What's the point of saying hi; what happens if you don't?

Page 1 of 3 [ 42 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Transhuman
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 136

27 Jan 2012, 3:05 pm

I noticed that I never say hi, only if somebody says hi to me, then I respond with a hi as well. In what way does it affect the relationship between me and my local society (acquaintances)?



fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

27 Jan 2012, 3:15 pm

It makes them think you're passive. I always say hi first and take control of the situation.



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

27 Jan 2012, 3:32 pm

I don't say hi first either. In real life I almost never say hi back. I'm more likely to nod, grunt, or acknowledge the person by briefly looking at them. In my online game I say hi back.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,265

27 Jan 2012, 3:56 pm

Transhuman wrote:
I noticed that I never say hi, only if somebody says hi to me, then I respond with a hi as well. In what way does it affect the relationship between me and my local society (acquaintances)?

People don't care if you say hi or not. If they like you, it won't make a difference to them and they will continue liking you even if you don't always say hi. If they don't like you, saying hi or not saying hi will not change their opinion.



fraac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,865

27 Jan 2012, 4:07 pm

If they don't know you and you say hi and smile, they'll like you.



dianthus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

27 Jan 2012, 4:22 pm

In my experience, what happens if I don't say hello is people think I'm a snob. They think I'm snubbing them or rejecting them. Sometimes people get really mad at me about it.

As far as other people greeting me, I am never sure if they are actually talking to me or not. So I try to just greet them first to avoid that confusion.



Ambivalence
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,613
Location: Peterlee (for Industry)

27 Jan 2012, 4:44 pm

Quote:
What's the point of saying hi?


It establishes (in conjunction with body language) that people are well, that they are friendly, and that they are ready if necessary to communicate. All useful things.


_________________
No one has gone missing or died.

The year is still young.


cmeaspie
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 19

27 Jan 2012, 5:27 pm

I don't say Hi 1st either, if someone wants to talk to me I let them say it. Usually I am in my own little world anyway. On the rare occasion that I have gone out of my way to say Hi to someone, I've been ignored which leaves me feeling awkward. I have expressed this to my husband on many occasions and he thinks that perhaps people don't hear me. I think it's a conspiracy , the same people I have said Hi to & ignore me will say Hi to my husband who is right behind me. I myself think that I make it a point to say it loud and clear. I don't think there is a point to Hi (unless you know the person already & are saying it to be pleasant.)



mglosenger
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2011
Age: 151
Gender: Male
Posts: 445

28 Jan 2012, 4:23 am

A greeting is like the ACK packets used by TCP/IP, it indicates desire and willingness between both parties to communicate.

Was that the question, or did I just want to finally publicly express that (perhaps obvious) metaphor

Hey, to answer your question, it's a social norm although it's not considered absolutely necessary, that is the basic idea of saying 'hi' or 'hello' or the like

THE KEY IDEA is to ensure that both sides of the convo are ready to converse



Jtuk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jan 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 732
Location: Wales, UK

28 Jan 2012, 10:10 am

ok heres a tip. Saying "hi" or "afternoon" or whatever, is infinitely easier than avoiding any interaction whatsoever. Crossing the road, so you avoid saying "hi" or deliberately avoiding eye contact is a lot of effort and will make you seem exceptionally weird to your aquantances.

I'm pretty good at giving advice, not so good at following my own, I probably say "alright" usually. This is usually reserved for when an avoidance strategy is not possible, such as keeping ahead of someone, leaving the store or crossing the road with a purpose. As one time or past aquaintancies become even more distant, I've mastered the self deception of pretending that I don't even recognise them. It's pretty awful really.

Jason.



theaspiemusician
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 384
Location: The Cosmos

28 Jan 2012, 10:15 am

Well it starts a conversation. I say hi first sometimes but my voice is low pitched for a woman but very soft and quiet, so sometimes people don't hear me.


_________________
Empathy Quotient Test Score: 63
Hmmm...interesting. Shows what you know about Aspies, doesn't it rofl?

"One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small but the pills that mother gives you don't do anything at all"


noname_ever
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Dec 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 500
Location: Indiana

28 Jan 2012, 10:44 am

Saying 'hi' when it's not a friend, but an aquaintence or coworker is a mutual acknowledgement of presence. It opens a chance of starting a conversation, but it usually isn't expected.



TalusJumper
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 170

28 Jan 2012, 10:48 am

Saying 'hi' (in passing) isn't a problem for me; however, saying the person's name is. My thoughts are too slow and by the time I think of their name, they have moved on. :roll:


_________________
Scores- Aspie score: AS-130, NT-75 You are very likely an Aspie
AQ-43, EQ-14


Doubutsu
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 115

28 Jan 2012, 11:38 am

mglosenger wrote:
A greeting is like the ACK packets used by TCP/IP, it indicates desire and willingness between both parties to communicate.

Was that the question, or did I just want to finally publicly express that (perhaps obvious) metaphor

Hey, to answer your question, it's a social norm although it's not considered absolutely necessary, that is the basic idea of saying 'hi' or 'hello' or the like

THE KEY IDEA is to ensure that both sides of the convo are ready to converse


Great metaphor :D
Saying hello is like asking for permission to talk, if someone says you hi and you don't say hello back he will think you don't want to talk with him. It is also used to check if the other person can hear you.
Some people don't care if you don't say hello, other people need it to enter in conversation mode(they can feel confused if you suddenly start talking without catching their atenttion first) and I think most of people will feel offended if you are asking a favor and you didn't say hello first because it feels like you just want to use them and you don't care about them (maybe you don't care anyway, but if you follow the protocol it doesn't feel offensive because it's not so abrupt)



TalusJumper
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 170

28 Jan 2012, 11:56 am

Saying 'hi' (in passing) isn't a problem for me; however, saying the person's name is. My thoughts are too slow and by the time I think of their name, they have moved on. :roll:


_________________
Scores- Aspie score: AS-130, NT-75 You are very likely an Aspie
AQ-43, EQ-14


the_curmudge
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Aug 2010
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 612
Location: Florida

28 Jan 2012, 7:33 pm

Greeting someone is a simple way of saying that you are a human being and notice they are, too. It's basic respect very cheaply purchased and well worth the price.