Am I old enough to stay at home alone for 2-3 days?

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joshskuxx
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19 Dec 2015, 7:08 am

After christmas my parents and my brother/sister are going to my grandparents house for like 2 or 3 days. I dont want to go with them because I really dislike my grandparents, it is boring at their house and there is no internet reception (because it is in the middle of nowhere). I asked if I could stay at home but my mum said no. She thinks that im to immature to look after my self for 2 days (she is overprotective). i know how to look after my self for a few days (I can make food for myself and do all of the other things i need to do to look after my self for a few days. my mum thinks that ill either burn the house down while using the microwave, leave the doors unlocked at night, smash the house up, invite people over or do something stupid. If I was at home alone I would just be in my room on the computer,playing video games or watching TV. when Im hungry I would make my own food (its easy to use the microwave/oven but my mum thinks im to stupid to do that) and i would lock the house at night/if i go for a walk or something. how do I make my mum realize that Im capable of looking after myself while their gone and that im not going to do anything stupid? im 16 years old



Last edited by joshskuxx on 19 Dec 2015, 7:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

skibum
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19 Dec 2015, 7:49 am

How old are you?


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joshskuxx
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19 Dec 2015, 7:52 am

skibum wrote:
How old are you?

16



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19 Dec 2015, 8:02 am

Well. Josh, technically, I think you are plenty old enough at 16. Some kids are soldiers and fighting wars at 16. Some kids are parents at 16. The key is that you need to prove to mum that you can be responsible. If I were you I would write a checklist of all the things that you know you need to do when you are home alone. Write things like, lock the doors and double check them, clean the house, reheat or cook simple meals and at what time you plan to eat them, even write things like taking a shower and when you plan to go to bed and wake up. Also tell her that you will call her twice a day, in the morning and at bedtime.

What she is concerned about is your ability to be responsible. If you are proactive and show her that you intend to be and are capable of sticking to a written contract that you and she come up with together and agree on, I think she might let you try it. And if you do stick to it and succeed, this will be a huge milestone for both of you. She will see that her baby is growing up and can be trusted and you gaining her trust will be huge and this could be a great step towards your eventual independence.

But if she lets you do it, you must stick to the contract and be absolutely above and beyond in your responsibility and integrity. If you do something stupid it will set you back years.


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traven
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19 Dec 2015, 8:06 am

You're old and capable enough to give it a try, but maybe it isn't that. But that she doesn't want you not to come, you can be expected to visit grandparents, even if it's not what you like to do.
Plan something to do, go outside and eventually you could download somethings to play offline.



SocOfAutism
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19 Dec 2015, 9:19 am

Have you stayed alone at home overnight before? If you have, this might be a good opportunity to show your mom that you're responsible enough to look after the house by yourself. If you haven't, I could see why she wouldn't want you to start with 2-3 days. In that circumstance, you could ask her to let you try staying alone the next time she's away for a shorter period of time.

If it were me and my kid was home alone for that long, I would at least send someone to randomly check on him a couple times. Of course, you don't sound like my kid. Mine would do all the things your mom is afraid of, some more she wouldn't think of, and then would need a lot of reassurance when I came back.



nerdygirl
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19 Dec 2015, 9:40 am

As a parent, I would not go from my kid having never stayed overnight alone to 2-3 days alone.
I have gradually taught my kids how to be alone from 1hr at first by the age of 9/10, eventually overnight when they were about 14, to a week alone for my 17 year old this past summer.
In each of these settings, they knew who they could call in case they needed anything.
When my kids were alone overnight or for the week, I had a few trusted adults in place who knew my kid was alone and were "on call" and would even stop by occasionally to see if he needed anything.
Responsibility is a thing that must be grown into gradually and tested at each turn. It builds trust between parent and child.
If you have not had the opportunity to show this kind of responsibility before, I can understand why your mom would say no.

Also, as a parent I would require my kids to see their grandparents.
Not having fun there and not liking your grandparents does not excuse the disrespect of not seeing them.
Your grandparents are not going to be around forever. They deserve to see you *just because* they are your grandparents.
And too bad there is no internet. 30 years ago, I had to spend a few boring afternoons with my great-grandparents and just sit there. That's life. That's how you show respect to your elders.

Perhaps your mom said no to you staying overnight because she didn't think you could handle it because it was an easier thing to say than to explain why she was requiring you to see your grandparents and she was trying to avoid a harder/longer argument.



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20 Dec 2015, 10:07 am

Just make sure you don't throw any wild parties, with dancing girls coming out of cakes!



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20 Dec 2015, 10:39 am

Now now Kraftie, don't give the boy any ideas! You'll corrupt him. :lol:


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kraftiekortie
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20 Dec 2015, 10:46 am

As if he didn't have enough incentive already! :wink:



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20 Dec 2015, 11:15 am

You remember being a 16 year old boy! :D

Josh, don't take this part seriously, we're just laughing at Kraftie!


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BeaArthur
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20 Dec 2015, 11:45 am

When I was your age (16) my family went on an outing to another city with plans on sightseeing. It was just a day trip, no overnight.

We would all (six of us) be riding in one car, and no doubt my mother would be smoking the whole way. It sounded like a miserable time to me and I said I wanted to stay home.

My mother didn't feel good about me being home alone, but my father said he thought it was all right at that age. So they went without me, and I enjoyed my day doing alone things (perfectly safe alone things) and eventually they came back and there was no crisis or anything.

I think mothers tend to be a little more overprotective, sometimes. Anyway, in my case she was wrong and my dad was right.

If you have never been home alone for one day - no overnights - then maybe you have to "prove yourself" in that circumstance first.


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