervasive developmental disorder". I may feel somehat like being on the other side of the wall (I might have some images of it as "glassy", dark blue, not so thin) or being "from the other world". My problems may be due to a type of developmental autism which make my mentality "alien". It is not NLD. It causes idiosyncratic pattern of social interactions (also problems with them and in social communication, reciprocity), interests and activities. It is PDD/ASD.

Hi my name is Brandon, and I've been diagnosed with aspergers when I was 11 yrs old ( I'm 22 now) and I at first didn't accept it as I thought it was something bad. I even rebelled against that diagnosis and refused to even accept it even when the schools thought they could put me in special ed. They didn't and I was able to make it through regular classes all the way till I graduated high school. I got picked on a lot, but had many friends back then and also kept rebelling against the diagnosis till now when I first started noticing some social issues of mine and being aware of it. The thing is I can make friends but it's hard for me to keep them if they start changing and they don't even tell me the truth upfront if I'm doing something wrong. I've kind of started using self-help books to get rid of any social issues I might have so I can improve my chances, and even went to a support group, though it's not helping much. Any ideas on what I could do next that might help.

I was diagnosed with AS when I was about 17 years old. I had doubts about it because I thought that it may be something less serious such as nonverbal learning disorder or anxiety disorder. I am "relatively versatile" in neurocognitive area as an Aspie, but severely idiosyncratic. Even before diagnosis I know about AS, NLD and many other psychiatric disorders. I had obsessive interest in AS and similar disorders and it returned about three months ago. I wrote more than 2000 posts in Polish AS forum in last 15 weeks. Aspies are fascinating for me. They may be my special interests, especially women with AS and similar condtions. One of the Polish word for female with AS (Aspijka) is really cute and nice to me. I like to use it. It has masculine form (Aspijczyk) which is less cute to me, but also nice. I like the word "Aspie" when it is written by "A" (it looks cute then), not "a", because small "a" is uglier to me than big "A".

I not so much contacts with psychologists or psychiatrists. I am on the studies, which are not so easy. My family is strange and somewhat pathological.

I was diagnosed with schizotypal disorder (co-occurring with AS) a week ago. So I have diagnoses from both autism and schizophrenia spectrum and I think that it is adequate classification of my nutty disorder. Maybe it is a variant of something named "schizotypal autism" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_autism, other than Mendelsohnn's syndrome occuring in Northwestern Europe)? I do not think that it is (just) a learning or anxiety disorder.

I may nickname my disorder as "crank syndrome" which is more bizarre than just "geek syndrome" (I am rather "nerdy" than "geeky" in my opinion). I do not fit to "classic" image of AS in my opinion. My form of autism may be not related to childhood autism described by Kanner at all. And I suppose that in USA it would be misnamed as just nonverbal learning disability and anxiety disorder. NLD is a largely misused term now for me, even without Aspie symptoms "NLD syndrome" described here (https://nldrecognition.wordpress.com/2011/05/23/the-truth-about-nld-nonverbal-learning-disability-and-who-it-can-resemble/) looks for me rather like an executive functioning disorder than (just) a learning disability.

I am in more areas better than "classic" Aspie, but may have problems with having any job for "normal" people. I think that I have larger anomalies than my family may think. Hypersensivity to sounds, touching, tags, lights, prosopagnosia, hallucinations, lack of scholastic abilities, rigid thinking are not my problems. But I am a "crackpot" for myself, a blend of schizoautistic "nutter" and dysexecutive "twerp" who have precocious "relative versatility".

My marketable skills may be VERY low. I am "ineffective" and appreciably weird, I may look as intellectually disabled or/and psychotic person for others.

A priest said me that I could (should?) have care allowance (Polish: zasiłek pielęgnacyjny) and scholarship for disabled students (stypendium dla niepełnosprawnych). I would personally classify me as a sort of "ret*d" (I do not want to name others as "ret*ds") despite my above-average intellectual abilities and comfort of living. "Traditional" Aspies are somewhat "normal" in comparison to me. I want to finish second stage of the studies really much. Not one Apie about which I read have Master's Degree. They look leass "versatile" than me for me, but not as bizastrous twemps (bizastrous - from bizarre and strange, twemp - from twerp and wimp) like I. Even for Aspies I may look as a kook.

