Did you succumb to Peer Pressure when Young?

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Rocket123
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08 Feb 2014, 2:39 pm

It was raining yesterday. When I pulled out my umbrella, I had flash backs to a time when I was much younger.

If I recall correctly, I received my first umbrella when I was about 4 years old. I loved umbrellas. I liked how they were designed. I liked how they could keep me dry. I found them quite practical. I used to carry my umbrella to school and use it on rainy days.

As I grew older, it became “un cool” to carry and use an umbrella. Other kids may have used the term “sissy” or whatever to describe someone who used an umbrella. I remember thinking about it. First, I liked using an umbrella. Second, it made sense to use an umbrella (as I hated getting wet). Third, the kids who didn’t use umbrellas were idiots. I wasn’t going to get wet just to be cool. That didn’t make sense.

So I used my umbrella. I remember walking to and from school, with my umbrella. Though it felt quite awkward. As I was quite noticeable. I was the only kid with an umbrella. And I hated standing out. At the same time, I wasn’t going to conform. Because that would be giving in.

Interestingly, this was one of the reasons, when I was young, I so much looked forward to becoming an adult. As, from the perspective of a child, adults did not do stupid things simply to conform.



babybird
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08 Feb 2014, 2:44 pm

Not really.


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NEtikiman
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08 Feb 2014, 3:20 pm

I didn't really respond to the more subtle peer pressure, but, for the longest time, I would only wear sweats because I couldn't tolerate the feeling of jeans. I was teased relentlessly for this and, eventually, I got sick of dealing with it and strove to conform my dress.

The goal was not a desire to fit in, but a desire to stop the teasing as it was getting increasingly harder to deal with.

Thankfully I didn't succumb to the other kinds of peer pressure that are out there for a lot of adolescents (e.g. drinking,smoking, etc.)... That came around when I was older and was sparked by my own curiosity :twisted: :roll:


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babybird
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08 Feb 2014, 3:24 pm

I was in a uniform for a lot of my teens so it didn't really matter.


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Kaedra
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08 Feb 2014, 3:31 pm

It's strange that you mention that, because I am the only person in my class that wears a coat to school. I just don't see why I should be cold and wet when I could wear a coat. Being very sensitive to temperature, I would freeze without it. Either they don't feel the cold, or it is to do with peer pressure, although it seems very odd to me.



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08 Feb 2014, 3:37 pm

No, but there were from time to time such accidents that I wanted to be like my classmates about something to be just, you know, more normal, so in hope I'd be like that, I sometimes tried to do things my peers did - like in autumn I didn't want to wear a cap and a winter jacket yet, though I was sickly and susceptible to illnesses, for no one else did yet - I didn't want to be a sissy. In kindergarten I wanted to get a jeans skirt and a Barbie doll, for all the other girls did. I wanted to be like them.



em_tsuj
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08 Feb 2014, 3:49 pm

Yes, and it did not work. (meaning that I didn't gain any friends. I just developed a drug habit, got into legal trouble, and messed up my 1st attempts at college by living the party lifestyle).

It was also a racial thing. Where I live (rural south), things were pretty stereotypical growing up. I had no role models of successful, middle class black men and neither did my peers. We all wanted to be little thugs and pimps like the guys on MTV. I literally had no friends in my neighborhood because I "acted white" or "soft" by doing good in school and staying out of trouble. I thought if I looked like the others on the outside, did some of the things they were doing, I would make friends. Later, when I got older and moved to the city, I realized you didn't have to do all that to be a "real" black person.

The only thing I didn't conform to was sex. That was kind of out my control (over-protective parents, low self-esteem, poor social skills). Now that I'm older, I'm glad. I don't have all those responsibilities of having to raise a bunch of kids while trying to get a foothold financially, but back then I felt like a loser because I wasn't having sex. I also am glad that I am not doing all those things to be authentically black anymore. I can't help but to be black no matter what I do. It is just skin color, and to a certain extent culture, but honestly living in rural Kentucky has more of a cultural influence on me than being black. I have more in common with a country white person than a black person who grew up in the city or up north.

I don't think AS prevents us from soaking up the cultural influences around us. However, it seems like we are able to span out of it, where as other people are not able to think independent of their cultural programming. I hope I am saying that right.



redrobin62
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08 Feb 2014, 4:17 pm

I grew up in a black neighbourhood. That meant if you weren't wearing designer sneakers you ain't squat. I wore skips, cheap no-name sneakers, all the time because that's all I could afford. I was heckled for it often. I just shrugged them off.

I do remember buying pants that were in style, though. I had a habit of wearing "high waters" and they made fun of that, too. Eventually I got a pair of the stylish pants (I can't remember what they're called now).

I wasn't aware of sex when I was a teen so that whole shebang escaped me. No pressure there. I didn't have my first sexual encounter till I was 23 and it was basically to first or second base, not all the way.



Acedia
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08 Feb 2014, 4:25 pm

I didn't for the most part. I always turned down drugs when they were offered to me, despite how common drug-use was/is. And for the most part did my own thing. But I did have a brief phase where I tried to fit in. But I failed at it, and it was short-lived.



hanyo
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08 Feb 2014, 4:29 pm

Not really. I always did my own thing and what others did made no difference to me.

Usually that term is used in a negative way but I remember one time as a teenager an older friend of mine went to college and my psychologist thought that would be a good influence on me. I remember wondering why she would think that because what does what my friend do have to do with me? I don't do or not do things just because other people do or don't do them.



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08 Feb 2014, 4:37 pm

I wanted to be normal, I watched other people to figure out how to act, I wanted to fit in, be liked, have friends be treated like everyone else and not different and not be an easy target so yeah I did peer pressure.


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droppy
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08 Feb 2014, 4:38 pm

I am 16 and I don't succumb to peer pressure.
Actually, I neither feel peer pressure. People have bullied me in the past and girls bullied me for not being feminine but I don't try to be more feminine. I am not naturally feminine and if I tried to be I'd just look ridiculous.
I was told that for gals my age "peer pressure" consists in using make-up, dressing "sexy", either being in a relationship or having sex with a lot of guys and waiting for them to buy you drinks at bars.
lol, nope, thank you. I don't want to get drugged, raped, abused, pregnant, or get STDs just to feel "flattered" by guys.



babybird
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08 Feb 2014, 4:45 pm

I did go through a faze a few years ago, as an adult in my 30's.

I suddenly became very self aware and realised that I was still like a child, I kind of panicked and tried to do everything that all the other 30 year old women were doing.

I tried to learn to drive, hold down two jobs and go to college, get my own place and learn to stand on my own two feet.

Most of it stuck apart from the driving part.


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LookingLost
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08 Feb 2014, 5:00 pm

No, at least not in regards to most things, and I seem to have had similar thinking to OP (although I don't particularly like to use umbrellas).
I think that not attempting to conform in the face of peer pressure has caused problems, but I think I'm glad I didn't/don't. To be honest I think I would have had problems anyway, and a lot of the time I probably don't even know what I should be conforming to. :ncool:

I'd like it if no one felt pressured to do things that didn't seem natural to them...


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Last edited by LookingLost on 08 Feb 2014, 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

babybird
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08 Feb 2014, 5:10 pm

I've never even owned an umbrella in my life.


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08 Feb 2014, 5:31 pm

While I have been pressured in the past when I was in grade school, I didn't really sink down to that level often. I don't follow people unless I'm forced to do so anyway.