Are you good at telling rehearsed lies?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm terrible at lying on the spot. I always get the stupidest smirk. I even get that stupid smirk when I'm telling the truth and I'm unlikely to be believed. It's super annoying. One thing I am good at is telling lies I've planned ahead of time. I can make up a false memory and imagine myself telling the lie until it seems like the truth. I once told a rehearsed lie for a prank. It was so convincing I have to tell people multiple times I made the whole thing up.

If you look like a liar when you're telling the truth, you don't have much to lose by lying, do you?

Nope. I seem pathologically incapable of lying whether on the spot or rehearsed. Which is very awkward. Have had to adapt an elaborate system of evasiveness in order to get around this in a system where one is expected to lie from birth.

I'm terrible at lying now. I went through a brief period in my youth where I thought lying to adults was just so cool, that I didn't care about lying and was quite good at it.

Now lies are hard because I don't like doing it. If I have to lie, rehearsed lies are easier.

I don't know. The smirk mostly happens because of pressure. I'm going to use my autism diagnosis as an excuse if I ever get questioned by police. My body language is super unreliable when I'm under pressure.

Don't use your autism as an excuse, unless you're having a meltdown/shutdown in front of them. If you do, the police will believe you less.

I know a few nt people that usually look guilty regardless of actual guilt. They do have the smirk. I think it's actually just nervousness showing.

I think this is more easily understood in terms of the law of the jungle. There's no virtue but strength and no sin but weakness. You're not nervous because you did something some paper somewhere says is wrong; you're nervous because you know someone is stronger than you and can punish you if they decide to, for whatever reason, or for no reason at all. The purpose of justice, like that of basically everything that can harm you, is therefore to weed out the weak. Being nervous gives away your weakness, which is precisely the only thing that makes you guilty.

When people tell me to look them in the eye I have an uncontrollable urge to smirk and laugh so even when I am telling the truth they think I am lying.

No. Neither rehearsed or improvised.

And this then creates all these awkward situations where people expect you to tell them a white lie.

Either you force yourself to tell a white lie, and you come across as weird because the white lie does not come out naturally, and people start wondering what's wrong with you.

Or you tell the truth, and will be considered rude and offensive.

This dilemma is a big part of why social interactions are so draining.

I don't like lying, but I'm pretty good at it. I don't like it because a) I sometimes believe my own lies or get uncertain which version is true, and b) I don't like the thought of someone else believing something untrue about me.

Exactly. My statements are not directed at looks or things like that, but I am blunt when it comes to social games of any kind. I am fairly kind and benevolent person and people sense it no matter if I make mistakes. Some even like my integrity in the matter and that I don't choose sides. As my social being isn't centered around licking the ar*es that are considered carrying the most power in social situations, it makes even my compliments trustworthy, as one person put it. But I know I have also hurt people with my direct statements.

I think a good example of the benefit of staying out of social lies and gaming is a situation that happened to me about five years ago. A celebrity in Finnish scale came to the customer service I was working at. This guy entered the desk very self-conscious and so to say full of himself. But as I didn't become full of this guy (which he was probably used to), he at first became really hostile towards me. I just didn't mirror any "specialty" back and he felt lost. I was not impressed neither startled. I didn't clearly play with the same social game rules he was used to. I didn't so to say lick his a$$.

But as we interacted awhile (since doing the service he needed took time) something weird happened in this guy. I stayed the same, but at one point he suddenly like loosened and his whole being turned almost around. At the point we had finished his business, he was still hanging at the counter telling stuff, smiling and being truly nice - kind of freed. Just talking about life. It was such a weird experience, because the guy changed completely and while leaving he was like thanking me several times from a job that was nothing at all.

As I pondered the whole thing at home, I came to the conclusion that this guy was really thanking me from something else. He rarely got into real interaction. He was so used to everything being about him that when he entered the office he was not looking at me, but rather looking for a reflection of himself. When I didn't reflect this image and didn't automatically pay my respects to him, he became angry at first like his whole existence would be under threat.

What I think happened is that he finally saw me and at least for a short while remembered what it is to see and to be truly seen. Not by default as perfect, great and awesome, but judged as a man is judged - based on his actions at the spot.

I've been accused of lying when I'm telling the truth because I blush a lot when I'm talking.

I'm actually a really bad liar because I see no reason to lie.

I've become good at lying to people I don't respect or take seriously. I tend to lie when people ask about things that are not their business, or about things that I don't think they're actually interested in, like when they ask 'How are you?'

I don't lie - EVER. My life is an open book.

Perhaps, that's why a lot of people don't like talking to me. I'm too open, too fast and honest!

I must admit though, I do seem to attract (some) people without even meaning to - and I spend a lot of my time trying to shed them. That's a horrible way to put it. I should say, distance myself from them. I'm not antisocial. I just don't like most people. They're false, rude, vicious, jealous, vindictive and aggressive. All of the things I'm not.

When I was in hospital, a guy said to me, "You're too honest!"

That's me! What you see is what you get. I just don't have it in me to lie about myself!

I don't play the games people play and they can't handle someone who's straight up about who they are!