My family does not help me so much. Many of their behaviors are "jerky" (aggression, ignorance of my problems). They do not give support!

I think that people who are highly similar to me are diagnosed with just NVLD and (or) emotional problems in Northern America. I think that it is wrong and it may be harmful for them.

I have diagnosis of a pervasive developmental disorder (F84.5, Asperger syndrome) and a mental illness (F21, schizotypal disorder). For me the terms "pervasive developmental disorder" and "mental illness" describe my mental state adequately, I would say that I am a "craackpot", "crank" and "cuckoo" (but I do not want to name people who have problems similar to mine as "crackpots", "cranks" and "cuckoos"). It means that I am really severely disordered.

A priest told me that it is very probable that I would never be able to have the wife. It is some sort of disability for me. I wanted to have the female partner even early in elementary school. He also said something like that it is very probable that I or people like I were not able to commit sacrilege because of serious disorders. Confessing sins is a "nightmare" for me. It is so complicated. I had quite terrible scrupulosity few years ago. And more complex tasks (such as projects in school) are problematic for me.

Fragment from http://amedleyofpotpourri.blogspot.com/2011_12_04_archive.html

My mentality was not so interested in socialisation, despite being clearly not asexual. My mind rather does not bother with normal life. And my mentality rather sees this trait as an advantage. I may think that "autism" is "extreme" nonconformism or individualism. I have other cognitive style (rather "neurotypical") than people like Temple Grandin, but I have problems with interpersonal interations, bad nonverbal communication, "obsessive" interests, "large need for stimulation", dislike of some sensory experiences. I would think that my PDD is rather a mental illness (schizophrenia spectrum disorder) than something related to Kanner's autism, but still should be named as a sort of autism. Naming people like me as "not autistic" appears unjust to me and I suppose that it may be harmful. "Typical" autism (like HFA) is not a "kookiness". I have not splinter skills, my visualisational skills are not so large. I suppose that people like me can be easily misdiagnosed and "underdiagnosed" as having NVLD, emotional problems and personality disorder(s). These terms are "too weak" too describe "bizarrity" and severity of the disorder which I have.

I said with a psychologist about month ago who said that my case is interesting (because of variety of symptoms?). Despite having no problems in some areas (such as commuting to school, attending to lectures on the studies, lack(?) of some symptoms which are commonly present in ASD) my condition may be in fact pretty debilitating.

I may end with severe level of disability, total incapacity for work and inability to independent existence (in Polish: znaczny stopień niepełnosprawności, całkowita niezdolność do pracy i niezdolność do samodzielnej egzystencji) due to my profound mental problem. "They" are most serious levels of disability in Poland. The psychiatrist wrote about pervasive developmental disorder (AS), OCD and schizotypal disorder, need of help with home-making, inability to independent existence because of symptoms and "serious prognosis". At the last talk with the psychiatrist I was again told that I am unable to be married. I have "no social life" and my mentality is not so interested in socialisation.

My case appears to be pretty unique. Is it an unknown, undescribed sort of PDD and mental illness? It is not similar to typical ASD, but also not similar to typical schizophrenia (which usually does not start in childhood). I am interesting in cases which are somewhat especially smilar to mine. I might name this "autistic illness" as "unsuitability to world syndrome" (Polish: syndrom nieprzystosowania do świata). I may feel and maybe even behave like someone with intellectual disability despite above-average scholastic abilities. But even being a prime student does not mean that someone will not have problems with finding and doing the job. I read about diagnosed Aspies who have better average grades than me which did not prevent them from problems with employment in adult life.

I received ruling from Polish Social Insurance Institution which states that I am totally incapable of work to the end of October 2016. It gives rights to receiving social pension. So I am really seriously ill. There are no jokes with conditions like mine, because they are true handicap. It is really good that a person like me received such a ruling. I have proof that it is profound problem.