Parents think I'm incapable of caring for a pet..

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My Co-worker texted me today, asking if I wanted to have her bearded dragon as well as the cage and everything else for only 80 dollars, since she has too many pets and needs to get rid of some. I really want to have her and I'm willing to even spend my own money, but my parents won't allow it because, well, they think I can't handle it even though I'd only have to feed her insects once a day. I do tend to have selective hearing and short term memory issues, likely due to Autism, but I feel bad that they don't even think I could handle something like that. I don't know how to convince them otherwise though. I'm 19 and I hate being treated like a child.

Well I imagine you'd also have to clean the cage from time to time, make sure you always have a supply of insects for it and of course make sure to close the cage when you're done feeding. So it may be a little more complicated than you think. Why exactly is it they don't think you could handle it?

I think they need a bit more care than just feeding. They will need special lights to keep them healthy and possibly a heater too, is all of this included by your co-worker. The tank needs to be big enough for the size of the lizard so you will need to check that too, especially if it is still growing. I would do some research on what is needed to look after them and what the costs will be. You can then use this information to see if this lizard would be a suitable pet for you and show your parents that you understand what is required.

Have a look here: LINK

Bearded dragons are not that hard to take care of once you have the setup. My friend's one just passed away from old age. They are actually a very good first pet because they are pretty simple to care for. But do the research and write a checklist of all the things you need to do for her and how often those things need to be done and how you plan to do them and give it to your parents. That way they can see that you understand the responsibilities involved and that you are committed to doing them.

well, all pets are a rather significant responsibility. this is another creature's life in your hands.

i think your parents just don't want to have to remind you to clean their home, feed it ad keep a supply of insects and maintaining the heater.

second the idea of making a list!

What if you suggest to your parents, and your friend, the idea of fostering your friend's bearded dragon for a trial period? With the deal being that if it went well you could adopt her permanently. But if you found that you couldn't take care of her well enough/independently, then your friend would find her a permanent home somewhere else.

You'd have to negotiate with your parents and your friend about how this would work -- stuff like:

How long the trial period would be -- with concerete, detailed, explicitly spelled out criteria for success and failure. (To avoid problems if, for example, you and your parents agree on something like, "keep her cage clean" and you think that cleaning it once every ten days is often enough but your parents think it needs to be done every week.)

Would your friend keep looking for someone else to take the bearded dragon while you were fostering her, to have another home already lined up if things didn't work out with you? Would your friend be able to take the bearded dragon back on short notice?

If you have a smartphone you can set it to remind you to feed the thing everyday so you dont forget.

You might want to ready yourself for them to say no even when you show that you're responsible enough; it's possible that they're using your perceived irresponsibility as an excuse, and they really just don't want a reptile, or the feeder crickets, or possibly any animal in the house. I know my mother wouldn't have wanted us to have a reptile as a pet because she can't stand bugs and the live bugs would have been too much.

If responsibility really is the issue and if you have some time before your co-worker needs to sell the pet, you might try working your schedule for the next couple of weeks to a month assuming that you already have the pet: clear a spot somewhere for a 'cage' (put a box there or something so that people don't forget and put things in the way), and put a form next to/on top of the cage. Every time you would have to do something with the pet, write it down on the form along with the date/time that you 'did it', and how long it takes to do it. Then hang out and read or something for the estimated time. This shows that you can both remember the duties you have to perform, and that you have the spare time to do them. Get the pet's schedule from your friend so that you know how often and how long it takes to feed/clean the cage/socialize/etc.

Also, make sure that you're comfortable handling the food (I assume it's live?): some people don't realize how much those bugs will creep them out until they try. Maybe go over to your co-workers and do a feeding yourself to make sure? See if you can get in on all aspects of the pet's schedule at your co-worker's, to make sure you're comfortable doing them (cleaning the cage, etc).

Do your research on the animal: do you know how to tell when they're sick? Hungry? Happy? Cold? Scared? Do they need regular socialization, or are they just a high-maintenance moving picture like fish? Do they have seasonal requirements (e.g. colder/less food in the winter)? How long do they live (and how old is it already: are you only going to have him six months before he dies of old age)? Do you have other pets that you need to be aware of around this one (if it's in a cage all the time then you shouldn't need to worry about it physically, but what if it gets worked up every time the cat comes in the room)? I've never had a reptile myself, so those are the only questions I can think of off the top of my head.

By taking on a pet you are promising to be responsible for the pet's well being and happiness: whether it's a dog or a tarantula, you have to do right by them, and the best way to do that is to know what they need, and what they want. You can't ever forget to feed them. You can't ever forget to give them water. You can't ever forget to clean them. Even a 'starter' pet can be a big responsibility. I'm not saying that you're not responsible enough, and I'm not trying to scare you off; if you've already realized all this, then great! If not, then it's something to think about. And if you finish thinking about it and think that you still want that pet and can care for it properly, then go for it.

My daughter very much wanted to get a cat, but at the time, wasn't really able to care for herself. She "borrowed" one of my cats, but didn't really provide the necessary housing so I took the cat back. Later she asked to borrow that cat again and I said no, it wasn't fair to the cat.

She also didn't have the funding in place that would allow for vet bills, etc. Over 2 or 3 years, we did get her housing, funding, medical insurance... the next time she brought the subject up, I agreed that she was ready, and she got a wonderful cat that gives her a loving soft furry thing to love. She takes care of the cat pretty well.

So I'm not taking your parents' side or your side here, but pointing out that these things can be more complicated than they seem at first glance, and maybe your parents are right that you need to have some other things in place before taking on the bearded dragon. One other thing to think about is that an added responsibility may take focus away from things you really need to focus on now. If you are struggling at school or a job, for instance, it may be more important to stay focused on that until stuff is resolved.