Do you seek connections with marginalized people?

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Do you seek friendships or relationship with people who are marginalized in some way? (For example, mental or physical limitation, homeless, unemployed, poor, birth defect, etc... )

I, being marginalized myself, believe that other marginalized people are more likely to accept me.

However, I've found quite the opposite to be true (in real life, that is).

There are a number of people that have seemed initially interested in an acquaintanceship or whatever... but as soon as I returned the interest, it scared them away.

It is almost like other people that are marginalized don't *expect* to be accepted, so they push people away. Or it could be me...

Or I approach, and there is no interest on the other person's part.

While on this subject, there is another form of "marginalized" in which I don't have any trouble attracting interest.... that is, people who are openly rude or inconsiderate.

It is almost as if.... I'm so low on the social desirability scale that the only people that I attract are the.... undesirables.

It is an impossible equation that I can never hope to solve....

Do you seek connections with other marginalized people, and if so, what was your experience?

The only thing I expect from marginalized people is to despise me for being a privileged twit and rob me, beat me up or kill me. I expect them to feel more than justified in doing so because they've had to fight a lot in life, while I haven't, and, since I'm too spoiled to defend myself, I'd just get what I have coming. Therefore, while I admire and envy their ability to survive, I cowardly stay away from them, hoping to cheat my comeuppance for as long as possible.

I've had a mixed experience.

People in difficult situations may be able to empathize, or there may still be trouble understanding each other. They may have used their experience to become wiser and more understanding, or they may believe themselves right to push others around and intimidate or silence others to feel bigger. They might be looking for genuine connection and friendship, or just someone to boost them up.

I am marginalised.

Yeah, my friends and I were all rejects of the common midwest culture. There's a kind of mental wisdom that only people who have lived in the minority can actually know. It's hard to define, but it makes it much easier to actually communicate with them.

I wouldn't say I seek it out, that's just the environment I'm in. Obviously it is easier to have a connection with somebody you have more in common with...

I think I know what you mean. When I was in elementary school I had a small group of friends among the unpopular kids--the popular girls called us the "nerd herd". We were all awkward misfits in our own way, and we gravitated towards each other because of that (and because when you are bullied there is safety in numbers). I think marginalised people naturally have more empathy for one another because of our shared experience of being marginalised and this does make it easier to communicate and relate to one another.

My experience is similar to yours, existentialterror. It has caused me quite a lot of anguish over the years. Most of us here are marginalised in one way or another, but of course it takes different forms. Many people in this situation have an inherent (and probably justified) suspicion of anyone who reaches out to them, and will push you away sooner or later, before you do the same to them - because experience tells them that that is what will happen.

It happened to me about 18 months ago on another forum, and was very painful.

Marginalized people are likely to be more vulnerable than average, which may be why they withdrew from you. They might not have been able to figure out what to make of you.

I got scolded for being "rude" to two people at my office who both struck me as aspie-like. I do not believe I was rude in either case but was perceived to be. Since I can't afford to be getting blamed for stuff, I just began to totally shun both of these people, not even making eye contact or saying hello if we passed in a corridor. I could not afford any more bad reports.

So did that make them feel better about themselves? Probably not. Not my problem, though.

Yes, I have. Because they seemed to accept me.
Also I don't judge them to be less then mainstream people.
And I am marginalized too.

I don't seek them out, but nor do I automatically exclude them as most people do (if you think about it, that is what makes them marginalized in the first place). So, I often end up getting to know them. And of the people I know, they make up a far higher percent than for most people. Besides, as Marybird put it about herself; in many ways and situations I am one of them.

It is indeed painful; even more so than getting rejected by "normals".

the majority of my friends are LGBTQ+ or mentally ill or physically disabled or autistic or a combination of those because those are all aspects of my identity and I become friends more easily with people who are those things because there is usually more understanding there.

I have physical & mental disabilities in addition to my Aspergers & I get along better with other people who also have issues/problems/disabilities.

Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

I prefer the term 'fringe' rather than marginal (although they're loosely indicated as being synonymous).

Personally, I'm more impressed or piqued when someone is openly willing to identify what makes themselves unique and strong rather than sheep-like or like others.

Regarding the specific subject matter of original post, I simply cannot identify with people who've grown up in overly sheltered environments, who've had things handed to them, or whom success seems to find on a daily basis. They often lack the ability to appreciate people who have to claw and scratch for every inch of real estate in their lives. Taking pity or being charitable is not entirely acceptable. The help is appreciated, but it's two-way relationships that matter.